Sincere apologies to the 99.9% of non-Amell/Surana shipping posters in this thread who either don't bring up their dislike of it at all, or don't bring up their dislike of it unless provoked by other ship hate. I feel like a broken record but I keep coming back here in the last few weeks and finding more of this.
Well yeah I was talking about some fans who just don't want to let it go and almost consider the IQ's romance with Cullen "not right"/"unofficial" because in their own headcanon he should have feelings forever ever for no other than their Amell of 10 years ago, blahblah.
I'll take you at your word that such people exist; I have literally never seen anyone say that, and I actively seek out that pairing whereas you avoid it. Everyone I know in fandom who made fanart / made fanfic / daydreamed of Cullen with their Warden also enjoyed his DA:I romance with the Inquisitor.* All most of us want is to be able to mention liking Cullen x mage!Warden around other Cullen fans without immediately hearing "eww power imbalance" or "I'm so glad she's gone in my continuity so Cullen's heart can belong only to Quizzy", and in my experience, that's not the case in most fan forums. (Even the
positivity week had a post that included a discussion of the poster's dislike of it.)
If you don't like it when you feel that people are slighting your ships, a good place to start is avoiding doing the same to them.
Based on how often you bring it up, I get the impression that it really bothers you on some visceral level. All I can offer is that it might help to look for the positive: if Cullen had treated the female mage warden the same way he treats the male mage warden (friendly, but nothing more), he wouldn't have prompted the huge fan response he did, meaning he might not have been so memorable to the writers that they wanted to include him in DA2. And if he hadn't been in DA2, he wouldn't be around for us to romance in DA:I.
And if anyone has ideas for how
I can stop being viscerally bothered by other people hating on it, I'm always open to PMs.
* I'd say I like them about equally and I refer to both as OTPs, which is probably misusing the term but whatever. I prefer him with my Inquisitor for a few practical reasons, and I identify more strongly with my Inquisitor, but all of the fanart and fanfic that lured me here to discuss Cullen had him either with the Warden or Hawke. I feel the need to mention that because I'm sincerely not sure whether I'm one of the people whose motives you're interpreting that way in your above post.