2138 réponses à ce sujet

[Char]

Ugh I know right?  Not to be offensive but out-of-touch nerds are the worst. They have no concept of boundries and their idea of flirtation isn't "I think you're beautiful and interesting and want to get to know you better" it's well come to think of it it's nothing I should repeat here!

For me the worst people are the "Personal space? What personal space?" people who seem to think the closer they get the luckier they will be  awful lines I can usually handle with a smile but I'm not a "lets practically sit in her lap" or "lets do the touchy-arm, touchy-hair thing" kind of girl.

[JadePrince]

@SilentShadows:

 

I would also think it was wrong if a gay person were on BSN saying how "uncomfortable" they are with "disgusting" displays of o/s sexuality and how they want a toggle to turn that off so they don't have to be exposed to it.  I wouldn't be personally offended (because it wouldn't be about calling me those names), but I would certainly post to say why I think it's wrong. 

 

However, the fact is, that's not the case.  I can only go on what's been presented and what's been presented is the use of a toggle solely to "turn off" s/s flirting.  More specifically, to turn off m/m flirting.  There's a very distinct underlying social and political context that is driving this, whether it's conscious or subconscious (I suspect the latter).  You just can't remove this context from this conversation.   

 

I have to admit, if there was a toggle that specifically made everyone in Dragon Age gay/lesbian, I would definitely try it. At least once. Just for the novelty of it.

[Ryzaki]

Ugh I know right?  Not to be offensive but out-of-touch nerds are the worst. They have no concept of boundries and their idea of flirtation isn't "I think you're beautiful and interesting and want to get to know you better" it's well come to think of it it's nothing I should repeat here!

 

It's not. And then they wonder why people don't want their flirtation. Then of course comes the name calling when you dare to reject them bluntly and the other names when you try to be subtle.

 

The worst part is how many of them act like I have to be nice to them even when they're intruding on my time and in my space. *rubs temples* Must not go into OT rant mode...

 

 

I'm not going to lie, I'm usually flattered by the interest, and consequently I let people know politely that unfortunately I don't return it. There are very few situations where I've ever been grossed out by someone attempting to flirt with me, and both involved rather unhygienic men over the age of 50. One of them didn't really flirt as such, he just sat down blocking my exit and told me he was going to buy me a drink and I was going to sleep with him in payment. He had no teeth to speak of and made my skin crawl- and I still said "no thank you, I'm engaged" politely and sat there like a frozen rabbit until my fiance rescued me 

 

D: *hugs* I know that frozen rabbit feel

 

Though honestly the sheer bluntness of that is just hilariously awkward. Did he seriously think you'd say yes? I just don't understand that mindset.

 

But honestly I rather just have all the flirts initiated by the player but that's just my preference. The whole compliment that you can take at face value or flirt back also works for me.

 

 

For me the worst people are the "Personal space? What personal space?" people who seem to think the closer they get the luckier they will be  awful lines I can usually handle with a smile but I'm not a "lets practically sit in her lap" or "lets do the touchy-arm, touchy-hair thing" kind of girl.

 

OMG. This reminded me of this weird dude I didn't even know sat next to me, put his arm around my shoulders (my face at this point is a mixture of WTF and is this real life?) and proceeds to tell me I'm pretty and do I want to kiss him while blatantly staring at my chest. I froze for a good 10 seconds in sheer shock at the audacity before removing his arm from my shoulders and of course that jerk kept touching me and when I tried to leave the room blocked my way until I pretty much threatened to call the cops (campus police but still). God that memory is so wtf. (Please note I said I wasn't interested at least a dozen times he kept brushing it off).

[Nefla]

For me the worst people are the "Personal space? What personal space?" people who seem to think the closer they get the luckier they will be  awful lines I can usually handle with a smile but I'm not a "lets practically sit in her lap" or "lets do the touchy-arm, touchy-hair thing" kind of girl.

Coupled with the often bad hygiene too *shudder* the absolute worst is cosplaying at anime/etc...conventions. If you're a character they like, or even worse if you are dressed like a character in a relationship with the character they are dressed like they feel like you

 

1) You are not a real person, are just a character and don't have real person feelings

2) They have permission to touch you often in a sexual way

3) You have to act "in character" and if you're dressed like Isabella and their Hawke romanced Isabella, you should be romantic with them or have sex with them

 

 

I'll take the opposite gender telling me I'm pretty or something like that and then moving on with their life if I turn them down ANY day.

