1."Big dumb hammer" Its dumb because you'tr under the impression that its a clumsy weapon? How is it easy to get behind the head of the weapon? Nothing gives that impression let alone with Sten swinging it. I think you also missed the part where Shale is not small or fast by any means, to say its as simple as "getting behind the head" is just exaggerating her reflexes .
Because, in purely realistic terms, that's exactly what it is. Hefty and unbalanced. Its length, and the time spent gearing up for a strike are all factors that make it easier to get behind its optimal range. If he tries to mitigate this by grasping it closer to the head then it means he won't be striking with as much power.
2.Grabbing a moving hammer is never a good idea, if im made of stone, the last thing i want to do is attempt to catch a moving maul from a seasoned warrior.
Why would one try and grab it by the head? Start closing the distance when he lifts it up to strike. If she's too close then he'll either strike her with the pole (which will do **** all) or he'll have to withdraw to gain more space. Or he can change his grip like I said above, but that hurts his ability to make a lethal blow. A seasoned warrior like Stenishok would not even waste time trying to fight a golem one-on-one in this format.
3. Where is this notion coming from that he's slow? WHere has it been shown or said that he is slow? You say "**** off" yet nothing supports this claim and you act as if its so hard to believe that something made of flesh and bone is significantly faster than something purely made of rock, that has been shown to be clumsily slow.
Where did I say he was slow? When I say he's "not that fast", I mean he's not fast enough to be able to make a non-lethal strike (or at least a strike that doesn't stagger her) and recover before she can grab the weapon in retaliation.
4."Why would she waste time swinging"....because thats her only means of attack?!!? She only punches things so of course its logical to assume that she's going to try to punch him
That's just daft. She's got two arms, two legs, and weighs as much as a car. Considering the conditions of the battle, and her own girth, grappling would be a much more reliable and effective option than punching.
5. You imply grabbing is an easy thing to do, just charging at someone trying to grab them is hard enough when its two average human being let alone trying to do it being as slow as she is against someone who isnt hindered in that way at all. Armor does not slow your movements down, it fatigues you therefore hindering your performance, but this is a fresh fight so it wont be a factor.
Saying "Armor does not slow you down" is as much hyperbole as "you can't jog/sprint/roll/do x in armor". Of course, given that Stenishok is wearing Qunari-style armor any hindrance to his mobility is probably undetectable.
The big dumb hammer is another matter.