395 réponses à ce sujet

[tallon1982]

Freckles04 wrote...

ReubenLiew wrote...



*leaves thread with belongings*

Awww...

You can come back if you bring lamp-post shaped cookies.

Without being licked please!

Anyway the story is awesome! I can see Alistair just going psycho on them. One can of King sized whoop ass coming up.

[Jannamarie]

OMG, I just found your fanfic today.  I'm dying for more.  Your part 2 made me tear up, as only the best romance does.  I could just picture Wynne so easily.

[Freckles04]

Jannamarie wrote...

OMG, I just found your fanfic today.  I'm dying for more.  Your part 2 made me tear up, as only the best romance does.  I could just picture Wynne so easily.

Thank you, Jannamarie! I'm glad it had an effect on you!

[TanithAeyrs]

Freckles04 wrote...

TanithAeyrs wrote...

I think Alistair's vision of the Wardens has been tarnished. It will be interesting to see how he reacts. Will be waiting for tomorrows installment.

It sure has. I have an idea of what shall transpire...

Mind you, with the way this story has been going, my ideas don't mean a whole lot. It may end up going in an entirely different direction.

I know what you mean.  You create a general idea of which way a story is going and then your characters change their minds.  I am stalled in my own ff right now because the next chapter I had planned suddenly doesn't feel right for the characters.

[Freckles04]

Part 15

She did not dream. There were only moments of vague awareness, separated by darkness. In those moments, she recognized what little she saw of her surroundings, but they fell away again so easily, less real than even the imaginary tableaus of the Fade. Time had no meaning.

So accustomed was she to waking for brief moments before being dragged back into oblivion, it took some time for Bryn to realize she was aware. Fully aware, her eyes open and fixed on the ceiling above her. Candlelight flickered around the room, illuminating little and keeping much in shadows. The air chilled her nose, though the rest of her body was well-covered by a down-filled duvet. The room around her felt large, and empty. She lay still, listening for any indication that she was not alone, but heard nothing.

No guard? Excellent. She would be gone from this place--whatever it was--before anyone was the wiser.

She tried to push herself from the bed, and failed utterly. Her muscles were less responsive than even immediately following the assassination attempt. Her limbs shook with the meagre effort. Maker, what was wrong with her? How long had she been unconscious?

"You'll make yourself ill." A petite woman in a skirt and tunic swept into the room. Bryn subsided, watching her. She wore her dark hair pulled back into a bun, the temples streaked with silver. Delicate, pointed ears extended on each side, matching the porcelain-doll-like features of her face. "Get used to being abed. You won't be leaving it anytime soon."

Bryn opened her mouth to respond, but her voice stuck in her dry throat. Wordlessly, the elf helped her sit up then handed her a mug of water from the table beside the bed. The cool liquid felt good against Bryn's dusty tongue. After a couple of small sips, she handed the cup back to the elf and leaned into the pillows propped behind her.

"Where am I?" Her voice was rough with disuse, and she cleared her throat.

"Weisshaupt." The elf placed the cup back on the table, then looked down at Bryn, her arms crossed. "You should have come when you were summoned."

Bryn closed her eyes, remembering the tersely worded letter that had arrived a month or so after the Siege of Denerim. "I've been busy."

A spark of humor flared in the woman's voice. "So I've heard."

Sighing, Bryn opened her eyes. "You have to realize that taking me by force was a bad idea. The King won't be pleased."

Something flickered in the other woman's gaze, an emotion Bryn struggled to identify. Anger? The elf's eyes narrowed. "I could scarcely believe it when I heard that the new King of Ferelden was a bastard and a Grey Warden as well. Who would have imagined?"

"I know Wardens are supposed to be neutral," Bryn said slowly, unsure of the origin of the woman's ire. "But the situation in Ferelden…"

"Ah, yes, the situation in Ferelden." The elf spun away from Bryn. She strode a few steps away, before turning again. "You're to thank for that, aren't you?"

"Me?" Bryn blinked at the suddenness with which the woman's anger focused on her.

"If the rumors I've heard are true--and I have no reason to doubt them--it was you who crowned Maric's bastard. After setting yourself up as his Queen, yes?" She marched forward and Bryn felt the sudden urge to flee from this slip of a woman. "You wanted power that badly, did you?"

Shock froze the breath in Bryn's throat. "I beg your pardon."