[XxPrincess(x)ThreatxX]

Yeah, I usually don't mind when people show interest in me but I have pretended not to be able to speak English before when some man who was easily in his 50's/60's hit on me when I was 19 

I usually try & ignore it too, somethings are hard to ignore though such as when a guy i knew in his late 40's who regularly tried to get in my pants despite me saying i wasn't interested several times

[kalasaurus]

I usually try & ignore it too, somethings are hard to ignore though such as when a guy i knew in his late 40's who regularly tried to get in my pants despite me saying i wasn't interested several times

 

That's... ew.  I'm lucky in that I've never actually faced harassment like that before.

[XxPrincess(x)ThreatxX]

That's... ew.  I'm lucky in that I've never actually faced harassment like that before.

That isn't the worst sexual harassment ive experienced either some guys see a LGBT girl as some kind of challenge to conquer

[WildOrchid]

It's funny tho, in my life i've never been harassed by gay women but by dudes? Plenty of times.... i just don't get it. They apparently can't take no for an answer.

[Ryzaki]

It's funny tho, in my life i've never been harassed by gay women but by dudes? Plenty of times.... i just don't get it. They apparently can't take no for an answer.

 

I know people hate this word but it feels like entitlement. They feel entitled to women's time, entitled to us being pleasant, entitled to our personal space.

 

And no all guys are not like this before someone jumps on my case. But some of them? Oh boy.

[JadePrince]

It's funny tho, in my life i've never been harassed by gay women but by dudes? Plenty of times.... i just don't get it. They apparently can't take no for an answer.

 

Probably because since they know what it feels like, they're less likely to inflict it on others. :/

[In Exile]

Yeah, the amount of guys that have attempted to "turn me straight" would probably shock some people is as annoying as people thinking im a wh*re just cos of my bisexuality

 

Never understood that mindset. I remember when me and an x where sitting around just talking about hot girls. We had this whole discussion about why both of us find Angelina Jolie super attractive, which turned out to be for entirely different reasons. Being too straight is boring, but I guess YMMV. 

[Fiery Phoenix]

It's funny tho, in my life i've never been harassed by gay women but by dudes? Plenty of times.... i just don't get it. They apparently can't take no for an answer.

Saying you have a boyfriend or are married tends to immediately turn them off because they apparently respect a man they've never met more than a woman's own autonomy.

[Jagged Orchid]

Saying you have a boyfriend or are married tends to immediately turn them off because they apparently respect a man they've never met more than a woman's own autonomy.

 

Except that that is not always true. A lot of the creepier or overly persistent guys really couldn't care less. Also why should a woman have to lie to get a guy off their back? I'm not going to tell some dude I have a boyfriend or a husband if I don't. What if I have a girlfriend or a wife? Should I completely discount that relationship in the hopes that some dude that can't take a hint will get off my back. That's pretty insulting to everyone, especially me and my partner. 

[In Exile]

Saying you have a boyfriend or are married tends to immediately turn them off because they apparently respect a man they've never met more than a woman's own autonomy.

 

Some of them. Don't forget that the dudebro's motto is "just because there's a goalie doesn't mean you can't score" or some sort of nonsense along those lines. So, you know, not even that works. 

[JadePrince]

"just because there's a goalie doesn't mean you can't score" 

 

woooooow I'd never heard that. Super super gross. :/

 

That's the nice things about playing these games. I can say with some confidence that they'd never write in a male LI who you'd NEED to use one of these particular rejection white lies on. 

 

Apparently Thedas knows how to raise its boys up right.

 

(Edit: Except Murdoch.... and Oghren.)

[Abelas Forever!]

@SilentShadows:

 

I would also think it was wrong if a gay person were on BSN saying how "uncomfortable" they are with "disgusting" displays of o/s sexuality and how they want a toggle to turn that off so they don't have to be exposed to it.  I wouldn't be personally offended (because it wouldn't be about calling me those names), but I would certainly post to say why I think it's wrong. 

 

However, the fact is, that's not the case.  I can only go on what's been presented and what's been presented is the use of a toggle solely to "turn off" s/s flirting.  More specifically, to turn off m/m flirting.  There's a very distinct underlying social and political context that is driving this, whether it's conscious or subconscious (I suspect the latter).  You just can't remove this context from this conversation.   

Well I know what the debate has been about but the toggle sexuality is a feature which can be used also to make characters gay if it would be that kind of toggle. If it would be the kind of toggle what you are describing then you could turn off flirting from women if you dont't like them flirting with you. I think that I said something in wrong way which wasn't my intention so when I said "if someone don't want to see straight characters in a game then they can also change their sexuality." I really meant it like "if someone would rather like to see more gay companions they could do it by changing characters sexuality".

