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[teh DRUMPf!!]

 Alistair: *whines about something I did/said to someone*

me: whatever, kid.

 

Morrigan: I would have saved the king instead.

me: smart woman!

 

Dog: *Happy bark!*

me: Doggy! *rubs tummy*

 

Sten: I murdered an entire family, including the children.

me: Oh, I see. Let's take this guy along with us.

 

Leliana: Don't kill these men, they've surrendered!!

me: lol no. Say them a final prayer, sister!

*Leliana literally prays for them*

me: uh, right. Okay then. *kills the men*

Leliana: Alright so I'm joining you now. The Maker gave me a vision of it!

me: wat?? No. You're nuts!

Leliana: But I reallllly want to fight Darkspawnnnn!!!

me: Uh, okay. You really want to do this, and are easy on the eyes. That's worth a chance, I guess.

 

*back at camp*

 

Leliana: So I'm not really some innocent cloister sister. I'm a spy and assassin agent.

me: I KNEW IT!!

 

Zevran: Wait! I can pick locks.

*decidedly terrible at lockpicking*

me: -.-

 

Shale: *stomps pigeon*

*shrugs*

me: ...

 

Oghren: eh, sod off and sod your mother too!

me: oh, great, well **** you too, buddy.

(later)

Oghren: Hey, wait! I can help you get through the Deep Roads.

me: um, let's see here; my options are [yes] and [okay]. So... okay.

 

Loghain: "There's nothing I wouldn't do for my homeland!!"

me: there, that's the guy I want on my team!

*fast-forward to camp*

Loghain: Well, this is unexpected.

me: YUP!

[TEWR]

Alistair: Duncan's gone... He's gone.

Me: I know. I liked him too lad. (thinking to self "But by the Paragons I'm not holding Loghain accountable like you are, you daft ******. Even I could see Duncan was no saint)

 

Morrigan: I would've saved your king!

Me: Well, that's definitely the smart call, though I'd be dead so... I agree and don't agree?

(later)

Morrigan: There is a ritual that could save your life. Well, it will. Flemeth told me it's certain to do it. Please, do this. I could not bear the thought of you... caring was not something I was supposed to do.

Me: Eh, why the hell not? I've already sanctioned blood magic among our group and I've done the Joining, which is the same thing in the end. What's a Dwarf got to lose?

 

Sten: I murdered an entire family at a farmhold, then waited for several days for the Templars to arrive.

Me: Well that's a bit ruthless, though he waited for the authorities so he's not a thoroughbred bastard. And without a weapon even.

Sten:....

Me: ....welcome aboard! We've got weapons, armor, some stale bread and slightly moldy cheese, and a place for you by the fire! You'll be a great asset in fighting the Blight!

 

(later)

 

Sten:....

Me:......

Sten:....

Me:......

Sten:...yes?

Me: You know, you're a good guy Sten.

Sten: You only notice this now?

Me: Oh no, I've known for a while. But there's more to you then meets the eye.

Sten: Of course there is. You only come up to my stomach after all.

Me: Yeah yeah wise guy. Anyway, want some more brew from Orzammar?

Sten: I'd prefer not.

Me: Don't worry! I made sure it was made with grain and not fungi and rocks as usual!

 

Zevran: I'm an assassin hired by Loghain to kill you.

Me: I'm actually flattered that I merit a visit by an assassin in surface lands.

Zevran: If you don't kill me I can be of use!

Me: I've befriended a few people back in Orzammar who tried to have me killed. An assassin's no different. Welcome aboard!

 

Wynne: I do not approve of you and Morrigan

Me: Funny, I don't remember asking nor needing your approval.

Wynne: That was wrong of me to say. I'm sorry.

Me: No harm, no foul. Though honestly, you don't know half as much as you think you do when it comes to politics and war. But you're still a good person. Wise in some respects.

 

Dog: Bark bark!

Me: Bark bark bark!

Dog: Bark!

Me: Bark bark, bark bark bark!

 

Oghren: Ah sod it all I'm a failure.

Me: Oghren, if you were a failure you wouldn't be here now. You'd have taken your life. Yet you live still, so you've got something worth fighting for to you. You're a fearless warrior of the Deep Roads and you know you've been a poor husband, but you still fight on. And I think it's for love of homeland and I've got no doubt that you are better then you think you are.

 

Leliana: Don't kill these men!

Me: Wasn't going to. You men take a message to Loghain. We know what happened at Ostagar. This is not something he needs to do. I'm not blind to how that damned battle played out like Cailan was.

Leliana: I'm coming with you. The Maker granted me visions!

Me: Maker, schmaker... I don't buy into that hooplah. Come along if you like. Just no funny business.

 

Shale: stomps chicken

Me: Whatever. Weird ass golem.

(later)

Shale: I'm a Dwarf, a creature of flesh?