Magic crackled at the woman's fingertips. A mage. Dear Maker, she was trapped in a room with a furious mage. A mage who was raging over Maker-knew-what. The crackling intensified, and Bryn realized that the woman was waiting for an answer.

She swallowed, wondering if her next words would save her or condemn her. "I love him."

"So you shackle him to a life where he'll never know freedom?"

"Why do you care?" Bryn wanted to call the words back as soon as they left her lips, but she didn't.

The elf stared at her for a moment, the only sound the magic resonating around them. "I knew Maric," she said finally. "Being King was never a joy to him, only a burden. I wouldn't wish that life on someone who had another path they could follow."

Bryn took a breath, unsure why she felt the need to explain her decision in detail--but she did. "I may have been arbiter at the Landsmeet, but I didn't force the crown on Alistair. He wanted to be King. Ferelden needed him as King. But I worried that crowning him as sole ruler would not present a strong enough position, since the Bannorn knew nothing of him. However, I was believed to be Teyrna of Highever at the time, since we did not know if my brother yet lived. My family was well known and well respected. Announcing myself as his Queen cemented his claim to the throne." She paused. "Truth be told, I would have married him even if he'd been nothing more than a servant's son. Him being King or me being Queen never mattered." She sank back into the cushions, her energy spent.

The elf's eyes never strayed from Bryn, and the Warden wondered if she'd get around to using the nimbus of magic flickering at her hands. After a few moments, the crackles died away. "Rest," she ordered, her voice brusque. She turned to leave.

Bryn's mouth quirked. "After all that, do you think I might know your name?"

The elf paused at the door. "Fiona," she said simply, then disappeared.

Fiona. Bryn wanted to call after her, but her eyes drooped, and she felt herself pulled reluctantly into sleep.

[Sisimka]

Aha!  More!

Modifié par Sisimka, 04 février 2010 - 06:09 .

[Miliat]

Yay Fiona! Yes more please.

[K9miles]

I'm glad you didn't bring up the issue as Allistar being king is a bad thing other then he doesn't want it. If you speak to Riordan about Weisshaupt he tells you that the grey wardens run the country it's in and they are the kings there.

[Freckles04]

K9miles wrote...

I'm glad you didn't bring up the issue as Allistar being king is a bad thing other then he doesn't want it. If you speak to Riordan about Weisshaupt he tells you that the grey wardens run the country it's in and they are the kings there.

I think the difference is that the Wardens in Weisshaupt aren't the rulers in name; the people look to them to rule, however, since the actual king is weak. So they can try to argue that they're neutral...even though they're not.

In Ferelden's case (in my story anyway), the two native Grey Wardens ARE the ruling nobility. They cannot claim to be neutral or pretend they are. The rest of the Grey Wardens aren't happy about this, but it's a unique situation. I don't think they'll condemn Bryn and Alistair's actions because of that (for other things, maybe, but probably not that).

[grallonsphere]

I've been enjoying this until entry 14... Alistair reacted like a moonstruck 15yo - all afire for his missing girl-friend - rather than as the King he now is; there was no thoughts for his personal safety, no thoughts about making ennemies of the Grey Order (despite what he learned at Warden's keep), no considerations a man used to statecraft should have had.



It felt wrong when compared to what you showed us of him until then - and what a man who's grown during the fight against the Archdemon should be. In fact it felt like your typical woman's fantasy imagining how her beloved would react if something like that were to happen to her. It was jarring.



Still the rest of it was quite well paced until then. Keep up the good work.









G.

[Sialater]

Why wouldn't he react that way? It's not been that long that he's been King. Bryn is also his queen in all but name, it's kinda an act of war. Even if she's NOT queen, politically, she's the heir of the Teryn of Highever, AND the Grey Warden Commander.



He'd damned well better get pissed off. Al's never had thoughts of his personal safety or he wouldn't be fighting alongside you the whole time during the Blight.

[ReubenLiew]

Maybe it'll suit his character better if he just stomps offf to become a drunk?

*flees*

[Freckles04]

grallonsphere wrote...

I've been enjoying this until entry 14... Alistair reacted like a moonstruck 15yo - all afire for his missing girl-friend - rather than as the King he now is; there was no thoughts for his personal safety, no thoughts about making ennemies of the Grey Order (despite what he learned at Warden's keep), no considerations a man used to statecraft should have had.

