2475 réponses à ce sujet

[dzejkob]

Garrus: All right my turn. What's the first order an Alliance Commander gives at the start of combat? 
Joker: Uh, I give up. 
Garrus: Correct! 
Joker: All right big guy. What do you call it when a turian gets killed by a horrible spiky monster. 
Garrus: Friendly fire. Come on that one goes back to Shan-Xi. 
Joker:  Gotta respect the classics. 
Garrus: How many humans does it to activate a dormant relay? 
Joker:  602, 600 to vote on it, one to ask the Asari for technical help and one to ask for a seat on the counsel afterwards. How do you know when a turian is out of ammo? 
Garrus: He switches to the stick up his ass as a backup weapon. Why does the Alliance hire pilots with brittle bone disease? 
Joker:  You're shitting me! The turian military has one about me? 
Garrus: Oh, absolutely. I heard it myself from a private back on Palaven. 
Joker:  All right why does the Alliance hire pilots with brittle bone disease? 
Garrus: So their marines can beat someone in hand-to-hand drills. 
Joker:  Damn, you need to tell James that one. Hey what's the hardest part about treating a turian who took a rocket to one side of his face? 
Garrus: Figuring out which side took the hit.

 

i couldn't stop laughing for solid 10 min, best convo ever. Although citadel DLC had loads of witty banter as well

(also someone very likely already posted this but meh 98 pages is a lot to check) 

[IndianaJonesYay]

Peppy the Pyjak clearly made of flammable material...

[Winterking]

"She is surrounded by Geth and pointing a gun at us! Shoot her!"

 

"I'm gonna kill your hostage, Vasir. And then I'm gonna show you how a real Spectre gets things done."

[Ascari]

I love some of Shepard's lines

 

"(S)he said 'I should go'. Do I sound like that?"

 

"You know what Blasto? I think you're a big..... stupid... jellyfish."

 

"I'll cut your balls off and sell them to a krogan!"

 

"What am I doing here? What are you doing here? Do you have any idea how dangerous it is here? Get out of here now! Before it blows! Run!"

[gottaloveme]

I love some of Shepard's lines

 

"(S)he said 'I should go'. Do I sound like that?"

 

"You know what Blasto? I think you're a big..... stupid... jellyfish."

 

"I'll cut your balls off and sell them to a krogan!"

 

"What am I doing here? What are you doing here? Do you have any idea how dangerous it is here? Get out of here now! Before it blows! Run!"

 

What bit was the last line from?

 

@ IndiannaJonesYay - Peppy the Pyjak? Huh? Or was that the pykak you can punch on Tuchanka?

[Flaine1996]

What bit was the last line from?

 

@ IndiannaJonesYay - Peppy the Pyjak? Huh? Or was that the pykak you can punch on Tuchanka?

I think it is during thanes loyalty mission in ME2 if you dont take the renegade interrupt when talking to the storage guy and you choose instead the renegade line...

[birefringent]

What bit was the last line from?

...

https://youtu.be/ac_Qg0BM26c?t=1m18s

[IndianaJonesYay]

Peppy the Pyjak is from the datapad Mordin leaves you when you wake up after the party on the Citadel DLC. It's one of his entertaining stories. Peppy the Pyjak was a puppet from his kid-oriented science show. The whole sequence is pretty doggone funny; a varren tries to attack Peppy, then the varren instead tries to mate with Peppy, so Mordin tells the puppeteer to hold still while he applies neural shock, and then he says, "Peppy the Pyjak clearly made of flammable material." He also has a cool little James Cagney-like sequence about his adventures on Omega.

 

Edit: Apparently, it's Perry, not Peppy. Sorry! 

[fraggle]

Giving away Schells's cheating device in ME1

Schells: But that was years of work! What am I gonna do now?

Kaidan: Get a job.

 

[IndianaJonesYay]

Salarian scientist: Protocol states during lockdown no specimen--

 

*Zzzt!*

 

Mordin: Objection noted. Now, please release krogan.

 

(Whoever came up with Mordin's style of speech, with his rarely using articles and even pronouns and linking verbs, was brilliant. Awesome character!)

[fraggle]

After James had some bad luck playing poker on the Citadel, it gets better

 

James: "Look at me now."

Shepard: "Doing better?"

James: "Did you ever doubt me? Don't answer that."

[fraggle]

On Noveria, Shepard gives Opold's package to Inamorda directly, picking the Renegade option to get more money:

Shepard: "If you want to see more of the package than me beating you with it, make a serious offer."

Inamorda: "Hrr. I could snap your neck before you pull a weapon. But I like your negotiation skills. Reminds me of my father."

[von uber]

"Clean"
"It's a plant"

[birefringent]

Kargesh: Do you think we could get into the Presidium if we went along the outer hull? In pressure suits?

Rukar: What, to kill turians? We can do that here.

Kargesh: No, to get a fish out of those lakes.

