"I have to ask how you define RPG?"
Well, I don´t really define rpg. Not even in the sense that I choose a personal definition. The reality of what constitutes a rpg is something set. It´s a game in which you fulfill a role.The role in one particular rpg could be fixed and totally set in stone with no chance for customization, somewhat flexible, or largely flexible (down to name, species, race, class, age, sexual orientation, religion, skills, profession, political view, size, color and thickness of nose hair).
"That is, to me, a Role Play Game allows me to carve out and play out a role, or a character. For me this goes beyond race and class and stats, alone; to include sex, personality, and expressing that through my character's dialogue, actions, and choices."
I´ll have to disagree with you on that. While SOME rpgs CAN allow you to customize all the aspects you listed, a videogame rpg is not really defined by this flexibility, nor is it in any way essential for a game to be a rpg. The Sonic rpg from Bioware, Phantasy Star 4, Legend of Zelda, Final Fantasy X and Super Mario RPG are all clear examples of rpgs in which the customization is minimal or nonexistent.
While a rpg can offer you the chance to fully customize your character (down to the color of the nails), they don´t necessarily have to do it in order to be rpgs. I must presume that you do live in North America. Am I right? Because you´re using a common characteristic of American rpgs as if it was a mark of the whole genre. This is like equating Hollywood with movies.
This is a trend among rpgs, specially in the West, but it´s in no way mandatory for them. A game can offer you a totally defined character, and still menage to be a rpg, even an fantastic, incredibly good rpg. PS4 is a fine example.
There are pros and cons with each philosophy behind rpgs. Do you remember that option in DA1 when the king congratulates your character (please note, I´m not referring to you, but your character) and one of the responses can be that it does not feel so special? Well, I struggle with this when it comes to games like mass effect. How can I believe that my character is special and that only him or her could accomplish such a feat that is leading to so much praise, when I know for a fact that a totally different soldier, from a different gender, different personality, different history service, different specializations, different upbring, would be in the exact same place, experiencing the same scene, with slight or perhaps even no variations? Anyone could have done it! Well, maybe not everyone, but just about everyone among the hundreds of sheppard variants available for download on the mesaves site.
One really good Superman story has to be one that could only be about Superman. Same goes for Batman. Having a bland and undefined character opens possibilities, but also a can of worms in terms of problems.
Sure, customizations increase the replay value of a title. But offering more not always equates to offering better. A fixed story has its advantages too. The writing staff can concentrate in providing a solid and interesting story, while in a more open environment they have to take carefully into account all the possible variations and try to make them all interesting and legitimate. Sometimes, more effort is made in make it work in terms of structure, than in offering interesting dialogue. Many of such diverse choices are bugged to this day in Baldur´s Gate, Dragon Age and Mass Effect. Sometimes it´s better to try something of smaller scope and menage to deliver it perfectly than trying something megalomaniac and fail to deliver it, or provide a broken experience. Better to have a small success than a big failure.
Also, games with fixed stories and characters tend to offer more coherent plots and interesting main-quests. Bioware games have interesting characters and lore, but I find their main-quests to be unimpressive. Non-customizable rpgs are hit or miss opportunities, so the creators have to give their best shot, since it´s their only shot. In customizable games, the beauty is on the attention to detail and all the possible variables. So they tend to overlook the main story and offer a lukewarm experience.
Now, it may sound like I´m a hater of customizable rpgs, but this is in no way the case. Far from it. In fact, DA and ME are among my all time favorite games. I´m merely addressing the differences, pros and cons of each style. I can appreciate examples of both experiences (and I do). I don´t desire that any of them be abandoned. There´s plenty of room for both. The gaming world would suffer loss should any of the 2 styles died.
I think that if a game will offer you choices, the choices must matter. One of the things I liked more about DA1 (since you already know what I enjoyed in 2) is the fact that your origins and what you decide to do in your origin story (and in all subsequent chapters) do matter. Characters react differently to you. It felt like my character was really making alliances, having an impact whenever he or she went, creating a massive army to oppose the menace and shaping History in his or her own way. It was a fine example of customizable rpg done right. It was bioware showing why they´re so respected and loved.
I think the biggest problem with DA2 is the name. People expect it to be a sequel not only to DAO, but to everything the game was. In itself, DA2 is very good. It´s a much better title than the majority of rpgs out there, whether customizable or not, from Japan, Europe, North America...