It felt wrong when compared to what you showed us of him until then - and what a man who's grown during the fight against the Archdemon should be. In fact it felt like your typical woman's fantasy imagining how her beloved would react if something like that were to happen to her. It was jarring.

Still the rest of it was quite well paced until then. Keep up the good work.




G.

Sorry to hear that, grallonsphere, but I disagree.

Alistair has always realized there are lines you should not cross. We see one in game: the possible recruitment of Loghain. In my story, the kidnapping of his soon-to-be wife is another and threatening the King of Ferelden by killing his guards is a third. Although intellectually Alistair has grasped the concept of "whatever is necessary", in reality he doesn't follow that philosophy and never has.

His first duty is to Ferelden. Kidnapping Bryn can be viewed -- and he does view it -- as an act of aggression/war. And rightfully so. She is his betrothed, the sister of one of the high nobles of the country, AND the Grey Warden Commander. That first act of aggression on the Wardens' part is compounded by the attack on his guards. He didn't go looking for the fight -- Marcel and the Wardens made all of the first moves. How else could he react here? Backing down would weaken his position as King. He does not take pleasure in what he had to do, but it was his duty to do so.

With regards to two of your points:

- Alistair is "not thinking about his personal safety": Alistair's minset about his personal safety is illustrated quite well
in the final blow to the archdemon should you have him romanced and NOT done Morrigan's ritual. The life of his beloved is so much more important to him that he sacrifices himself. Personal safety is not one of his considerations at all.

- Alistair has "no considerations a man used to statecraft should have": He's still learning, since, as Sialater pointed out, he hasn't been King for long. In addition, Alistair is not a character who can step back from his emotions easily and make objective decisions -- a trait that, again, is illustrated many times in the game. I think it would be more out of character were he to consider the potential repercussions objectively rather than acting.

That said, I believe I did mention somewhere up thread that I am a romance writer, so yes, the romance portion of the story is my focus. However, I don't believe I've strayed from the characterizations set up in the game in the least, at least not with Alistair. I've studied him long and hard, you see...

:innocent:

[Sialater]

~raises glass to Freckles~ To studying!

[tallon1982]

Actually Alistair reacted the way a person in love should. When there is a treat to a loved one the fight or flight response kicks in. Depending on the personality of the person, which in this case is Alistair, his fight response kicked in. He's realizes that yes this is dangerous but he will at all cost do whatever it takes to protect those he loves. In fact one of the endings where he loves the warden and does not do the ritual he will take the killing blow himself to protect her. Love is a VERY powerful emotion and will blind those to reason. To Alistair his life is Bryn in this story. Without her he is totally lost.

[MarcusDeVarro]

more please

[K9miles]

Freckles04 wrote...

K9miles wrote...

I'm glad you didn't bring up the issue as Allistar being king is a bad thing other then he doesn't want it. If you speak to Riordan about Weisshaupt he tells you that the grey wardens run the country it's in and they are the kings there.

I think the difference is that the Wardens in Weisshaupt aren't the rulers in name; the people look to them to rule, however, since the actual king is weak. So they can try to argue that they're neutral...even though they're not.

In Ferelden's case (in my story anyway), the two native Grey Wardens ARE the ruling nobility. They cannot claim to be neutral or pretend they are. The rest of the Grey Wardens aren't happy about this, but it's a unique situation. I don't think they'll condemn Bryn and Alistair's actions because of that (for other things, maybe, but probably not that).

I certainly wasn't picking on your story of Ferelden. I have enjoyed it and I'm checking all the time for updates . The inflection that I felt from Riordan was that he looked down on the rule of Wardens in Weisshaupt, and he never was interested in going there because of it. So, it  seemed that they play politics there not that the people look to them, or I could go back and play that dialoge again. Or I could just sit back and enjoy more of your story

[Freckles04]

K9miles wrote...

Freckles04 wrote...

K9miles wrote...

I'm glad you didn't bring up the issue as Allistar being king is a bad thing other then he doesn't want it. If you speak to Riordan about Weisshaupt he tells you that the grey wardens run the country it's in and they are the kings there.

I think the difference is that the Wardens in Weisshaupt aren't the rulers in name; the people look to them to rule, however, since the actual king is weak. So they can try to argue that they're neutral...even though they're not.

