Viv: Honestly when was the last time you had a bath
Solas: last time I had a bath my hair fell out I'd hate to see what else drops off next
Viv: ....argg why do I bother...
Varric: steamy bathtub smooching
Solas: what are you doing Varric
Varric: writing an epic love story duh
Solas: I did not nibble on her neck while being in that position you filthy....
Varric: oh so you ruffled her feathers poked her pointy ears
Solas: Stand still so I can turn you into a toad
you know, i never thought to go the angle of her getting angry over us teasing her book and table stabbing.... interesting...
Varric: So seeker, stab any good books lately? Slay any tables?
Cassandra: I stabbed your book once! Once! And I stabbed the war table once! That's all, i have no clue where this notion of me having a habit of stabbing literary works and tables comes from!
Varric: Well, you did get the inquisitor started.... hes so impressionable at this age, you really should have set a better example, next thing you know hes going to be greeting people with swords to their throats.
Cassandra: Why do you make it sound like im his mother?! Hes not a child, he isnt impressionable at all!
Inquisitor: Hey varric, I just saw Bull throw Sera.... Can i throw you?
Varric: They grow up so fast....
Cassandra: Face palms*
*At a cosy roadside tavern*
Iron Bull: "You know, you are one strange kid."
Cole: "So I've been told."
Iron Bull: "You know what I think? I think what you need is a cask of good ale and a pair of bad women waiting for you upstairs."
Cole: "...*Bad* women?"
Iron Bull: "As bad as they come..."
Cole: "But I didn't bring my dagger."
Iron Bull: "...Alright, from now on, I'm letting the Inquisitor deal with you."
Sera: "Thank you Cassandra."
Cassandra: "For what?"
Sera: "For taking out the fort's gateway. A few minutes more and I swear Bull would've had a go at launching me over the walls."
Cassandra: "...You're welcome?"
Cole: "...Inquisitor? Could you please tell Sera that I think her aim has improved a lot recently?"
Inquisitor: "Sera, Cole says he thinks that your aim has improved a lot recently."
Sera: "Of course it has. You've ensured I've had plenty of targets to practice on."
Cole: "Inquisitor, could you also tell her that I think her hair looks very nice today?"
Inquisitor: "Sera, Cole says that he thinks-"
Sera: "Tell it to stop buttering me up."
Cole: "But I haven't touched the butter!"
Inquisitor: "That's not what she meant, Cole."
Cole: "... Do you think she'd prefer turnips instead?"
Sera: "No she bloody well wouldn't!"
Vivienne: "So! Which of you is responsible?"
Jospehine: "I'm sorry?"
Vivienne: "I have been reliably informed that the two of you are responsible for the Inquisitor's wardrobe."
Dorian: "'Reliably informed?' This is the Dwarf's doing, isn't it?"
Vivienne: "I want to know why you two allowed the Inquisitor to show up at *my* ball wearing that... that... abomination!"
Josephine: "Ah..."
Dorian: "Erm..."
Josephine: "Well, you see-"
Dorian: "We did *try* to convince-"
Inquisitor: "Hey guys! Check out my new hat. I'm 'borrowing' it from Cole."
*Collective face-palm*
dont rip on the almighty turnip....
Cole: Hey Sera.
Sera: ............................
Cole: Hey Sera.
Sera: .....................
Cole: Hey Sera.
Sera: ..................... (getting visibly more angry)
Cole: Hey Sera, Bull found your donut stash.
Sera: Tell me that sooner you idiot!
Cole: Hey Sera.
Sera: URGHHHHHHHH
Cassandra: "You're being terribly naive about all this, you know."
Cole: "I am not."
Cassandra: "Terribly so."
Cole: "Terribly not."
Cassandra: "I don't see how anyone could possibly think the way you do about this crisis. About anything."
Cole: "Then you aren't looking hard enough."
Sera: "The Seeker doesn't see... the ghost kid thing! It's like... two puns at once. It's like she scored a double. Do they score doubles in this game?"
Cole: "I wouldn't know."
Sera: "Because you're a ghost kid thing! That's why you wouldn't know. Hey everybody, that's why he... wouldn't know. Hey everybody, I'm dizzy. What was even in that ale, you think? 'Cause it was really... green..."
Cassandra: "This is a farce, every second of it. And that wasn't ale."