[Vixzer]

This is so funny I redone this scenes at least twice every play-through:

 

Niftu Cal: I am a biotic god, I think things and they happen! Fear me, lesser creatures, for I am biotics made flesh!

Commander Shepard: I don't know what drugs you're on, but stay back and I won't shoot you.

Niftu Cal: You will regret your scandalous words! I am a great wind that will sweep all before me like a... a great wind! A great biotic wind! Yes, the asari injecting so many drugs into me was terrifying, But then I began to smell my greatness! They may laugh when I fall over, but they don't know what I know in my head... that I know that I am amazingly powerful! Fear me.

Commander Shepard: Are you part of Pitne For's trade group?

Niftu Cal: When I was mortal, I worked for Pitne. The poor soul is probably terrified that I have not returned.

Jack: He didn't say anything about you going missing. Didn't want to get stuck here.

 

Niftu Cal: Bah! I will wreak a just revenge upon his people! But first, the leader of these mercenaries is in the next room. I shall toss Wasea about like a rag doll!

 

Jack: Fifteen creds says the little guy doesn't make it five steps in before the merc explodes him.

Niftu Cal: I will tear her apart! My biotics are unstoppable!

Commander Shepard: Charge.

Niftu Cal: An ill wind blows upon Wasea, captain of the Eclipse sisters! After me!

[Niftu Cal runs in and is immediately killed by Wasea

Jack: That was mean. But damn funny.

 

 

While I love the dialogue of ME1 and 3 (Citadel DLC etc), I think BioWare outdone themselves with the dialogue of  Mass Effect 2, really... it is amazing

[Undead Han]

I think the exchange where Shepard pushes over Niftu Cal rather than sending him to his death was funnier. 

 

Niftu Cal: But...great wind! Biotic god! I'm...I...what was I saying? I'm tired.

 

Niftu Cal: You..may be right. Yes, I'm tired. I'll nap. Destroy the universe later....

[iM3GTR]

"Here's a tip. Two eyes - Human. Four eyes - Batarian"

 

Eclipse merc: "I've got nothing more to say to you."

Shepard: "How 'bout goodbye?"

 

Gianna Parasini: "You can't bludgeon through bureaucracy, commander."

Shepard: "I can bludgeon pretty hard."

 

Shepard (Looks at Thorian): "We are going to need bigger guns."

 

Joker: "Hey, Shepard. Glad you're back. But keep an eye on that last one. We can only hold so much crazy."

"Oh, another dangerous alien aboard, commander. Thanks. Why can't you collect coins or commemorative plates, or something?"

 

Legion: "Windows are structural weaknesses. Geth do not use them."

 

EDI: "I enjoy the sight of humans on their knees...That is a joke."

 

"I'm pissed off. And when I'm pissed off I shoot things. Find me more bugs."

 

"Because it's a big, stupid Jellyfish."

[RakhanaBby]

I have WAAAAAY too many faves to list here, but one of them's this:

(During the Citadel DLC infiltration after Team Mako and Team Kodiak have a fun argument)

Javik: This is Team Prothean here, and I have a higher body count than all of you combined!

[GDICanuck]

Shepard (Looks at Thorian): "We are going to need bigger guns."

I personally prefer "Nothing's ever simple, is it?" at that part. I love the whole, "Can this day possibly get any worse?" tone he has with that line.

[themikefest]

Shepard: You were Wrex's broodbrother. You two didn't agree on leadership?

Urdnot Wreav: We were born of the same female. But a decade apart. Wrex wanted to unite the clans. He wanted to deny tradition to stabilize our species

Gatatog Uvenk: He was a fool. Krogan only grow stronger if the weak die in battle. He would've made us smooth like the asari.

[aka.700]

Legion's lines always and
I don't remember the lines exactly but when I saw Zaeed trying to speak with Samara in front of a painting I laughed so much at the things he said to her. I never expected it until then

"Here's a tip. Two eyes - Human. Four eyes - Batarian"


"I'm pissed off. And when I'm pissed off I shoot things. Find me more bugs."

Whose lines are these? I never heard of them

[Bowlcuts]

"Human history is a litany of blood, shed over differing ideals of rulership and afterlife. If this is the individuality you value, we question your judgement."

- Legion

[Ieldra]

"Their sacrifice will be honored in the coming empire".

 

"Stand in the ashes of a trillion dead souls and ask the ghosts if honor matters. The silence is your answer."

[Zikade]

Many, many great lines in the series but I just suddenly remembered this:

 

Tali: "So you're a real living Prothean?"

Javik: "As opposed to a fake dead one?"

*uncomfortable silence*

Tali: "Uh.... okay."

[KrrKs]

Whose lines are these? I never heard of them

 

AFAIK both are (renegade) Shepard lines. The first one is from BDTS, when shot by the chief engineer after shutting down the first fusion torch.

I can't quite place the second one, I think I heard a similar line during the DCS mission, but I'm not sure.