Yeah, I agree with this point. I like how, in ME 3, your LI can comment on events that are happening throughout. Plus, to me at least, the romances that paced by the devs allow a little more variety and depth. I'm thinking about the ME 3/DA 2 romances, where you see the relationship change over the course of the game's events, versus the DA: O romance, where you could reach "the end" of the romance in the first or second dialogue with a character. I get the argument for having the ability to pace it yourself, but I personally like it paced for me. It also gives me something to look forward to as I progress through the game.
The DAO part is exaggerated. For Alistair to even reach the point of the first romance dialogue (which is triggered automatically when clicking on him) you have to do several dialogues, and he need a high approval to sleep with the Warden. For reaching the end romance dialogue with Morrigan you have to complete her personal quest. You have to make several dialogues with Leliana to trigger the romance (and possibly trigger the Marjolane dialogue at camp). Zevran needs a bit of dialogue to reach a romance dialogue that is triggered in the same way as Alistair.
Even if for the end of the romance someone might mean sex, only Morrigan and Zevran's scenes (possibly, for Zevran I recall that I had to do several dialogues. Not sure on Morrigan since I do a lot of dialogue on Lothering before reaching the camp) can be triggered quickly.