Inquisitor: Damn, is that another breach.... or am i just drunk again....
Varric: Sorry buddy, thats another breach.... and you are drunk again.... i think...
Cassandra: I swear, i dont even know how you can stand up, let alone fight demons....
Inquisitor: Thats not all i can do when im drunk.... *winks
Cassandra: Ughh *walks off
Varric: Your charm never ceases to amaze me....
Inquisitor: What? Its true! I can also puke, fall over, and sing a few shanties when im drunk.... what was she thinking about?
Varric: I take that back, im actually a little impressed... (*thoughts in head* Which means she was looking at him that way.... this guy is either incredibly lovably dumb, or just lucky as hell)
Cassandra: Why is it every time i turn around, you are drinking?
Inquisitor: Its not every time, just sometimes on nice days like today...
Varric: Um champ, you were taking a swig from your flask during our fight with that ferelden frostback yesterday.... and im pretty sure you raided that abandoned castle's wine cellar while we were releasing our captive soldiers...
Inquisitor: Those were nice days too....
Cassandra: We are knee deep in a swamp of undead and its raining, how the hell is that a nice day?!
Inquisitor: Ok, ok, maybe i just want to enjoy my work a little bit more....
Varric: Hes got a point, it takes a lot of alcohol to enjoy this kind of work....
Cassandra: Can you just focus while we fight....
Inquisitor: Fine fine, but dont blame me if i miss an archer or two because im sober...
Varric: Guess we will have to start wearing helmets then...
Cassandra: Give me that flask, you're giving me a headache. *takes a swig*
Sera: Thanks for putting in a bar for us Inquisitor, makes me feel right at home.
Inquisitor: Well, I can't let my soldier's morale drop too low can I now.
Sera: Right, right, And it has nothing to do with the fact that you drink like a fish?
Inquisitor: Well, there is that, but its mainly for the troops.
Sera: You're a terrible liar you know that right.
Inquisitor: Really? Cassandra seems to think that's what its for.
Sera: The seeker is too blinded by her feelings for you to think that you have ulterior motives.
Inquisitor: She has no feelings for me, she yells at me constantly for drinking, and stabbing our only war map, and drinking, and throwing party members, and rubbing solas's bald head to predict the future.... nope, no sense of love at all....
Sera: That just means she likes to dote on you. Try getting her drunk, her true colors will show then.
Inquisitor: Hopefully her true colors arent an angry drunk.... i really dont like having a sword to my throat, even if she was whispering dirty things into my ears while she does it.
Sera: She wont, she wont.... heck the other day she was so drunk she was bawlin her eyes out when you went to the healer after getting hurt, you should have seen how worried she was.
Inquisitor: Im pretty sure shes just worried that if i die she has to run the inquisition again and wont have my special hand to close the breaches.
Sera: Just get her in here and buy her a drink already.
Inquisitor: Fine, but im gonna need a few myself to work up the courage.... dont wanna be sober when she hits me....
Sera: ughh.... men...
Bull: Almost done, then we do the frosting.... *mumbling to self*
Varric: Whachya doin there big guy?
Bull: Uh.... nothing, just uh you know... makin some roasted nug in the oven....
Varric: I dont think you frost nugs big guy.
Bull: Of course you do, its a specialty back in par vollen....
Varric: Right.... and you throw cakes into your stews.
Bull: Sure, nothing like good ol fashioned cake stew....
Sera: Hey, who's cupcakes are burning?
Bull: Damnit
Varric: Hehehe wait till the inquisitor hears this....
Bull: Dont make me toss you through the roof dwarf.
Varric: Awww cmon, think of all the "mayhem" this will cause
Bull: I really hate you sometimes
Varric: I aim to please hehehe.
Sera: *Whispering* Hey Cassy, you've got a thing for the inquisitor don't you?
Cassandra: *Whispering* Shhh.... dont say something he might misinterpret, hes right there.... and no i dont have a thing for him....
Sera: Right and all the drooling every time you look at him is just the hunger for elven flesh.... you dont look at me that way *pouting*
Cassandra: Trust me, if i hungered for elven flesh, you would be the first to know.
Sera: Awww.... you know just how to make me feel all warm and fuzzy
Cassandra: Anyway, i dont have a thing for him, and thats final...