Me: Were one, but otherwise yes.

Shale: Is the Anvil still around.

Me: It's too great an asset to just leave to the Darkspawn, much less destroy.

Shale: Good.

Me: Indeed. Us fleshbags can't do much without Golems now can we?

Shale: Quite right. It is good that it sees this.

Me: Mother always told me I was smarter then the average deepstalker. I suppose I'm living up to her dreams, having a Golem for a friend.

 

Loghain: I passed your test. Fate's a curious thing. What do you have in store for me?

Me: Well, being a Warden after everything you've lived through is gonna be a hard life, but you're not a monster like others see you as. Nah, we'll be brothers-in-arms. Friends too, if fortune favors us in these next few battles.

 

My Dwarf Noble got along with most people. He's a good leader of men.

[knightlyEnigma]

My human noble templar/reaver combo

Alistair: "Duncan died and I'm sad lets go kill Loghain without even conssidering his point of veiw because this is all his fault."
Me: "ye um sorry your dude died. My entire family was slaughtered."
Alistair: "Thats cool oh hey could you go save those people if you **** up its a minus twenty to my approval."
Me: ". . . You're lucky you're funny"

Morrigan: "Ima go ahead and say anything good is stupid because i have some severe psychological problems because my mom is something even worse than an abomination."
Me: "Oh, well you'r-"
Morrigan: "Do I look like a sex object to you?!"
Me: "Wha-"
Morrigan: "Im not gonna sleep with you just cuz."
Me: "Where did that eve-"
Morrigan: "youre cute"
Me: ". . . . . . well then."

Dog: *barks*
Me: *pets*
Dog: (im secretly satan)

Liliana: "dont kill those guys"
Me: "S'cuse me?"
Liliana: "Maker said im going with you."
Me: "Oh, you're insane. That explains a lot."
Liliana: "mkay ill be at the camp not lockpicking things."

Sten: "I killed a family because I lost my sword."
Me: "Why the hell not, come on."

Wynne: "Take one more step and ill murder your ass."
Me: "Wha-"
Wynne: "YOU WONT KILL THE MAGES DAMMIT!"
Me: "I just wanna ta-"
Wynne: "Do you have the right of annulment?"
Me: "um, no."
Wynne: "Mkay lets go kill demons and stuff while i criticize you for having emotions and logic."
Me: "What the hell is wrong with these mages."
Wynne: "Oh and break up with Morrigan, youre not allowed to love."
Me: "Tough ****."

Zevran: "I tried to kill you but you're going to take me along anyways aren't you?"
Me: ". . . . . Yes."
Zevran: "Lets screw"
Me: "No. I may not mind the gender difference but im taken sorry bro."

Oghren: "I get drunk a lot."
Me: "You're funny and dont whine all that much lets go help your ex turn your people into living statues."

Loghain: "Fuckin' Orlesians."
Me: "Fuckin' Orlesians."
Loghain: "I like you, marry my daughter."
Me: "m'kay."

EDIT (since everyone else seems to be doing some NPCS. . .)

Duncan: "Hi I'm a grey warden and your dad wont let you join"
Me: "well ****."
*later*
Me: "Dont die daddy!"
Bryce: "i love you"
Duncan: "Ill save your kid and wife if I can **** up his life."
Bryce: "M'kay"
Me: "Wait what NO I NEED TO PROTECT HIM!"
Elanor: "No hunny thats why im staying behind, we're both gonna die :D"
Me: "WHAT? NO COME ON!"
Duncan: "we gotta go bro."
Me: "No."
Duncan: "yes."
Me: "no."
Duncan: "sucks to suck i invoke the rite of conscription."
Me: "You little ******."

Cauthrian: "Dont hurt Loghain you little ****."
Me: y u no romance
Morrigan: "what was that."
Me: "Nothing!"
Cauthrian: ". . . okay hes not fighting lets take em to jail."

Anora: *wearing guards armor*
Me: "aren't you a little short to be a guard?"
Anora: "Haha. Funny."
Me: "I think I wanna marry you."
Anora: "ye okay."
Morrigan: "What.The Actual.****."
Me: "You're gonna leave me anyways."
Morrigan: "Tru."

[Jaison1986]

Alistair: Don't you love being an Grey warden? Early deaths, nightmares, dying on the deep roads.Aren't you thankful to Duncan?

Me: ....

 

Morrigan: I would rescue your king, he would make an fine ramson.

Me: I happen to be nobility you know...

Morrigan: I stand corrected.

Me:  

 

Dog: Long sad whine

Me: Fine, have my meal. I swear, he is more persuasive then me.

 

Leliana: So, I'm not actually an nun, but an run away spy with shady past.

Me: Tell me about it, next moment Alistair will be telling me he is the son of the king or something...

 

Sten: Why are we stoping?

Me: Never mind, let's just keep going.

