The thing is, with the red templars, not only is it personal for him, it's something he has to deal with as the commander of the Inquisition. It's an issue complicated by his history and his experiences and his responsibilities. If he's bitter, it's because so many people he used to know are throwing away any chance at bettering themselves to serve Corypheus. If he's resentful, it's because Samson was able to reach out to those people and bring them into his nowehere cause while Cullen could not AND Cullen saw his own men killed by those under Samson's command. If he's self-centered, it's because Samson is his foil, his "what could have been" and he needs to drive that demon away as surely as he needs to break free from the Chantry and the trappings of the order. He needs to do it for himself, and he needs to do it for the Inquisition.
And it's not as though he is completely unsympathetic- he feels a great deal of pity for those Samson led to corruption and death. If he can't forgive Samson himself, it's because he sees him as being far too complicit in the death and destruction caused by the red templars.
I think a big part of Cullen's behaviour during those scenes is born of fear about how easily that could've been him, and guilt at his own past behaviour whilst stationed in Kirkwall/Kinloch Hold after his torture. When Cullen gets scared he gets very rude, very vocal... and very self righteous, lol.
We all know what he's like, he'll blame himself for not trying hard enough or for not being vigilant enough to see the corruption coming etc. Plus, according to Hawke a lot of the Kirkwall templars turned to red lyrium and ran Hawke 'n' co out of the city (if you went pro-templar) so Cullen's bound to feel guilty for failing to stop those of his men that started huffing the red stuff (which clearly happened regardless of whether you went pro-mage or pro-templar). He also knows how close he came to becoming a complete zealot like Meredith, which he displays remorse for early on in the game.
We also need to take into account that Samson serves as Cullen's "evil" counterpart, Samson is Coyrpheus' Commander in the same way that Cullen is the Inquisition's Commander, and what's worse is that he knows the man personally and used to share a room with him! Samson knows Cullen's achilles heel, or at least Cullen thinks he does. To him it's like looking in the mirror and seeing the man he very nearly became if things had turned out differently... and they very easily could have.
I wish Cullen had confided a little more in the Inquisitor throughout the whole fiasco, especially if romanced because the poor guy is clearly suffering (mostly in silence). I like to head canon that what we didn't see is all those times/nights where the Inquisitor held him close, soothed his nightmare fueled anxieties and calmed him when he was freaking out and going into obsessed mode as a result. I think by the time we do his nemesis quest and Samson's judgement she'd know Cullen's little tells and habits well enough to know that his anger etc surrounding the whole red templar/Samson situation is a direct result of him being terrified of all that happened and what almost came to pass.
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