If only it was released as a side-story, as something that was inside Thedas, and influent inside the DA universe, something faster, cheaper and clearly made only to keep the seat warm for a few years until the true DA2 becomes ready, I think the reaction would have been much more positive. "Dragon Age Hawke´s tale". A mere semantical element, a name, could have made all the difference in the world.
Since it is a side-story, they could actually test the waters to see if any differences introduced are well-accepted and if they should migrate to the main series. Some tv-series and motion pictures do have comic books spin-offs or mini web-series among seasons or between2 movies in order to keep interest high in the public. Why could not DA2 be something like that, of smaller scope and budget, in mid-development of DA3?
I would have no problem with DA2 even if it was less customizable than it is in regards to the protagonist, if it was side-story. ME galaxy and infiltrator are side-stories with fixed protagonists.
DA2 tried to distance itself from DA1 in exactly what I think was more successful in 1. It changed not only something that was not broken, but what was the most recognizable element of the original game. A bad call, that makes the game seem rushed and cheap (probably because that´s what it was), but it´s far cry from being a disaster. DA2 style is nice as an experiment, an exception, but I think bioware should stick with the rule, with the trend that made them famous, of highly customizable rpgs.
While not being DA1 is not a sin, one can see and understand people´s frustration over the drastic change. If only they had released it under a different name or subtitle than number 2.
"So for me, the choices for what sex my character is, whom they love (or if they love at all,) and such are just as important as race and class. And as a female it is much easier for me to slip into the role of a female character. So, for me that distinction is more important than race. If DA2 had cut gender choice instead of race, I'd not have purchased it."
I´m afraid I need to differ from you again. While I certainly have no business regarding your own preferences and priorities I think it´s a matter of common sense that in a rpg that is customizable, and a sequel to one so famous for the different origins, that class and race are more important than romance. You need to be from a assigned class, from a certain race. That´s mandatory. But you don´t have to pursuit romance at all. Nor is required from any game to have romance (even though on bioware rpgs that´s a given, an unwritten rule of sorts).
The color of the skin and the style and color of the hair would be much more relevant customizations than, let´s say, armpit hair color and size, of size and color of nails. I can share the frustration of so many, in seeing a game that clains to be the sequel to DAO, with so many customizations in terms of gender, feminine visual and romance, but that forces you to use a human, and with a fixed origin. I would gladly exchange all the visual customizations and gender options as well as romances if I could play as dwarf or elf. I would rather never have to make this call, being forced to choose, but if I had to, gender and multi-romances would be discarded, in favor of races.
DA1 was remarkable in its origins system. The feature was so great that even ended up in the final name for the game. It is understandably a letdown having to always be a human from the same family in da2. While many games can let you choose females, rpgs are some of the best when it comes to race. I would very much rather have a barbarian male, an old dwarf and a female mage (ok, it´s the golden axe cast) if possible a female elf, than having only a choice between male and female human. Gender becomes even less of a issue of relevance when both genders have the exact same romance options. This is actually backwards diversity.
By the way, I don´t like in general how romances are portrayed in rpgs. There´s so much room for improvement. Why not have a character that is already married and is expected to return home? For him, for months without news of his wife, there could be a possibility of her having died, or that he would never die, never to return to her again. Why not offer a romance for a character like this as betrayal? With some characters being repulsed by him having a wife while others would be more open. Or one character whose social group allowed polygamy?
True diversity is having people behaving differently. Some characters could require more effort and talks in order to be seduced. Some could demand marriage, or that you meet her parents. Or convert to his or her religion. Others could only want casual sex, or a more open relationship. That would require more effort (from the creators as well as the player), but it would sound so much more realistic and challenging, mature, and less like automatic events. If they have to do romance, let them do it right.
Also,potential romance prospectives could have points of advantages or disadvantages. If you made a play thinking of romancing character X, you could built your protagonist in a way that he or she would have less obstacles to overcome. Let´s say, you can have up to 3 red flags, which would make that character totally unavailable for romance. 2 yellow flags would equate one red flag. Red flags would be major turn offs, while yellow flags would be smaller easily addressable things that in excess would ruin the chance for romance. Each kind of flag would require you to address the issue, either by a side-quest, a gift, a promise while talking about the subject, trying to convince the other part.
Some of the characters could consider same-sex as a "no way route". Some could have different levels of reluctance (needing some work done in order to change position) , some being 75% opposed, some with it being a yellow flag, or red flag. What was a minor turn-off for one could be a major turn-off for another, and no issue to a third character. Romance should be about overcoming obstacles. Since our own characters can express sympathy, disdain, opposition to people, why not the opposite in romance prospects? People should be able to feel attracted or repulsed by different aspects, with different degrees of tolerance, and willingness to go in different directions, with different speeds, different styles. Depending on what constituted your character, some NPCs would be more than willing to romance you, less than willing, in severe need of convincing or totally against the idea. This would be a way to make romance that would actually impress me. It would be true to life and a real display of maturity in games.
