No offense, but your posts tend to place the Dalish on a pedestal in comparison to other factions, so it sometimes comes off as you thinking they are perfect. Just felt that needed to be pointed out as constructive criticism. 
Perhaps you think that because of who I tend to argue with, given the extremity of their arguments against the Dalish veering into cartoony levels of villainy. Even this very thread contemplated an independent elven state leading to the apocalypse.
I've pointed out the horrendous actions committed by Zathrian, Marethari, and others, but I don't think it's fair to paint all the Dalish with the same brush.
Onto the discussion, as with every faction when some of their members paint that faction in a negative light, it is up to that faction to change my perception of them. Benefit of the doubt only goes so far. That said overall I still like the Dalish, but they do have some glaring flaws they need to fix.
This is where you and I disagree, because I don't think the Dalish are the same. They all differ, so I don't see why the flaws with some are issues with the Dalish as a whole. Even Sarel is quite different than Elora.
And yes, I try to ask only in genuine curiosity. And your answer still paints the Dalish views of City worse than City views of Dalish in my opinion since they basically hate City Elves out of spite for something they didn't do but their ancestors did.
So now you want to argue the severity of the negative views held by some Dalish in contrast to some city elves? No thanks. I'm not going to whitewash either one. Both attitudes are simply wrong. I'm able to understand the mindset of both, but I refuse to excuse either one.
As much as I love Merrill, the fact she never even thought to help the City Elves until her clan is either slaughtered or she is banished does more against your argument than her befriending a couple elves there helps it.
Merrill pursued technology to help all the elves; with that line, she's encouraged to help the Alienage elves in the same way Wynne wants a mage protagonist to return to the Circle and help the mages.