 

Wynne: *Makes long speech about how you literally must live up to legends and lecture you about Grey warden duties when she haves little knowledge about them in the first place*

Me: *Shifty eyes* You're lucky you are an spirit healer, otherwise, I swear...

 

Zevran: Recruit me, I can pick locks and use poinson, I'm multi use

Me: Alright, sound like a deal

Me: *checks Zevran abilities on the menu* You liar!!!

 

Shale: You are an human and I find you pathetic by principle, let's go.

Me: Well, I made worse deals.

 

Oghren: *burp* I don't care about silly moralities and politics, I only like to drink and to fight.

Me: Welcome abord!

 

Loghain: You spared me. That was quite merciful.

Me: Just you wait untill I explain you the full package >:3

[teh DRUMPf!!]

 Oof, I forgot Wynne.

 

Wynne: Let's save this Circle together!

me: Sure. Strength in numbers, right? And Morrigan's magic is useful, so more mages could help in this Bli--

Morrigan: No! Let this preachy school mistress and the other pathetic mages die.

me: Hm. Wasn't expecting that. Well, if my companion who knows this much about magic doesn't think saving mages is worth it, then maybe it's not, so ... okay, Morrigan.

Wynne: Kill the apostate!

me: Well that about seals the deal.

[Ajadea]

Elf Arcane Warrior/Blood Mage

 

Duncan: "You're a Grey Warden now."

Me: "Nope nope nope, not leaving the Circle. Have you seen how they treat elves out there?"

Greagoir: "I will investigate this matter, Irving. You say he helped you, but I don't trust him."

Me: "crap, angry templar...So, Grey Wardens, huh? Let's go! Quickly, please."

 

Alistair: "Duncan's dead! We must kill Loghain!"

Me: "...yeah, I do get it, actually. I did pretty much the same thing against Uldred. It's just your guy is still alive."

(later)

Alistair: "You're sparing Loghain?!"

Me: "I'm gonna annihilate his soul. That's not exactly mercy so much as a delayed execution."

Alistair: "Don't care, screw you, I'm leaving!"

Me. "...okay, to be fair, I should have seen that one coming."

 

Morrigan: "I believe good actions are foolish because my mother was a horrible person. You should do stupidly evil things because strength."

Me: "You're just lucky I'm the pragmatic sort of Grey Warden. Unlike our resident prince."

(Later)

Morrigan: "I have this sketchy ritual my mom gave me, so no one has to die!"

Me: "No, I want Loghain to die. That was the point. _{otherwise, Alistair left for nothing....} Also, I wouldn't trust anything your mom gave out, ever."

Morrigan: "But what if they fail? It still could be you. Besides, think of what your elf would say..."

Me: "...Fine. I'm already a maleficar anyway."

 

Dog: "Woof!"

Me: "Puppy!"

 

Sten: "I murdered an entire family for my sword."

Me: "And you've been in that cage how long?"

Sten: "Three weeks. Without food or water."

Me: "....Sod. No one deserves that. Come on, let's go bribe a Revered Mother."

 

Leliana: "The Maker told me to come with you!"

Me: "Right... a crazy Chantry sister. How about no?"

Leliana: "I'm gonna follow you around until you say yes!"

Alistair: "She's seems more 'ooh pretty colors' than 'I'm Princess Stabbity-stab, muahahahaha'. She's probably harmless."

Me: "Fine, but if she stabbity-stabs me, I'm blaming you. Just so we're clear."

 

Zevran: "I was sent to kill you. By this rather taciturn fellow in the capital, Loghain I think. But what I actually want is to leave the Crows. And if I try to leave, they will kill me. Frankly, I'd rather take my chances with you."

Me: "Well, doesn't that sound familiar? Welcome aboard then."

Zevran: "You are a very handsome man."

Me: "... And you're the one person who doesn't seem to give a damn that I'm a Warden. Sure. I'll bite. Anything's better than thinking about darkspawn."

 

Shale: "It is a weak flesh creature. I like squishing such things. Let's go."

Me: "Well, I like making darkspawn explode. So you know? I think we're going to get along just fine."

(Later)

Shale: "It killed Caridin!"

Me: "Anything to stop the Blight. We need those golems, and he would have stopped me. I'll do anything you want to make it up to you, but I don't regret that."

Shale: "...Fine. I will not kill it. For now."

Me: "You're not trying to bash my head in. I'll take it."

 

Wynne: "Let me lecture you on your Duty even though I know nothing about Grey Wardens and what they do"

Me: "Nope. I've got two mages, I don't need a third, especially not one who lectures, and definitely not one who lectures inaccurately."

Wynne: "I was just the same when I was your age."

Me: "So you'll understand if I leave you in camp forever."

 

Oghren: "I like killing things and drinking. Also, my marriage failed and my entire house is dead."

