But you could flirt with them before their personal quests, and they would aways be over you when you did that. You can actually flirt with all of them when you first meet them, and they aways responded with interest. They barely know you and yet is all sunshine and butteflies.
And as for Origins, you can easily start an romance with the companions even if they are barely neutral just by selecting the right line. I got ninjamanced by Zevran just because I didn't wanted to be rude. They are too easy to impress and persuade. So you can romance any of them before their quests, they are just required for the culmination of the romance.
You got a slight reciprocation (and honestly Merrill completely ignored my Hawke hitting on her so much I thought I messed up til she came to the Manor). Also it's hardly all sunshine and butterflies admitting a physical attraction. Anders is blatant about his attraction to Hawke from the beginning, Fenris is drunk when you hit on him (the romance starter dialogue at least you can flirt before that but it won't initiate the romance til this conversation) and of course he'd be more open to being flirty then, Isabela is Isabela and I already mentioned Merrill.
True you could start a relationship. That's the same point where they don't even bother getting jealous for you doing the same to other companions. You could call it flirting and get the same result. As for being ninjamanced by Zevran how exactly? He's pretty blunt and I recall having a out that was a bit clumsy but still got my point across.
And considering I find the romance as a whole to be the romance and not just the start it starting with some consensual flirting is ideal to me.
Edited for my point to be clearer.
Now I'm fine with friends to lovers fine. But the cold aloof partner that's not interested with the other constantly working to get their attention because that's how you get people to be attracted to you makes me wanna gag.
I've played the game 5 times and still didn't know I could do any of this. My experience with bioware games has tended to be that if I don't pick a dialog option when I'm given the chance, I won't get that chance ever again. Maybe if they changed how they presented "camp dialog" that would be different. For instance, in DA:O, pretty much every time I click a companion to speak to them, I have the option to tell them to leave. If you always had an option to "tell someone what they mean to you," maybe I wouldn't feel like if I don't take the flirt options when they come up, I won't ever get to.
Yeah that's not the case at all in DAO. As long as you don't reject them you're good. There's romance starter dialogue sprinkled in most of the dialogue in game. The real cutoff point seems to be the final friendship dialogue you get.