Sera: Ok, ok, but you know he was asking about you last night, what kind of gift you might like.... General consensus was a new stabbing knife.... I think he was a little disappointed.
Cassandra: I like things other than shiny new blades and armor.... he could have just asked me *blushing while looking over at inquisitor*
Sera: Awww Cassy is so cute when shes embarrassed, you should totally go talk to him and confess your feelings....
Cassandra: I keep telling you i dont have feelings for him.... *blushing while looking at inquisitor*
Sera: You know, they really should add denial into the symptoms of love sickness...
Cassandra: Did you say something?
Sera: Yeah, you're drooling again.
Cassandra: Shut it.
Hah, that was fun.
I can't think of anything at the moment though, but if I do, I'll know where to put it.
Raxka:Do you mind?
Varric:Oh no,I was just in awe of the fact that you're so tall.I would make a joke about the weather up there, but I know from experience that Qunari don't have a sense of humor.
Raxka:I am not part of the Qun,Varric.My family lived outside of it's teachings.
Varric:Still...I bet you never laugh.
Raxka:Only when I'm ****** drunk or in a killing mood.Can you guess which one would get me to laugh right now?
Varric:Okay then....I am going to go before you end up skewing me with that sword of yours.
Raxka:I thought you wanted me to laugh?I needed to practice my low sword swings anyway.
Varric:And I will leave you to that,I believe the Seeker wanted to see me earlier.
Raxka:Do you mind?
Varric:Oh no,I was just in awe of the fact that you're so tall.I would make a joke about the weather up there, but I know from experience that Qunari don't have a sense of humor.
Raxka:I am not part of the Qun,Varric.My family lived outside of it's teachings.
Varric:Still...I bet you never laugh.
Raxka:Only when I'm ****** drunk or in a killing mood.Can you guess which one would get me to laugh right now?
Varric:Okay then....I am going to go before you end up skewing me with that sword of yours.
Raxka:I thought you wanted me to laugh?I needed to practice my low sword swings anyway.
Varric:And I will leave you to that,I believe the Seeker wanted to see me earlier.
Out of the pan and into the fire!
Transdimentional encounters. (meeting the PCs of other games. Can you guess who?)
Inquisitor: Excuse me Ser, can you point me to the nearest village?
Mysterious stranger: It's down that way. About 50 blocks to the south. *starts punching tree*
Inquisitor: Blocks?
MS: Yeah, blocks! Look at the ground, can't you see the grid?
Inquisitor: Umm, no? And why are you punching that tree?
MS: I need wood. Why else? *bottom piece of tree falls off, but tree remains standing*
Inquisitor: How is this possible?
MS: It happens all the time. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to make a pile of dirt to reach the top.
***************************************************************************************************************************************
Inquisitor: Excuse me, Ser, can you point me to the nearest village?
Mysterious stranger: It's down that way. Just follow the glowing trail.
Inquisitor: What glowing trail?
MS: The one on the ground, of course! *walks up to a nearby fence and starts walking back and forth*
Inquisitor: I don't see a glowing trail... And what are you doing?
MS: I'm trying to jump over this fence! It's a bit tricky to get the distance right though. It's quicker to just walk around it, really.
Transdimentional encounters. (meeting the PCs of other games. Can you guess who?)
Inquisitor: Excuse me Ser, can you point me to the nearest village?
Mysterious stranger: It's down that way. About 50 blocks to the south. *starts punching tree*
Inquisitor: Blocks?
MS: Yeah, blocks! Look at the ground, can't you see the grid?
Inquisitor: Umm, no? And why are you punching that tree?
MS: I need wood. Why else? *bottom piece of tree falls off, but tree remains standing*
Inquisitor: How is this possible?
MS: It happens all the time. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to make a pile of dirt to reach the top.
***************************************************************************************************************************************
Inquisitor: Excuse me, Ser, can you point me to the nearest village?
Mysterious stranger: It's down that way. Just follow the glowing trail.
Inquisitor: What glowing trail?
MS: The one on the ground, of course! *walks up to a nearby fence and starts walking back and forth*
Inquisitor: I don't see a glowing trail... And what are you doing?
MS: I'm trying to jump over this fence! It's a bit tricky to get the distance right though. It's quicker to just walk around it, really.
