I use a ton of mods, but I'm not big on "cheating" mods either. Some of the ones I use are:
Extra Companions: Ser Gilmore NPC, Extra Dog Slot
Romance: Improved Romance Scenes-Alistair, Zevran Romance Scenes, ZevRing, Rendezvous at the Tavern, Dahlia Lynn's Royal Wedding, Zevran Open Wedding, Leliana Romance Scenes (still in development, but there are bits you can use)
Bug Fixes/Restored Scenes: Zevran Dialogue Fix, Morrigan Restoration Patch, Loghain Friendly Eligible (add-on to ZDF)
Armor (none of these are overpowered, in my opinion): Edriano Sentinel Armor, Labrynthian Robes, Shadow Wardens Armor, The Phoenix Armory, Armor of the Devout, Armor of the Sten (restricted to Sten)
Weapons (these can be a bit overpowered, but they are fun): Blood Mage Staff, Hawkeye Longbow & Shortbow
Extra Quests: Alley of Murders (it's not overly long, but fun)
Various: Character Respec, Zevran ASAP (get him right after Lothering), Camp Storage Chest, Sleep Until Dawn
I also use a lot of mods for the character creator and some morphs for companions/NPCs, but there are too many to list. Hope that helps. 