Me: "Well, I question your coping mechanisms, but I'm not going to stop you from coming along."

 

Loghain: "Everything I've done was to protect Ferelden. Now, here's some military advice."

Me: "Huh. If you weren't going to be eaten by the Archdemon, we might work together well. ...Let's hope Riordan gets there first, shall we?"

[teh DRUMPf!!]

 Good call including DA:A companions. Time for another round (this is fun!)...

 

Note that I am limiting this to first-impressions only.

 

Mhairi: *says something*

me: (Hmm. I don't know who this is, but don't want to ask her and make myself look like an idiot for traveling with a complete stranger, so....)

me: Right, let's push ahead, woman I know because we're traveling together!

Mhairi: Yes, Commander!

 

Anders: Uh, I didn't do it.

me: Ooh, majicks! Join us.

Anders: Okay, cool.

me: Ooh, healing majicks -- even better!

 

Oghren: *tavern music plays while he's cutting down Darkspawn*

*looks back at me and waves*

me: YESSSSS!!!!!!

 

Sigrun: N/A ... I was spoiled.

 

Velanna: UGH!! GET OUT OF HERE! SOMEONE KIDNAPPED MY SISTER AND NOW I'M KILLING EVERYTHING THAT MOVES, UGH!!!

me: Consider yourself very lucky that my Warden is Dalish too and similarly murdered shemlen enough to understand and overlook this.

me: ... and: Ooh, majicks!

 

"Justice"-nonsense: Tell me, mortal, will you help us in this just cause?

me: Sure. Do you have a way out of the Fade?

"Justice"-nonsense: Er, no, but I will help you look for it!

me: You've lived here how long? If you haven't found it by now you probably never will. The Baroness might, though, so I'll go speak to her.

Trapped villager: You're going to leave us here? Have you no compassion?

"Justice"-nonsense: Do not trouble yourself, good woman. It is pointless to appeal to that which does not exist.

me: Well, it's not that simple, but yeah. Toodles!

**The Baronness, long story short, talks to me and helps me out of the Fade ... with the spirit**

"Justice"-nonsense: You! You caused this. You sided with that foul sorceress and I have been sent back here AGAINST MY WILL!!

me: Oh shut up you big baby.

"Justice"-nonsense: The Baronness is here too. Her mortal self is long dead, actually, that's really a pride demon.

me: Gee, inspector. That would have been good to know before.

"Justice"-nonsense: Let's team up, close these Veil tears, and kill the demon.

me: Now we're talking.

** Battle ensues, concludes **

"Justice"-nonsense: I apologize. I was wrong about you. I can join you, if you like.

me: Yeah, well I've judged many shemlen wrongly, perhaps I am also wrong about you. Alright then, welcome aboard.

 

Seranni: the Architect is not all bad, you need to see him for yourself.

me: What she's saying is... possible. Unlikely, but possible.

Architect: (gives his pitch)

me: Hmm. Not saying I trust this guy, but the research and study of Darkspawn could yield worthwhile discoveries.

Sigrun: I won't let you do this, Commander.

me: Won't let me? I'm the Commander of the Grey.

"Justice"-nonsense: I'm with her.

me: I WAS RIGHT ABOUT YOU!

** fight ensues, plot-armored guy wins **

me: =,,,[

me: WHY, SIGRUN? WHY??

[TheMadHarridan]

I'm going to do this with my current CE warrior Celestine. She is pragmatic, pleasure-seeking, very anti-Chantry, a bit ruthless, and not fond of most humans. (I needed a change from playing shiny, happy characters. )

 

Alistair: I, um, think you're really pretty. I like you a lot.

Me: *arches a brow suspiciously* Oh? Even though I'm an elf?

Alistair: Of course. You're amazing.

Me: You're very sweet. *gives him a wicked grin* Want to come to my tent? I think it's time I corrupt you properly.

Alistair: *blushes furiously* I'm, uh, going to go take a cold bath.

Me: Your loss. 

(later)

Alistair: Thanks for helping me with my shrew of a sister. I love you.

Me: Um, yeah, me too, you, that is. Ugh. Enough of the mushy stuff. Want to come to my tent?

Alistair: Definitely.

Me: About damn time.

 

Dog: Happy bark!

Me: *eyes Dog warily* You know I'm a cat person, right?

Dog: Woof.

Me: I guess you're okay. Ooh, maybe Morrigan can turn you into a tiger!

Dog: *whines and runs away*

Me: I was only kidding!

 

Me: *helps some random human villager for coin* Here. I found your "Lost Bag of Holding." Pay me.

Morrigan: *rolls eyes* What's next? Shall we rescue a bag of kittens from drowning?

Me. Stop right there! You can insult Circle mages, snark at villagers, and push Chantry folk into the lake if it pleases you. I don't care. But when it comes to drowning kittens, that's where I draw the line. If there's a kitten in distress, we're saving it. End of story.

