257 réponses à ce sujet

[BronzTrooper]

 

When traveling with Zevran and Wynne, Zevran keeps trying to get into Wynne's blouse - he seems to have a big obsession with her breasts.

Wynne: Have you changed your mind yet? Are you willing to speak seriously?
Zevran: Of your bosom? As you wish.
Wynne: (exasperated) No, I do not wish to speak of my bosom.
Zevran: But it is a marvellous bosom! I have seen women half your age who have not held up half so well. Perhaps it is a magical bosom?
Wynne: Stop... talking about my bosom.
Zevran: But I thought you wished to speak seriously?

 

 

I can't get enough of Zevran and Wynne's banter.    This is probably one of my favorites.

[The Qun & the Damned]

This one:

 

Sebastian: What do the Dalish teach about the creation of the Darkspawn? I mean the Chant of Light says that it is the hubris of magisters trying to compete with the Maker. But you don't believe in the Chant of Light... or the Maker. What do you believe?

 

Merrill: Well, we don't get into many details but we're pretty sure it's the humans fault.

[BronzTrooper]

Outside Howe's estate...

 

Guard #1: "Should we call for help?"

 

Guard #2: "Did you fall off a cart full of stupid?"

 

 lol

[BronzTrooper]

This one:

 

Sebastian: What do the Dalish teach about the creation of the Darkspawn? I mean the Chant of Light says that it is the hubris of magisters trying to compete with the Maker. But you don't believe in the Chant of Light... or the Maker. What do you believe?

 

Merrill: Well, we don't get into many details but we're pretty sure it's the humans fault.

 

It's funny how right she actually is.  

[lil yonce]

• Anders: I always thought it would be fun to be a pirate.
• Isabela: More fun than being a moody possessed vagrant in the sewers? You don't say...

I love Isabela. 

[thats1evildude]

Loghain: You have my sympathies on what happened to your order. It is unfortunate that they chose to turn against Ferelden.

Warden: I don't accept the sympathies of deserters and regicides.

[Iron Star]

• Shale: I have never heard of such a thing called a Qunari.
• Sten: Then you have not been listening. We did not row to shore last year, we have been about for centuries.
• Shale: I have listened. I have done little else, in fact, and yet I do not remember anyone mentioning such a Qunari in all my years in the village.
• Sten: Relying on humans as a source of education is a fool's errand.
• Shale: They are rather ignorant, aren't they? And feeble. At the best of times.
• Sten: We have creatures on Par Vollen that are similar. The humans call them "monkeys". They are dull, cowardly vermin. They cry out shrilly when threatened and throw their own feces.
• Shale: That is an excellent comparison. I wonder if they are related?
• Sten: Possibly.

 

Cracks me up every time.

[Hanako Ikezawa]

Sten: Dwarf.

Oghren: What?

Sten: Stop tripping me.

Oghren: Stop tripping yourself!

Sten: If you were significant enough to notice, I wouldn't step on you.

Oghren: Oh, well... your mother!

Sten: That was disappointing. I expected better from you.

Oghren: Sorry, I was in a rush.

Now I want to have Sten and Oghren in my party next playthrough just to here this. 

[ManchesterUnitedFan1]

Aveline to Isabela:

 

'We both put ourselves above others, Isabela. I just happen to do it clothed.'

 

 

ooooooOOOOOOOohhhhhhhh

[ManchesterUnitedFan1]

Morrigan: Have care where your eyes linger, Alistair.
Alistair: Yes, well, don't worry, it's not what you think.
Morrigan: I see.
Alistair: I was looking at your nose.
Morrigan: And what is it about my nose that captivates you so?
Alistair: I was just thinking it looks exactly like your mother's.
Morrigan: I hate you soooo much.
Alistair: Hm? Wha?
Morrigan: Nevermind.

 

Claudia's delivery in her 'I hate you so much' line is impeccable.

[elyu]

Enemy: "He killed Mekel."
Hawke: "What's a Mekel?"
Enemy: "He was my brother, you bastard!"

The sickest burn in the history of Thedas. I can't even think about this without laughing!

[Fredward]

hi, if there are any kids who don't know what they stand for, she meant arses, bitches and then cunts, respectively. The humour is in this character Aveline's reluctance to humour her joke, resulting in an escalation of the endearing profanities she uses to describe the Aveline character
 

 

What dark sorcery did you employ to not get these censored?