 

I have noticed that some people don't like m/m flirting in a game so they would like that there would be some sexuality toggle for flirting in a game. I just don't see that kind of sexuality flirting toggle that bad because there would be still different sexualities in a game. Things tend to change slowly. Maybe that would give time to people to accept that there really are gay people and it's ok.

[kalasaurus]

Yeah, barf    I also never heard that line before.

[Fiery Phoenix]

Except that that is not always true. A lot of the creepier or overly persistent guys really couldn't care less. Also why should a woman have to lie to get a guy off their back? I'm not going to tell some dude I have a boyfriend or a husband if I don't. What if I have a girlfriend or a wife? Should I completely discount that relationship in the hopes that some dude that can't take a hint will get off my back. That's pretty insulting to everyone, especially me and my partner. 

 

And the 'having to lie' part is exactly the issue with this. I've personally known a couple women who use that trick as a last resort when an obnoxious dude is consistently hitting on them and apparently it works every time. 

 

It shouldn't have to happen, but the thought that some women actually feel the need to resort to it speaks volumes about their everyday experience with strangers.

 

 

Some of them. Don't forget that the dudebro's motto is "just because there's a goalie doesn't mean you can't score" or some sort of nonsense along those lines. So, you know, not even that works. 

 

True enough.

[Nefla]

Saying you have a boyfriend or are married tends to immediately turn them off because they apparently respect a man they've never met more than a woman's own autonomy.

Well because a married woman is claimed property, and an unmarried woman is unclaimed property so "finders keepers." Property doesn't get a vote, yes some people still think like this.

 

My male coworker hits on my all the time and is always making inappropriate comments (ex: there was a spot on my apron near my nipple and he was like "here, let me rub that off for you  ") no matter how many times I say I hate it or tell him to stop, he goes back to doing it. He's my dad's age and married. Yet he told me how sick and uncomfortable it made him when his wife's gay friend told her that if they weren't married, he would go after her husband. This was not even said In front of my coworker and was said in a joking way but he was flipped out and disturbed by it and I'm like really? Why can so many straight guys dish it out (to the extreme limits of creepiness even)but not take it?

[JadePrince]

Well I know what the debate has been about but the toggle sexuality is a feature which can be used also to make characters gay if it would be that kind of toggle. If it would be the kind of toggle what you are describing then you could turn off flirting from women if you dont't like them flirting with you. I think that I said something in wrong way which wasn't my intention so when I said "if someone don't want to see straight characters in a game then they can also change their sexuality." I really meant it like "if someone would rather like to see more gay companions they could do it by changing characters sexuality".

 

I have noticed that some people don't like m/m flirting in a game so they would like that there would be some sexuality toggle for flirting in a game. I just don't see that kind of sexuality flirting toggle that bad because there would be still different sexualities in a game. Things tend to change slowly. Maybe that would give time to people to accept that there really are gay people and it's ok.

 

You really ought to go back and read the rest of this conversation, because people have already talked about and addressed the things you're saying and why they'd still be problematic. 

[Ryzaki]

Well because a married woman is claimed property, and an unmarried woman is unclaimed property so "finders keepers." Property doesn't get a vote, yes some people still think like this.

 

My male coworker hits on my all the time and is always making inappropriate comments (ex: there was a spot on my apron near my nipple and he was like "here, let me rub that off for you  ") no matter how many times I say I hate it or tell him to stop, he goes back to doing it. He's my dad's age and married. Yet he told me how sick and uncomfortable it made him when his wife's gay friend told her that if they weren't married, he would go after her husband. This was not even said In front of my coworker and was said in a joking way but he was flipped out and disturbed by it and I'm like really? Why can so many straight guys dish it out (to the extreme limits of creepiness even)but not take it?

 

But Nefla! It's women who need to get tougher skins and stop misreading compliments!

 

*sighs*

[Nefla]

But Nefla! It's women who need to get tougher skins and stop misreading compliments!

 

*sighs*

lol they say things like that but then turn around and have a rage induced fit because a male video game character said their character was handsome. /facepalm

[WildOrchid]

Well because a married woman is claimed property, and an unmarried woman is unclaimed property so "finders keepers." Property doesn't get a vote, yes some people still think like this.

 

 

 

The fact that some think of women as 'properties' is scary and f#cked up as hell.

[Jedi Master of Orion]

I thought I read somewhere that Trans people make about 3% of America's population and gay or bisexual make up like 13-15%, but it was years ago and I can't remember where.

[JadePrince]

But Nefla! It's women who need to get tougher skins and stop misreading compliments!

 

*sighs*

 

Seems like the guys taking issue with the s/s content need to start taking their own advice. "Stop misreading compliments!" "It's just harmless flirting!" "Stop being so sensitive!"

 

Edit: Ninja'd by Nefla! Haha....