Morrigan: ...Fair enough.

(later)

Morrigan: I have a ritual from Flemeth that could save your life, my friend. All you have to do is let me sleep with your boyfriend and become pregnant with his child. After that, you allow me to walk away, and you don't follow me. Ever.

Me: So, neither of us will die, and we don't have to be responsible for the kid? Sounds good to me.

 

Leliana: I had a vision. I'm coming with you.

Me: Not a chance. The last thing we need is some crazy nun joining the team.

Leliana: But the Maker told me to come with you.

Me: I don't believe in the Maker.

Leliana: But the Maker told me to come with you.

Me: I. Do. Not. Care. You're not coming.

(later by the bridge)

Leliana: Oh, hello. Can I come with you?

Me: *sighs heavily* Which part of no didn't you understand?

Leliana: I'm not giving up. I'm going to follow you around until you recognize that I'm part of the Maker's divine plan.

Alistair: I guess she might be useful.

Me. Ugh. Fine. But keep the Maker stuff to yourself.

 

Sten: I killed an entire family because I lost my sword.

Me: Okay. But you said that Elves are treated well under the Qun?

Sten: Yes.

Me: Even better than humans?

Sten: If they are deserving. But often, yes.

Me: Welcome aboard!

 

Zevran: I know I was hired to kill you, but I promise to help you if you take me with you, deadly sex goddess. I can do many useful things.

Me: Hmm. Well, I'm not fond of sparing people who attempt my murder, but I could use another elf in camp. Come on then.

(back at camp)

Zevran: You're very beautiful. Shall we make love?

Me: Ooh, tempting. But I'm already involved with Alistair.

Zevran: Maybe the three of us could...

Me: Now there's a thought.

 

Oghren: I drink a lot. I'm actually a walking brewery.

Me: Promise to share?

Oghren: Heh. Maybe. I also enjoy splitting skulls with my axe.

Me: Welcome aboard!

 

Wynne: You are a Grey Warden. You are a servant to your duty and responsibility.

Me: I'm a servant to no one, human.

Wynne: And you must break up with Alistair. You are not allowed to have emotions.

Me: Drop dead.

(later)

Wynne: I was wrong about you and Alistair. I'm sorry.

Me: About damn time.

 

Shale: I like squishing things.

Me: Me too.
Shale: I also dislike humans. They are weak and inferior to me.

Me: Welcome aboard!

(later)

Me: Did I see you flirting with Sten?

Shale: I was not. I am a golem. Flirting is beneath me. I was just remarking on how superior the Quanri seems, and how the light plays across its muscles...

Me: *snickers* Nope. Not flirting at all.

 

Riordan: Loghain is a general of renown. Let's conscript him.

Me: Have you lost your mind?

Riordan: Let him be of use.

Me: *beheads Loghain* The answer is no.

[mousestalker]

There are some funny items in this thread.

[Ajadea]

This is entertaining. Part 2: Awakening. Same Warden (Elf Arcane Warrior/Blood Mage - sprung for Battlemage once I found the manual).

 

Mhairi: "It is an honor to have the opportunity to join the Grey Wardens!"

Me: You're going to be in for some serious disappointment when you figure out what the Grey Wardens really are. "Let's go, recruit."

 

Anders: "Hey, I remember you, from the Circle! I know what they tell you about me, but I swear, I didn't do it!"

Me: "Frankly, I don't care if you did do it. We've got a keep full of darkspawn to clear out, and time's wasting. Let's go!"

(Later)

Templar: "That man is a dangerous apostate! We must take him into Chantry custody!"

Me: "Nope. Right of Conscription. Get out of my keep.

Templar: *leaves*

Me: "Wow, I just told a templar off. That was incredibly cathartic."

 

Oghren: "I'm here to become a Warden!"

Me: "So, what happened to the army job, and the pretty wife, and, you know, your kid?"

Oghren: "Fighting darkspawn's all I know. Fighting and getting ******-drunk. Not so good at the family thing. And being a Warden makes you Warrior caste, you know? Even if you're on the surface."

Me: "...Come on, let's go kill some darkspawn."

 

Varel: "So, you're actually also the arl of Amaranthine."

Me: "Uh, but... I'm an elf. And a mage. And a Warden. There are laws against me having titles."

Varel: "The queen gave Amaranthine to the Grey Wardens. So the Warden-Commander of Ferelden also gains the title of arl of Amaranthine. And there are no laws against making a mage, or an elf, Warden-Commander."

Me: "And I have vassals. Creators, the Landsmeet's gonna throw a fit. And the Chantry... is it too late for me to move to Par Vollen?"

 

Nathaniel: "I am Nathaniel Howe! You killed my father! Except... I'm not actually sure I want to kill you anymore."

