This was a great conversation, and I enjoyed reading both sides of the argument.
One thing I haven't seen brought up is that, as someone playing a female elf mage, yes, I agree that we have to convince Alistair to do the DR, which is no fun, but I disagree that he is coerced or forced into it.
Almost all of the posts on the negative aspects of the DR seem to feel that Alistair is being forced to do something, or as if he has no ability to make the decision on his own. I disagree. To me, Alistair very clearly has free will. He asks my mage's opinion but within the scenario as presented, he certainly has the option to say no. My mage never insists that he do it. The game's technical use of the word 'coercion' at one point I think has more to do with the character's persuasive abilities, as far as I remember -- I definitely do not ever believe my character is actually making him or forcing him to do something. He asks her if she truly believes it is the right thing, and she gives her honest opinion. The fact that he says yes simply means that he trusts the Warden (whether romanced or friend) and will do it because the Warden truly believes it is necessary and will save their lives while still accomplishing the greater good of ending the Blight.
In my Warden's case, a female elf mage who romanced Alistair, I didn't want either of us to die, and beyond that, I felt that one lone Grey Warden remaining would pretty much doom the future of the Grey Wardens as a force for good in Ferelden. My character had also gotten the highest friendship/approval rating with Morrigan, as well, so she trusted her.
At this point in the story, Morrigan had tirelessly fought the darkspawn, had risked her life many times for the Warden's, had shown friendship toward my elf, and had even broken down in tears at one point over finding a 'sister.' Yes, Morrigan occasionally asked her to consider all the choices in a scenario (especially involving power), but I always took this as Morrigan's pragmatism versus true evil. I believed in Morrigan's genuine desire to help my character, and also wasn't necessarily scared of an 'Old One' child, as the game itself had shown us several 'old ones' who didn't seem to be evil, and who simply seemed to be elemental and part of the 'wild magic' of the world.
Did my character feel icky for having the conversation with Alistair? Yes, as it's not a nice thing to ask him to do, even if he has the option to refuse. And to echo others, I do think we female characters get the short end of the ethical stick here since we have no choice but to have to ask a male character to step in whether we like it or not. (I really really wished she could have done the ritual herself, frankly. Not least because Morrigan was her girlcrush and she would have done it willingly, although she would have felt conflicted about cheating on Alistair even so.)
I do think the great thing about the DR is that there are excellent arguments to be made for both sides. I was really impressed by DAO's consistent ability to offer scenarios with really tough choices like this throughout.