For those that use Gibbed tweaks: If you use the Bool flag to get Kelly to give you back your fish (get 3817 and set it to True,) then she shows up alive at the Citadel regardless of whether or not you had the dinner with her. Note: I don't know if this works if you didn't save her in ME2. No one gets left behind with my Sheps, so Ms. Chambers survived the SM.
Anyway, I just found that out tonight, because I got tired of having to buy back all my fish. I found this flag in an old BSN post while searching the net, but no one said she'd show up. It was a pleasant surprise. You can then convince her to change her identity and then give her a pep talk later. Since it's very unlikely that I'll ever romance Kelly, this will be my chance to see this mini quest-chain. I like her and I was bummed that I had to have dinner with her in order to see her again.
Also, I don't think it'll fully trip the "romance" flag for ME2, it only seems to have given me my fish back and started her little quest chain. In any case, I looked it up and Kaidan is okay if I "cheated" on him in between games. I don't think romancing Kelly affects him so long as Shep visits him the hospital all three times/gives him his "medicinal" whiskey (check out the description of it sometime,) and then reassures him that she still loves him, ect ect. I did have a recent hard save I made just before talking to Kelly when I ran into her in the refugee camp, so I figure I could go back and set the bool flag back to false if Kaidan was going to get upset.
For the record, Natashina Shepard (current character) spent those scenes in ME2 alone and staring at Kaidan's picture before hitting the Omega Relay, and after literally 13 minutes worth of credits (another thing I noticed recently,) I generally don't go back and talk to anyone on the Normandy in ME2. I'm ready to fire up ME3 after that long, and get my Shep's features going.
Nat isn't my avatar, but my second playthrough in progress. I still have over 3500 screenshots on my computer for my LP album to parse through in order to catch up. I obviously won't use all of them, but I've completed most of the game with Valena Shepard (which is my avatar and my Shepard for my album.) That's a lot of pictures to got through to find the good ones and try to keep my posts concise, so she'll be on hold for a little while. I have been playing Nat in the meantime.
Yes, I know I've been slacking on the album. Yes, a mega update is coming soon.
I had only vaguely heard about MAss Effect (and nothing at all about Dragon Age) when I bought ME1/2 on sale on steam. Knew nothing about the plot nor anything else - not a single spoiler. Which is why I am avoiding the DA:I forums 
Oh, I wanted to mention: If you play an archer and/or want an excellent crafted Late Game bow for Sera, please send me a PM and I can send you the link to an album I have. I can promise that it is completely spoiler free. It shows step-by-step what bow, grip, and materials I used for the first bow I ever beat the Elder One with. I consider the Masterwork slot generally up to player preference, but I'd strongly encourage the rest. This is all legit; I didn't obtain the mats from using CheatEngine or anything like that. Anyone can build it if they have the mats, but this is for late in the game.
I'll warn you now, it'll take a fair amount of dragon's bone and a Superior quality rune.