Me: "Is anyone else getting deja vu here? No? Just me? *sigh* Get out of here, Howe. I suggest rethinking what you want really want here."

(Later)

Nathaniel: "You spared my life. I expected to die, and you... let me go. I can't believe I'm asking this, but... I want to go with you. Let me become a Grey Warden."

Me: "Yeah, this definitely sounds familiar. What the hell. Lots of my friends have tried to kill me at some point. What's one more?"

Oghren: "Careful. This one might just go all Zevran on you."

Me: "Ha! Now there's a thought." 

 

Velanna: "Shemlen scum kidnapped my sister! Now I will kill every shem in this forest!"

Me: "You're lucky I've got a fairly high tolerance for extremism."

Velanna: "Andraste overturned an evil empire, only to have her followers create one in her name."

Me: "Funny how that works out, isn't it."

 

Sigrun: "I used to be casteless scum. Being in the Legion gave me a second chance. A chance to be better."

Me: "Trust me, sister, you'll fit right in with the rest of us."

Sigrun: "This is so amazing! You've got so many books! Ooh, and a spyglass! I've only ever heard about these before... it's so cool!"

Me: "Nothing like talking to a duster to put your problems into perspective."

 

Justice: "This world is full of beauty. So much beauty that beauty gets overlooked."

Me: "Wish I had more time to get to know you, but we're about to start the endgame and I'm a better tank than you. Bye!"

 

Seranni: "The Architect's trying to help!"

Architect: "I'm a sentient darkspawn maleficar and I'm doing research that might end the Blights. Also, I kidnapped you. For science!"

Velanna: "I believe whatever Seranni believes!"

Nathaniel: "This is way too big of an advantage to pass up."

Sigrun: "No! No! Absolutely not!"

Me: (persuade) "You say that like the current approach is working. The sooner the darkspawn are eradicated and the Blights are ended, the better."

Sigrun: "...I hope you know what you're doing."

Mother: "That guy started the last blight, awakened Urthemiel, and all of us too. So everything bad that happened in the last two years was his fault really."

Sigrun: "So... remember what I said? About trusting darkspawn? Real good decision there."

Me: "...The Blight sucked, but... you know, I can't hate the Architect for making it possible for me to become who I am today. To meet the people I have, and be given these opportunities for really changing the world. I don't condone his actions, but I can't just say they should never have happened. Not so quickly, anyways."

[Doominike]

Ok so I have 3 main Wardens: HN-Teresa Cousland, HM-Melissa Amell, DE-Aranyani Mahariel

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Alistair: I'm funny nice guy and a softie

Teresa: I like you

Alistair: Lots of crappy things happen to you and you just keep going like a badass, here's a flower. Also I love you

Teresa: Come to think of it, I kinda love you too

 

later

 

Teresa: Hey bone Morrigan, don't ask why just trust me

Alistair: Uh...ok I guess

 

In Awakening

 

Alistair: I don't like asking you to go fight monsters but It's sort of your job

Teresa: Come on, like I'll actually be in danger

Alistair: Right, forgot my wife was invincible ^^

-

Alistair: Are you a mage ?

Melissa: Yup

Alistair: I used to be a Templar

Melissa: Well being funny and the 'used to' part gives you a pass, let's go

Alistair: So uh, I love you

Melissa: Aww, you're nice and all but I like chicks (I know you can't say that but I added it in my headcannon)

-

Alistair: Ever see a darkspawn before ? Scary aren't they ?

Aranyani: Eh, they die when you shoot them, same as anything else, not impressed

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Dog: woof

Teresa: Good job with the rats Fenrir

Melissa: That's your name now, Woof

Aranyani: I'll call you Fen'Harel, because it's fitting of a stoic badass like me to name her dog after the elf equivalent of Cerberus and also because that's the only canine name that comes to mind right now

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Leliana: God asked me to follow you

Teresa: Normally I'd put distance between us but we need numbers atm so you're welcome

Melissa: Eh, none of us are normal anyway

Aranyani: ...fine

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Morrigan: I'm a social darwinist and I disapprove of doing good even when there's no more profitable morally dubious alternative or when the good act is done for pragmatic reasons

Teresa: I'll talk to you because I don't think you're actually that much of a stupid ******

Morrigan: *can actually be friendly*

Teresa: Well you're not perfect but I like you

Morrigan: I have a friend !