Instead, what we are getting is a sickening caricature of reality that can only exist in the most extreme surreal dream of the gay agenda, where having a character that is available as hetero-only romance is an aggression against sick sensibilities incapable of dealing with even the slightest notion of rejection, disapproval or anything less than claps. (strangely, having ******-exclusive romances in me3 was no issue at all for them). DA2 did not become more mature, but actually more childish in this aspect. No one can reject anyone in terms of gender. Otherwise, it´s "spreading hate, bigotry and intolerance" and more of the same blablabla from the agenda. If they have a problem with not having access to a certain situation or scene with a certain character configuration they have chosen, then the last thing they should be doing is playing a rpg from bioware. If you like to cast spells, don´t choose among the dwarfs. But some people like to create dream worlds where there´s no chance of rejection, disagreement, criticism. It´s the same mentality that fuels the crybabies who can´t accept that some characters in ME have to die, and that it´s Bioware who dictates the ending and not them.
"I don't claim to speak for any other females in that regard. I honestly don't know how individual a proclivity that is."
As a man, I can say that as a boy I had no problems in playing with Chun-Li, Mai Shiranui, Charlotte, Nakoruru, Lara Croft, Allys. If you happened to discover me playing with them I would not feel like you just saw me dressed in my sister´s underwear in a guilty or dirty pleasure. I have no problem in controlling a female character. No more than moving a queen piece at chess. I don´t demand it, but I take no issues. In ME, I prefer to use female. If I have to spend hours watching a character in front of me, I rather have a very attractive woman.
Some rpgs allow you to attempt to create a virtual you, of sorts. But that´s not a requirement either. At most, I can create a character that resembles me, who would behave in what I see as the closer to ideal given the options.
I don´t think I could run as Sheppard does. I´m also not his size, I don´t have his voice. I don´t think I could use that body armor, nor manipulate biotic powers or take the top spot at Pinnacle Station. And none of his possible origin stories bear similarities to my upbringing. And constantly, when faced with a dilemma for him, I think "you know, if I was under his skin, or if this was really over my shoulders, I would have tried something different, not listed/covered here".
I feed no illusions that the character I control is me. And I do feel a bit sorry for those who do it. They must be REALLy limited people, since their behavior, creativity and morals are easily covered in anticipation inside the limited possibilities of a pre-programed game mechanic.
I can see with his eyes, have some (relative and limited) control over his decisions, but even a Shepard with my face would not really be me. Never! I could try to do a fair approximation about what my decisions would be and the ones available, but I would still not have sufficient control over him, and he would still not be me inside a game. No game has managed to sell me this idea, and it would take nothing less than a holodeck to do it. I care more about essence than appearance.
Rpgs allow us to play a role, control a character, but we are not that character, even if they let us tailor the visual and make a lot of moral choices. I´m not really a friend of Garrus. I´ve never met Liara. Thane never died nor could he since he never really lived. One of my sheps once saw Tali´s face (at least twice, actually), but I never saw it. My shepard embraced eternity (whatever this is) with Asari (at least 2) and received a Prothean Cypher. I never experienced such things. Nor did I have contact with alien beacons from a long-lost civilization. My Shep was able to seduce women like Ashley and Miranda. As for me.. (ok, now I feel sorry for myself).
RPGs can try to offer the chance to customize visuals and even give some freedom regarding decisions. That´s a big difference between programed in advance videogame rpgs and the true rpgs in the classic sense, with a master coordinating the live narrative, in which you can really play yourself should you desire. As for me, I find greater appeal in remotely doing in games by means of a character (that can look very different from me) the things I could never allow myself to do in real life, like stealing cars, murdering prostitutes, attacking the police, driving over a cliff, traveling to new worlds, having mental sex with blue mono-gender aliens, committing genocide, murdering political leaders, robbing banks. Trying to emulate yourself in a very open and customizable game is ONE way of playing, but not THE (only) WAY and perhaps (it´s open to personal choice) not even the best way. That´s why so many of us miss being able to use elves and dwarfs. Being human can be a little too close to home, even inside a medieval-style fantasy lore, when so many of us want from games something drastically different from our day-by-day reality .