710 réponses à ce sujet

[Basement Cat]

Cassandra VS Trevelyan (continued)

 

Cassandra: *silent fuming*

 

Trevelyan: Are you still angry with me?

 

Cassandra: *glare*

 

Trevelyan: I'll take that as a yes. Look, I'm sorry. Truly. I enjoy teasing and you are a very tempting target for it, but if you feel I have crossed a line just say so and I promise it won't happen again.

 

Cassandra: *softening* You... I thought you were mocking me.

 

Trevelyan: I'm sorry if I caused distress. You are always so serious.

 

Cassandra: Recent events give little cause for levity.

 

Trevelyan: True, but that doesn't mean we can't enjoy the little things. Like teasing the lady with a crush on a prisoner.

 

Cassandra: *blush* You just had to bring this up again, didn't you?

 

Trevelyan: You have to admit it's unusual. It's like something out of one of those sappy love stories of which the Orlesians are so fond.

 

Cassandra: Did you read any?

 

Trevelyan: No, my literary choices are restricted to history.

 

Cassandra: *defensive* Then how do you know they are sappy? Or that our situation is similar to one of them?

 

Trevelyan: *surprised* You got me there. *slyly* You enjoy them, don't you?

 

Cassandra: *blush* I read one or two.

 

Trevelyan: *grin* Of course. As the Hero of Orlais you have to be acquainted with its cultural trends. Right?

 

Cassandra: Exactly.

[JAZZ_LEG3ND]

Basement Cat put a thought in my head... something something "bed-breaking sex". The result? My first submission here. Hope you guys like it.

 

 

 

Sera: You hear?

 

Varric: Just now, or did it happen before?

 

Sera: Get ou’, Cass and the Inquisitor; it’s practically news.

 

Varric: Ah—

 

Iron Bull: I could hear them all night.
 

Sera: That’s called eavesdropping, ya know?
 

Iron Bull: I couldn’t help it; I can’t work the downstairs oven, it’s too small.
 

Sera: I don’t buy that.
 

Varric: Laying off the casserole for a night wouldn’t kill you, Dutch.
 

Iron Bull: I’m hurt, Varric.
 

Varric: Not as much as you’ll be if the Seeker finds out; she’s liable to stab you.
 

Sera: She can stab me.
 

Varric: And you’re not talking about knives.
 

Sera: What, you’ve never given it a thought?
 

Varric: The Seeker and I don’t connect that way. Besides, she’s too volatile.
 

Sera: Wha’ever, I like volatile. I’d use her like a pillow.
 

Varric: That’s quite the picture you’ve painted.
 

Sera: Hahaha, Cass-roll.
 

Varric: Pay her no attention, Dutch.
 

Iron Bull: I’ll be in my bunk.

 

Spoiler

Firefly reference... anyone?

[Basement Cat]

Basement Cat put a thought in my head... something something "bed-breaking sex". The result? My first submission here. Hope you guys like it.

 

 

 

Sera: You hear?

 

Varric: Just now, or did it happen before?

 

Sera: Get ou’, Cass and the Inquisitor; it’s practically news.

 

Varric: Ah—

 

Iron Bull: I could hear them all night.
 

Sera: That’s called eavesdropping, ya know?
 

Iron Bull: I couldn’t help it; I can’t work the downstairs oven, it’s too small.
 

Sera: I don’t buy that.
 

Varric: Laying off the casserole for a night wouldn’t kill you, Dutch.
 

Iron Bull: I’m hurt, Varric.
 

Varric: Not as much as you’ll be if the Seeker finds out; she’s liable to stab you.
 

Sera: She can stab me.
 

Varric: And you’re not talking about knives.
 

Sera: What, you’ve never given it a thought?
 

Varric: The Seeker and I don’t connect that way. Besides, she’s too volatile.
 

Sera: Wha’ever, I like volatile. I’d use her like a pillow.
 

Varric: That’s quite the picture you’ve painted.
 

Sera: Hahaha, Cass-roll.
 

Varric: Pay her no attention, Dutch.
 

Iron Bull: I’ll be in my bunk.

 

Spoiler

Firefly reference... anyone?