 

later

 

Morrigan: So uh..I know a way neither you or Alistair have to die but he would have to bone me

Teresa: I'm not thrilled but it beats dying or living without him

Morrigan: *cries inside from the dilemma of banging her friend's lover*

-

Morrigan: The Circle is a cage full of Chantry BS

Melissa: You bet your ass it is

Morrigan: #magefreedom

Melissa: You, me, my tent, right naow

Morrigan: I only like men (also I can't use you for my ritual later)

Melissa: Nuuuuuu *cries*

-

Morrigan: F*** the Chantry

Aranyani: Agreed

Morrigan: But they hunt mages and imprison them and they took a du-wait you agree ? *stops talking*

-----------------------------------------------------------

Oghren: I'm a drunk *******, help me

Teresa: Since it's your wife you can follow but don't get in the way

Melissa: One word the wrong way and you're a toad. A toad that I'll step on

Aranyani: Whatever

Oghren: *follows outside*

Teresa/Melissa/Aranyani: Who said you became part of the group ? Gtfo 

------------------------------------------------------------

Shale: I have no clue what to do except calling you an It

Teresa: Golems are strong and you're sympathetic enough, you could come with me

Melissa: Golem ! Be mah friend !

Aranyani: You're useful. And you're an It too

------------------------------------------------------------

Sten: I'm stoic, logical and I kick ass

Teresa: Exactly what I need, welcome aboard

Melissa: You're something I haven't before, I want stuff like that

Aranyani: We'll get along

Sten: I don't understand, you're look like a woman but you can't be because women don't fight and you're a badass

Teresa: I'm a woman and I fight, deal with it

Melissa: I'm a person now ? I thought mages were things

Aranyani: If you can't understand that it's your own shortcoming

-------------------------------------------------------------

Wynne: I'm a nosy preachy blighted hag who has no clue dafuq she's talking about

Teresa: Keep your nose out of my business

Melissa: Go back to the circle ? You ****ing kidding me ?!

Aranyani: Shut up

-------------------------------------------------------------

Zevran: Don't kill me, I can be useful. Also you're hot

Teresa: Sounds reasonable (and if he's BSing me it's not like he's actually a threat anyway)

Melissa: Another dangerous weirdo, added to my collection

Aranyani: One dodgy move and you die

-------------------------------------------------------------

Anders: I'm basically mage!Alistair

Teresa: You seem nice and you kill darkspawn, that's all I need

Melissa: If only you had boobs

Aranyani: Stop being a clown, follow

-------------------------------------------------------------

Justice: I'm a personification of the principle of justice

Teresa: That pretty much ensures that you're not an *******

Melissa: A zombie ! W00t !

Aranyani: Stoic warrior, welcome to the club

-------------------------------------------------------------

Nathaniel: You ruined my family by killing my father

Teresa: you father killed my entire family

Melissa: your dad was an ***hole

Aranyani: And I'll kill you too

-------------------------------------------------------------

Oghren again: Hey there ! I came to become a Grey Warden !

Teresa/Melissa/Aranyani: What part of gtfo did you not understand the 1st time ?

-------------------------------------------------------------

Sigrun: Hi, my unit was all killed, I'll go die too

Teresa/Melissa/Aranyani: Wouldn't you like to be a GW and help save the world instead ?

-------------------------------------------------------------

Velanna: I'm basically elf!Morrigan

Teresa: I have doubts about your story, let's check it out

Aranyani: Could be nice to have another Dalish for a change

-

Melissa: I want you

Velanna: I share that with Morrigan too

Melissa: *cries*

[Doominike]

Melissa was the most fun to RP, she was hilarious

 

"Griffins ?"

*sigh* "Yes, griffins"

"Yay griffins!"

[Xetykins]

Alistait at ostagar: Here I have bandages.....
Me: Alistair, just because you licked that sock does not makr it a bandage!

Wynne: love is ultimately selfish...
Me: *strips the vestment of the seer of her because I need moar*

Dog: * barks happily*
Me: * takes Morrigan's unmentionables from dog's mouth* wash your mouth!!

Zevran: urchins mugged me! They they they took my leather!
Me: at least you got to keep yout whip. Errr.. I mean whit.

Morrigan: am I some abomination to put to torch?
Me: do you even burn???

Lelianna: oogh pretty lashes!
Me: O.o


Sten: completion!
Me: finally found a way to be with shale? Should I even ask how?

Shale: squish!
Me: *gets a chisel*

Loghain: its you or me they follow.
Me: me ofc. I've got nicer hind quarters!

Oghren: the skyyyyyyyyyyy!!
Me: at least if it falls, it wont hit your head first *snark*

[sylvanaerie]

Disclaimer: With the exception of Sten I like all the other companions to some degree.  Loghain doesn't really count since I never recruit him anyway, but I included my thoughts on him anyway.

 

Alistair: This goofy looking guy is supposed to be my romance? *opens mouth and out comes Steve Valentine's voice*

Warden:

 

Morrigan: *Disapproves* Why you no kick puppies, drown kittens, kill children?  

Warden: You're so funny....wait, you're being serious?

Later:
Morrigan: I want to have your child and sole custody of it.

Warden: You're so funny...wait, you're being serious?

 

Sten: I killed an entire family, including all the children except the youngest who hid.

