Dude if you're afraid of spiders, slaughtering them like a total badass in a video game should be freakin' therapeutic and awesome!! My advice (if you care
) is to go out and actively seek mediums like these that can help you indirectly deal with your phobia.
I have a mild phobia of mirrors (I say mild because it really depends on the day heh). Sometimes I get really paranoid a ghost will come out of it and claw my eyes out. It's stupid. It doesn't make sense. But yesterday I forced myself to re-watch an episode of a show that I think greatly contributed to instilling this fear in me back when I was a kid... and felt way better afterwards, because I had made this conscious effort to confront my fear.
Anyway at the end of the day Dragon Age is "dark fantasy," and it's SUPPOSED to be scary. I don't think accommodating people's phobias is really an option for devs.