I'm not sure why Varric is calling Iron Bull 'Dutch' (Dutch oven? What would the Thedas equivalent be?)

But I like the banter. Cass-roll. 

[JAZZ_LEG3ND]

I'm not sure why Varric is calling Iron Bull 'Dutch' (Dutch oven? What would the Thedas equivalent be?)

But I like the banter. Cass-roll. 

 

Thanks

 

Figured, Varric gave everyone nicknames in DA2, he's probably gonna do it in Inquisition too... Dutch just seemed like something he'd call Iron Bull.

[ComedicSociopathy]

Cole and Vivienne :

 

Cole: I heard what you said you know. 

Vivi: Dear spirit, would you be ever so kind as to be specific about what you apparently heard?

Cole: I heard you tell the Inquisitor that I should be disposed of. That I should just go away. 

Vivi: You should.

Cole: Why?! I haven't done wrong by you or the others. I'm a spirit... I think, not a demon. I only want to help people.

Vivi: Be you spirit or demon you're still an aberration to this world, and the only good deed you can do for it is leave it in peace. 

 

Sera and Solas :

 

Sera: So you're like Dalish, right?

Solas: (sighs) No, I am not Dalish.

Sera: Really? Because I figured with you wearing those...

Solas: Fur and leather coatings that I must be some forest-dwelling keeper with a mastery over all things natural. 

Sera: Yeah, that was pretty much the assumption that I was going with.

Solas: Well, at least your humble enough to admit your ignorance. Perhaps their's hope for you yet.

Sera: Thanks. I think?

 

Cole and Sera :

 

Sera: I think i was wrong about you.

Cole: Wrong about what, Sera? That I'm spy? That I plan on possessing the Inquisitor? Or that I'm actually the Elder One in disguise?

Sera: Court's still out on the first two, but I don't think you're the Elder One.

Cole: Oh. Why's that?

Sera: Well, they the way I see it, what self respecting demon would disguise its self as some flea-bitten, dull-haired, skinny waif of a child?

Sera: Just seems to masochistic. Even for a demon.

Cole: If I ever do possess the Inquisitor my first order is to have you thrown in the dungeons.

Sera: Aha! And the demon finally shows its true intentions. Knew you were evil all along! 

Cole: Ugh. I miss Rhys.

[Zehealingman]

Bull: So, tell me Seeker ... what's better? Shield and Sword or something heavier?

 

Sera: *giggles*

 

Cassandra: Well, that of course, depends on your fighting style. For example ...

 

Sera: Like charging something headon ...?
 

Bull: Or wearing your enemy out...?

 

Sera: *giggles again*

 

Cassandra: Y-Yes, like that. But why are you...

 

Bull: So Inquisitor, does she take you head on or wear you out?

 

Sera: *laughs*

 

Cassandra: Ugh, Maker give me strenght. Children, both of you!

[Violet Carson]

Iron Bull and Inquisitor


Inquisitor: Damn, it looks like our bags are full up.

Iron Bull: I guess we'll have to come back for that dragon plate armor.

Inquisitor: Are you crazy? If we leave someone is bound to take it. Here, let me just get rid of this feather.

Iron Bull: What? Getting rid of a feather won't give you nearly enough space---

Inquisitor: Ah, there we go. Now we have some dragon plate armor. I can't wait to show Cullen. He'll be so jealous.

Iron Bull: But...how...

Inquisitor: Come on, Bull.

Iron Bull: I don't even know the proper questions to ask in this situation.

[BronzTrooper]

Iron Bull and Inquisitor


Inquisitor: Damn, it looks like our bags are full up.

Iron Bull: I guess we'll have to come back for that dragon plate armor.

Inquisitor: Are you crazy? If we leave someone is bound to take it. Here, let me just get rid of this feather.

Iron Bull: What? Getting rid of a feather won't give you nearly enough space---

Inquisitor: Ah, there we go. Now we have some dragon plate armor. I can't wait to show Cullen. He'll be so jealous.

Iron Bull: But...how...

Inquisitor: Come on, Bull.

Iron Bull: I don't even know the proper questions to ask in this situation.

 

Dragon Age logic at its finest!  

[Little Princess Peach]

Inquisitor: I want to know everything about you in 10 seconds go!