In Ferelden's case (in my story anyway), the two native Grey Wardens ARE the ruling nobility. They cannot claim to be neutral or pretend they are. The rest of the Grey Wardens aren't happy about this, but it's a unique situation. I don't think they'll condemn Bryn and Alistair's actions because of that (for other things, maybe, but probably not that).

I certainly wasn't picking on your story of Ferelden. I have enjoyed it and I'm checking all the time for updates . The inflection that I felt from Riordan was that he looked down on the rule of Wardens in Weisshaupt, and he never was interested in going there because of it. So, it  seemed that they play politics there not that the people look to them, or I could go back and play that dialoge again. Or I could just sit back and enjoy more of your story

My apologies! I didn't mean to come off as argumentative at all, because I agree with you.

Riordan didn't like how the Weisshaupt Wardens liked to be in charge in the Anderfels, agreed. But it's in an informal way -- not officially recognized. In Ferelden, though, the Grey Wardens are officially the nobility, so the situation is a little different.

Basically, it's a unique situation. Probably not one that the Wardens in general like...but it's not like they have much choice in the matter.

[K9miles]

definitely not a situation that my warden approved of, but my warden is dead, so his opinion is limited

[Freckles04]

K9miles wrote...

definitely not a situation that my warden approved of, but my warden is dead, so his opinion is limited

LOL...true!

Beind dead puts a damper on things like opinions.

[tallon1982]

Could always have a talk to the dead moment lol

[grallonsphere]

Freckles04 wrote...

...How else could he react here? Backing down would weaken his position as King. He does not take pleasure in what he had to do, but it was his duty to do so.

I don't want to enter an argument with you, I'm merely expressing an opinion - knowing that what we both percieve is subjective.  I do think however that he has learned, from Ostagar onward, and by being in contact with his companions, that one should think before one acts or reacts.

How else could he react you ask?  By taking a moment to think of what might happen to Bryn if he should kill the wardens who abducted her.   Making himself the ennemy of the Order isn't exactly smart when you wish to protect someone who's in their custody.  Backing down would not weaken his position as king since there are no witnesses (read nobody from the nobility or the Chantry) to observe this... tactical retreat towards a more secure position from whence he can regroup (Highever or Denerim).  In fact he is the agrieved party here - hence he should have demanded explanations and reparations from Marcel - who seem like he was willing to explain - that is until Alistair cut his throat... 

I guess what I object to is the impulsivness and lack of forethought from someone who's been exposed to the effects of such flaws.

But anyhow,, your story will go where it will.




G. 

[Freckles04]

grallonsphere wrote...

I don't want to enter an argument with you, I'm merely expressing an opinion - knowing that what we both percieve is subjective.  I do think however that he has learned, from Ostagar onward, and by being in contact with his companions, that one should think before one acts or reacts.

How else could he react you ask?  By taking a moment to think of what might happen to Bryn if he should kill the wardens who abducted her.   Making himself the ennemy of the Order isn't exactly smart when you wish to protect someone who's in their custody.  Backing down would not weaken his position as king since there are no witnesses (read nobody from the nobility or the Chantry) to observe this... tactical retreat towards a more secure position from whence he can regroup (Highever or Denerim).  In fact he is the agrieved party here - hence he should have demanded explanations and reparations from Marcel - who seem like he was willing to explain - that is until Alistair cut his throat... 

I guess what I object to is the impulsivness and lack of forethought from someone who's been exposed to the effects of such flaws.

But anyhow,, your story will go where it will.




G. 

As late as the Landsmeet in game, Alistair can display a total lack of objectivity. Is the objective thing to walk away from the Wardens should Loghain be recruited? No. He allows his emotions to push him to a decision. He has proven again and again that he cannot remain separate from his emotions; it's just not who he is.

It's the same concept here, but there's more at play as well. Perhaps he would have been more willing to speak with Marcel, had the Wardens not attacked his guards. By taking that action, the Wardens cemented their betrayal of Ferelden's King. Alistair has learned that there is only one, and can be only one, response to a threat to the throne, regardless of who is in attendence at the event.

I'm going to respectfully request that this discussion be closed. I'd like to reserve this thread for further posts of my story, instead of taking up space with arguments. Thanks.

[tallon1982]

Freckles...you made me think of this as your story theme for some reason

Across the Stars

[Jannamarie]

Ack! Pacing back and forth, dying to see where this is going.