Warden: Cousland (remembers his/her nephew) *Looks in vain for "Stab this jerk" option.*

(Freed Sten:) Females should know their place and not fight.  Mages should all be hobbled and their tongues cut out.

Female Mage Warden: Why did I let you out of that cage?

 

Leliana: I saw a sign, the Maker bloomed a rose on a dead bush in Lothering.

Warden: I believe you, Alistair plucked it and gave it to me as a present.

Leliana: 

 

Zevran: I can be useful, I can pick locks....

Warden: You can?  Great!  Join us.

*Warden looks at Zevran's skills* 

 

Wynne: Griffons....Yes, there are griffons in this story *Long suffering sigh*

Warden: Griffons...!

 

Oghren: Buuuuuurp!

Warden: *Passes out from the stench/fumes.*

 

Shale: *Stomps pigeon*

Warden: *Agrees* Flying rodents...

 

Muffin (Dog): STFU!  Do you have to bark at nothing at 3am?

 

Loghain: It's me or you they will follow, Warden.
Warden: Hmm, if I'm given a choice then I would have to say, "Me".  *Lops off head*

[Ajadea]

Oh, I know, right?? I had almost the same reaction, though way later in the game.

 

Me: "You mean I turned down the chance to be Bann of the Denerim Alienage for nothing??!! I thought Wardens weren't allowed to hold lands or titles! And Denerim's streets filled with race riots over the alienage having an Elven Bann, yet an Elven Warden Arl doesn't get so much as a blink? What sense does this make??"

 

Mages are also forbidden from holding lands or titles IIRC. Which only made it sweeter for me. Local politics is all kinds of BS though.

 

More stuff. This is fun!

Spoiler

Eddelbrek: Protect the farmlands!

Esmerelle: Protect the city!

Me: Varel, reassign some of our patrols from the Keep and anyone who isn't needed in the city. This arling is mine, and that makes it my duty to protect all of it.

 

Ser Tamra: Someone's trying to kill you.

Me: Already? I'm flattered.

Ser Tamra: This is serious!

Me: A lot of people have tried to kill me. Most of them end up my friends and advisers. The rest die. I'm not too worried about these ones. 

 

Varel: This man stole food from the Crown. By law, he must be executed. If it was anyone else, he'd just be flogged.

Me: That's a ridiculous law. Have him flogged and let him go.

 

Lady Liza: Howe gave me that land!

Ser Derren: That's my land! And you took part in his conspiracies!

Varel: The paperwork is in order.

Me: (Persuade) Well, it looks like it is hers, then. You will be recompensed, however, Ser Derren. As soon as I figure out how. I HATE politics.

 

Varel: Ser Tamra's dead.

Ser Temmerly: I might have been running away from her corpse with blood all over me, but you can't prove I killed her!

Me: Except for the part where you're a terrible liar, right? Varel, execute him.

 

Rioter: Feed us!

Me: (Persuade) I will provide for my people, trust me.

Sane Rioter: You're already protecting us. That's good enough for me.

Me: *whew*.

 

Esmerelle: You killed the old arl!

Me: You've got one chance to back down, old lady.

*Antivan Crow shows up and shoots Varel*

Me: ...And you've just blown it. Everyone, OUT OF THE WAY! *Storm of the Century*. When I get back to Denerim, I'm going to have a nice long chat with Ignacio.

 

Garavel: Burn the city.

Velanna: Burn the city.

Nathaniel: Burn the city.

Messenger: Burn the city.

Sigrun: What, no!

Me: Half the city's probably tainted and dead already. I cannot in good conscience let either of these armies go unchecked. Do it, Garavel. We can be sorry later.

[KC_Prototype]

You say you like ****** but say peace to Leliana? No!

[KC_Prototype]

Alistait at ostagar: Here I have bandages.....
Me: Alistair, just because you licked that sock does not makr it a bandage!

Wynne: love is ultimately selfish...
Me: *strips the vestment of the seer of her because I need moar*

Dog: * barks happily*
Me: * takes Morrigan's unmentionables from dog's mouth* wash your mouth!!

Zevran: urchins mugged me! They they they took my leather!
Me: at least you got to keep yout whip. Errr.. I mean whit.

Morrigan: am I some abomination to put to torch?
Me: do you even burn???

Lelianna: oogh pretty lashes!
Me: O.o


Sten: completion!
Me: finally found a way to be with shale? Should I even ask how?

Shale: squish!
Me: *gets a chisel*

Loghain: its you or me they follow.
Me: me ofc. I've got nicer hind quarters!

Oghren: the skyyyyyyyyyyy!!
Me: at least if it falls, it wont hit your head first *snark*

What does that mean?

[Mike3207]

What does that mean?

Vestment of the Seer is a pretty good robe for mages.

I imagine the person took the robe off wynne in reference to needing more love because it's selfish-although how the robe applies to love I have no idea.