I'm not sure quite where I stand with all this. Certainly the balance between free speech and civility is always difficult to maintain, and I think Bioware is doing it's best to uphold both.
I have also seen some disgraceful things written in the forums - It seems to sometimes go like this: Someone starts a thread with a dubious topic (usually negative in sentiment), and this offends someone else, who out of loyalty to the company or a general inability to "suffer fools", proceeds to attack the OP or anyone who agrees with him/her either with ridicule or, more rarely, outright violent language. This is just one example, and by no means is it a one way street. Hence the prevalence of terms like "fanboy" and "troll" being thrown around with abandon.
There are also some extenuating circumstances that add to this:
-Bioware games have a much wider appeal than they used to, and therefore there is greater chance for conflict occuring. Age difference (and social experience) alone would be one such difference. When I started playing games 20 odd years ago, it was more likely that players were closer in age, had far fewer games to compare and so were less "spoilt". But then again forums like this one were either non-existant or in their infancy (dunno for sure as I didn't have the internet til much later). Now we have an age range of at least 40 years, and that can mean very different approaches to communication. Of course it's isn't simply age, but also drastic societal changes but that would require an even bigger essay

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-I don't want to make this a generational thing, but improvements in communication technology have had, imo, some negative consequences, particularly for young people. That is, from an early age, they can have a "social life" where face-to-face communication is actually exceeded by distant communication (mobile phones) and anonymous communication (in-game, forums etc). It is perhaps easier for someone older like myself to acknowledge the real person behind an anonymous post because I grew up in a completely different social environment. If I didn't choose my words carefully, I would face social repercussions or just a black eye (which thankfully never happened). Of course there are anti-social people over the age of 30 too.
-I only joined this forum after playing Dragon Age myself, though I've played and loved most Bioware games, and therefore don't know what it was like in the months leading up to the DA:O's release. But I can imagine that it was mostly positive/supportive in nature, with contributions on what to expect in the game, and things ppl would like to see. Sure there would have been some disagreement, but as it was all conjecture, there woud be less opportunity to take an emphatic stance. This changed, as was inevitable, when the game was released, because there is now something more concrete to argue about (e.g. quality and value of the game we have).
-There are many people who really just want to discuss the game's story and lore. E.G, is Alistair a nice guy? or was King Cailin (spelling?) a misguided fool or a hero betrayed? Personally, I'm not into those discussions very much myself; perhaps I'm just a bit jaded, or I don't find the story quite as compelling as others, I don't know. To me it's a great story for a game, but doesn't compare with my favorite novels, plays or poetry, and even those I discuss as fiction, not as though they were real events in a parallel universe. People who do see the game world in this way (which I am not belittling in anyway I hope) perhaps have a sense of ownership; that is, any topic which potentially brings them back to earth can be viewed as detrimental to their own "immersion".
Anyway, I hope that civil people don't simply abandon the forums, and rather contribute to them in a way that sets a good example, Of course, good examples can be and often are ignored, but that's no reason to give up. As a teacher myself, I know that it can be frustratingly slow at times to lead by example rather than just tell someone they are behaving badly, or complain about it to the boss, but in the end it is a much more valuable lesson imo. A thick skin is cerainly a pre-requisite.
Apologies for the length of this but I felt that to reach some kind of understanding of this state of affairs we need to move on from the initial, and justified, complaints. And please feel free to criticise my observations