Minecraft's very own Steve, of course, and....
this second one is hard. I want to say Skyrim, but I don't think that's quite right. Hmm...
Minecraft's very own Steve, of course, and....
this second one is hard. I want to say Skyrim, but I don't think that's quite right. Hmm...
Righto on Steve!
Nope, not Skyrim. No golden trail there.
Righto on Steve!
Nope, not Skyrim. No golden trail there.
See, that's what I thought. There is of course a spell in Skyrim that shows you which way to go, but it's no big part of the game so....
Hmm. I'm going to take a wild guess: Fable?
See, that's what I thought. There is of course a spell in Skyrim that shows you which way to go, but it's no big part of the game so....
Hmm. I'm going to take a wild guess: Fable?
Bingo! 
In 2 and 3, jumping fences can be a pain because the stupid prompt doesn't show up if you don't line it up juuuust right. And that golden trail that leads you astray sometimes...
Bingo!
In 2 and 3, jumping fences can be a pain because the stupid prompt doesn't show up if you don't line it up juuuust right. And that golden trail that leads you astray sometimes...
I've never played Fable, but I saw the trailer for the PC version of Anniversary yesterday and I'm thinking of picking it up. Heard 2 was alright in comparison, and 3 was awful.
Anyway, I won!
id rather go with something else for that picture you describe....
Sera: *fisting gesture* And thats why i always get way up in there when searching for loot, you never know who's hiding what.
Cassandra: *disturbed look on face* I dont think even i would be that desperate for a new knife or a few coins...
Blackwall: *laughing* Don't be surprised if you find a whole set of armor up there lass!
Inquisitor: *laughing* As long as we make sure to put it on Bull first....
Soldier: Sir! There's um.... an old Avvar here assaulting the keep with his goat....
Inquisitor: Just him.... and his goat.... no one else?
Soldier: Yes sir.
*Inquisitor and Varric look at each other*
Inquisitor: Varric, am i drunk?
Varric: Yep
Inquisitor: So an avvar barbarian assaulting our keep with a goat is just one of my drunken imaginations right?
Varric: Nope
Inquisitor: Damnit.... *walks off*
Cassandra: Do I want to know?
Varric: Im sure not even I want to know what the hell this is about.
This and the one before stem from the game informer article about skyhold. I used Alexius for this example cause in the article it states that a big time enemy can become a potential ally...
Inquisitor: *sitting on throne, looking bored* Alexius, we have defeated you and your venatori, it is my right as inquisitor to judge your fate.
Alexius: As you wish, if my death can help you stop the elder one, then so be it.
Inquisitor: .......make me laugh
Alexius: What?!
Inquisitor: I sentence you to become my new court jester.
Varric: Oh maker... *shakes head while rubbing eyes*
*everyone else is stunned*
Josephine: My lord, it would be wise to reconsider this decision and possibly have him help mistress leliana in the espionage division.
Cassandra: Or just execute him for the allies we have already lost.
Inquisitor: But im bored, this place is so dreary and serious. I need something to brighten this place up.
*Cassandra, Inquisitor, and Josephine arguing in background*
Sera: *whispers to bull* Hes drunk again isnt he?
Bull: *whispers back* He got into the dwarven ale this time.
Sera: *face palms*
Decorating Skyhold
Cassandra: We need to make sure the main hall is repaired properly, it will determine how people see us from now on, so we need to choose its decorum carefully.
Inquisitor: Why would people base their opinions on us from the decoration of our main hall?
Cassandra: You really dont get Orlais do you?
Inquisitor: Well, im an elf.... I really dont get humans in general...
Cassandra: Well, what sort of decorum do you think would work...
Inquisitor: Im thinking spikes
Cassandra: Spikes?
Inquisitor: Yeah spikes, in fact lets outfit every keep with them...
Cassandra: What purpose would they serve?!
Inquisitor: You dont think spikes look cool? Im pretty sure the orlesians would love them....
Cassandra: *facepalms* Sigh cmon, we have a lot more to do and a lot to teach you about humans and orlais.
Inquisitor: As long as you're teaching. *winks, and braces for imminent impact*
*nothing happens, cassandra has continued walking down hall*
Cassandra: Im going to leave you behind.
Inquisitor: So is that a yes?.....
*slap*
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