My read on this is still that he doesn't want Anora to be queen, and disapproves of your choice, rather than that he wants it, personally.
IDK. I ran through the Landsmeet like four times with my Brosca, to try and figure out what hardened!Alistair really wanted. It's certainly not (I think) easy call, and there's definitely room for interpretation. I just feel like being king was the least objectionable of the alternatives he had to pick from, rather than "Ooo, me! Pick me!"
You can't really figure out what he wants after hardening because it psychologically makes no sense. I have to say Gaider on this part has ZERO understanding of people right here to add in this hardening bit to work as it does. It runs in direct opposition to common sense, basic humanity, and even the logic that is applied to it does not make sense. It's like entering bizarro world where everything is opposite.
Truth is that under no circumstance does alistair really want to be king. If you pay attention to everything he says about the grey wardens, he's not fond of it but it is something he likes the way he liked how training for a templar taught him discipline. He can sink his teeth into that. Just like I supposed hardened alistair could sink his teeth into being king except the hardening itself is illogical in how it changes him.
For alistair to really be happy, he needs family. In the fade, when he is trapped with his sister if you go with the 'you seem content' dialogue option you see learn how he really feels. Second option go with the top choice to kind of encourage him to leave with you. Only then can you persuade him out of the dream and then you see the real picture of what he wants. Family. People who care about him that he cares about in his life. That's all that truly matters to him. King with a noble or king with someone he romanced would probably make him happy, but I think that even though he doesn't want to die at the hands of darkspawn, having someone he felt was family, that romance aspect for his character would shift that for him. His main issue is family and not having a sense of belonging and trying to find his place. For him, love seems to accomplish that. So king with a human noble at love status would work (hardened so he seems to accept the role more) or in the grey wardens with a female at love status, both staying with the wardens and the epilogue acknowledges that he is at the side of the woman he loves.