[Rogue Roxy]

Sorry. While these are all good, the most epic burn in the game has to be Andraste. No competition.

[Iron Star]

Sorry. While these are all good, the most epic burn in the game has to be Andraste. No competition.

Speaking of Andraste, when you find her ashes and Sten says "Congratulations, you found a waste-bin" ranks pretty high for me aswell.

[ReallyRue]

Merrill: You're in love!

Fenris: I am not.

Merrill: Everytime s/he looks away, you stare at Hawke with those sad puppy eyes.

Fenris: There are no puppy eyes.

Merrill: It's alright you know. Even you can be happy once in a while, it won't kill you. But your face might crack if you smile, so be careful.

[The Qun & the Damned]

Merrill: You're in love!

Fenris: I am not.

Merrill: Everytime s/he looks away, you stare at Hawke with those sad puppy eyes.

Fenris: There are no puppy eyes.

Merrill: It's alright you know. Even you can be happy once in a while, it won't kill you. But your face might crack if you smile, so be careful.

I swear, Merrill burns a mofo quicker than she could set them on fire

[Hellion Rex]

    Sebastian: Have you heard the Chant of Light?
    Merrill: That's the song they sing at the Chantry, right? It's pretty... but a little repetitive.
    Sebastian: Then you know the story? How Andraste became the Maker's divine bride and convinced Him to offer us a second chance?
    Merrill: Right. But I never understood why she had to die.
    Sebastian: Her mortal husband betrayed her out of jealousy.
    Merrill: But if He wanted her to spread her faith, couldn't she do that better alive?
    Sebastian: The Maker gave us free will. By his betrayal, Maferath showed us that men were not yet worth saving.
    Merrill: I don't know. It's a nice story, but I think it's got some holes.

[Hellion Rex]

Merrill: If your city was stolen, why didn't you just call the guards?
    Sebastian: I'm afraid the matter can't be handled by guards, Merrill.
    Merrill: Aveline could help you! She's very good at making thieves give things back. I think it's because she's so tall.
    Sebastian: This is beyond even Aveline's power, I'm sorry to say.
    Merrill: Are you sure? Have you seen her hit people?

(If Aveline is in the party)

    Aveline: I can hear every word you're saying!

[wolfsite]

Hawke:  Look at these guards, I don't think either of them have to worry about having "Pretty children".

[Hellion Rex]

If you can't tell already, I can't get enough of Merrill's banter.

 

 

Merrill: I've never met a dwarf before.
    Varric: That's because you spend too much time frolicking in the woods, Daisy. Dwarves don't frolic.
    Merrill: Dalish don't really frolic, either. Not in the woods anyway.
    Varric: You have sanctioned frolicking areas?
    Merrill: No, just not in the woods. The trees get jealous.
    Varric: But you do frolic?
    Merrill: Of course we do! We wouldn't be elves, otherwise.

[The Qun & the Damned]

• Varric: You know, Choir Boy, I wouldn't normally say this, but—the shiny white armor? It works for you.
• Sebastian: That's uncharacteristically kind of you, Varric.
• Varric: Makes you look like a lacquered pilot whale.
• Sebastian: Ah, now that was much more in-character.

[Hellion Rex]

Varric: So, I've known you for three years now. I give up. You beat me. What is it?
    Varric: You like boys? Sheep? You slept with your sister?
    Sebastian: What are you talking about?
    Varric: What are you hiding? Nobody's this bloody clean.
    Varric: After you leave the chantry you... get drunk at the Hanged Man and walk around in women's clothes?

(If Isabela is in the party)

    Isabela: Not that I've seen. Unfortunately.
    Sebastian: I've been honest with you and Hawke.
    Varric: Liar.
    Sebastian: Lying is a sin.

[Iron Star]

I swear, when I first got the Sebastian DLC I really wanted to like him, but holy crap is that guy a boring, uptight ******. At least his armor looked good.

[BronzTrooper]

I swear, when I first got the Sebastian DLC I really wanted to like him, but holy crap is that guy a boring, uptight ******. At least his armor looked good.

 

Sebastian: * wears Andraste's face for a crotch-plate *  

[Iron Star]

Sebastian: * wears Andraste's face for a crotch-plate *  

Yeah, except that.