I'm going to take a risk and make myself vulnerable here – I'm someone who's often participated in discussions about inequality, representation, and inclusion in games, from a firm perspective that the status quo is not apolitical and that asking for characters like oneself to identify with in games isn't something that anyone should need to apologize for. And I admit that it's often left me feeling a lot of conflict.
On the one hand, I've often witnessed that the simple act of asking for characters like oneself in games can be all it takes for someone to be jumped on for being a "social justice warrior" with an axe to grind – and that sometimes makes me frustrated and angry. It frustrates me that some people can take for granted that they will be able to find people like themselves to identify with in games, while other people are in a position where they can't ask to be included without being told that they're spoiling the fun for other people by doing so, or derided as having a chip on their shoulder.
On the other hand, I have my own biases and my own comfort level when it comes to people expressing their frustration with this issue, and it does make me uncomfortable when I see people take the position "It's my duty to call out reactionary thinking about inclusion as loudly and obnoxiously as possible at every opportunity." I worry that stance can be counterproductive and alienate people, by contributing to a polarized atmosphere where people aren't very likely to admit to having doubts or conflicting feelings.
It's a double-edged sword, though, because I definitely don't think the answer is for people to be tirelessly forbearing, either – I think it's safe to say that change when it comes to this issue won't happen without people speaking up firmly to say "The way things are now isn't working for me and for a lot of people like me," and "I have a history of experiences of being dismissed when it comes to this issue, and I'm tired of being ignored."
I'll openly admit that I often feel cognitive dissonance when I think back to times I've challenged people about issues of representation and inequality, because I know that my ego has sometimes led to situations where, instead of listening to people to understand, I was listening to reply – and felt crummy about it afterwards. I think all one can really do about situations like that is to try to learn from it without beating oneself up too much, and try to do better in the future.
There's a lot more I could say, but I should probably save that for another post to avoid wall-of-text-itis! 