I completely agree. It's why I just can't support the "DA: O model for romance". I found it very unfair that I didn't get a choice where other players did. It was particularly bad because I also found Zevran very unattractive in both ways as well. I'm not a skinny, long-haired elf lover, in general, and that was compounded by the fact that he was clearly more interested in sleeping around (with women, particularly). Just not what I am looking for in an m/m option. It's not that he shouldn't be an m/m option, mind you, just that I would like to have a choice of someone else.
DA 2 was slightly better in that I got a choice, but they weren't really the best choices, imo. I'll never complain about that choice, mind you. However, Anders is pretty whiny (and again with the longer hair!) and Fenris is a skinny angsty elf. I've romanced both and, while I prefer Fenris's romance in general, I think an Anders romance with my moderate male mage Hawke is a better story.
I'm really hoping for DHMG (the guy in my avi), Cullen, Iron Bull, or the Bearded Warden for the m/m options in DA: I. Although, I'm bracing for Solas, given that he's a skinny elf and that's been my luck so far.....
.....uugh ...i just can't help but enlighten you about this Anders whiny thing ,
no he's not . For one thing, Anders does far more than just talk about the Circle’s injustices. if he was just a whiner he wouldnt have blows up the Chantry,Talk about a man of action. A whiner does not do anything more than moan about their problems. Anders runs a free clinic for refugees and moonlights by helping mages escape the circle. He single-handedly starts a war that spreads to the rest of Thedas. He brought the plight of the mages to the forefront of every mind. He started a rebellion. Anders told people not to shove the horrors of the Circle under the rug anymore, and then he lit the damn carpet on fire to make sure they couldn’t do just that.
Does he complain? Yes. But about what? Not about trivialities like his tea getting cold. Hell, the man lives in filth and squalor and never asks Hawke for anything to make his life easier. In fact, when Hawke offers him coin for the maps to the Deep Road, Anders brushes it aside. No, what Anders objects to is the lack of basic human rights that all mages suffer. That’s kind of a big thing, and calling attention to it is not whining; it’s showing basic human decency.
i just couldnt let it pass , i hope you understood a little how deep the situation have been for him back in DA2.
oh and ,he didnt have very long hair ! i can imagine they can look long if he undo his little tie ,but they pretty sexy haha ,and despite that , his stubble still give him a manly look don't you think ?! i think they did a great job making him appear a still handsome man after his young warden times. with a balance between his blond yet pretty long hair and his grown up features ~ very sexy 
gosh am so out of the subject !!! but all in all , i agree about evrything !! DAO romances arent a model for sure ! but .....come on !! not the qunarii too xs ,he's like solace for me !! am soo a qunari right defender ,but ...i thought we had the same liking ;_; can you really see yourself with a qunari ? ...and about the bearded warden ....i don't know he look like he could be my father ... and the DHMG character...humm i don't know if am the only person who found his mustache rather ...odd... like some aristocrat from the 18eme century ...it doesnt quite fit in thedas don't you think !? why not cole ! he looks like the perfect troubled pretty character ! i rise my hope for him and Cullen of course ,he goes without saying ,the poor thing must be torn since the ending of DA2 !! after witnessing that evryone can fall for the whispering and be possessed even the strongest templar ,am sure he's gonna be interesting to see where he stands now , and will be even more interesting romancing him ,and even more ,on the rivalry side (if friendship and rivalry are gonna be again the way to romance ) haha ,being a mage for the mages gonna be ....interesting !