That isn't cool, but I don't think it had anything to do with gender or "spousal abuse". It's more about their standing (mage and Seeker... with the Seeker having many hangups and an aggressive personality).
Right, but what's worse is that Regalyan apparently totally digs it, and makes a filrty quip when they're rolling around on the grass. And then afterwards, it's heavily implied that they will start a relationship, and the film is just totally okay with this.
And what's worse than that, is that based on her behaviour in DA2, and now in the DA:I trailer, she still hasn't learned her lesson, continuing to stab first and ask questions never. She was pretty much unbearable in Dawn of the Seeker, and I'm not super stoked about having her in my party (as a romance option no less), when she pulls the exact same shtick on the protagonist.
And what's worse than that is that, in Asunder, basically the exact same thing happens between Rhys and Evangeline, only she does worse to him when she has less of a reason to be suspicious. And he still has no qualms about getting into a relationship with her.
The overall vibe that I'm getting is that irrational violence makes men creepy, but makes women "strong and independent", even when those women are already in positions of power over those men. Positions that they could easily abuse.
If the gender roles were reversed in these situations, people would see them for what they are. Hell, all Cullen did was admit to having a crush on a mage, and half the forum was ready to lynch him before he so much as laid a finger on her.