Sera: what?

Inquisitor: will you be my friend if I give you a random gold necklace that I found on a dead darkspwan?

sera:  That is so 9:30 Dragon

Inquisitor: say what now?

 

......................

 

Inquisitor: Cullen I've maxed out your friendship bar why wont you love me damit!

Cullen: did you not hear the relationships this time round are more complicated

Inquisitor: what do I Have to do run around the keep naked screaming free the mages?

Cullen: that would be a good start...

[Violet Carson]

I always thought it was funny how you could straight up rob a person's house and no one would care, including the owner. That made me think of this.


Inquisitor, Cole, Cassandra, and NPC.


Inquisitor: Oh, awesome! Check out these greaves and all these lyrium potions. And here's a whole gold piece!

Cole: Are you sure we should be here, Inquisitor? Don't these already belong to someone?

Inquisitor: Don't worry, Cole, we're fine. I do this all the time.

Cole: Is this not stealing?

Inquisitor: Nah, the citizens don't even notice---

NPC: Andraste's flaming ass! What are you doing in my home? Are those my greaves? Guards! Guards!

*An hour or two later*

Inquisitor: ...and that's why we need you to pay off the jailor.

Cassandra: Maker.

[Violet Carson]

Cole and Varric

Cole: Varric, are you going to be writing stories about your time with the Inquisitor?

Varric: Will I be writing stories? What kind of question is that? That's my shtick.

Cole: Will you include everyone? Vivienne, Iron Bull, Blackwall...

Varric: Cole, are you asking to be in my story?

Cole: Can I?

Varric: 'Course. In fact, I'll dedicate an entire chapter just to you.

Cole: Thank you. It'll be nice being remembered.

[Wolfen09]

that last one is kinda sweet....

 

 

Varric:  So, you and the seeker huh?

 

Inquisitor:  *Grinning*  And?  Got a problem with that?

 

Varric:  Besides your blinding smile, not really... just curious what you see in that angry woman...

 

Inquisitor:  She's not always angry.... well, yeah she kind of is....

 

Cassandra:  And who is to blame for that?!

 

Inquisitor:  *grinning, and points at self*  ME!

 

Cassandra:  That's right!

 

Varric:  I dont think she meant that as a compliment there buddy...

 

Inquisitor:  Awww, but she must have, she enjoys taking care of me and my messy antics dont you my dear?

 

Cassandra:  I dont enjoy fixing your mistakes at all...

 

Inquisitor:  Awww, but you know you look so beautiful when you take a stand and help fix my mistakes.... its what makes us a great team!

 

Cassandra:  Flattery will get you nowhere.... and we are not a great team, you are always drunk and running head first into trouble....

 

Varric:  No arguments there

 

Inquisitor:  Yes, but who is the dashingly beautiful woman who comes and aids me in my time of need?  My princess riding in on her white horse....

 

Varric:  A princess rescuing a prince in distress.... that might be an interesting angle to go after in my next story....

 

Cassandra:  And why does this conversation give me nothing but a headache....

 

Inquisitor:  If it makes you feel any better cass, thank you for always saving me.... i dont always think things through properly, i wouldnt be alive if it wasnt for you.... on multiple occasions.... and i wouldnt be alive because of you if you had changed your mind on that me being an enemy thing....

 

Cassandra:  Really, that could always be rectified....

 

Varric:  Really need to learn when to stop talking buddy....

[Violet Carson]

Vivienne and Varric

Vivienne: Tell me, dwarf, what is your opinion on the Mage/Templar---

Varric: Nope.

Vivienne: That was not a yes or no question. Now who do you favour---

Varric: Nope.

Vivienne: I insist that you tell me on which side of this conflict you fall.

Varric: .....

Vivienne: Dwarf?

Varric: You have pretty eyes.

Vivienne: I what? Do not try to change the subject!

Varric: Damn, that always worked for Isabela.

[Violet Carson]

Dorian and Varric


Dorian: Varric, what's your opinion on the Tevinter Imperium?

Varric: My opinion?

Dorian: Yes, it's just that...there are many rumors propagated about my country and while I expected the obvious "everyone is a demon-possessed blood Mage that sacrifices a thousand slaves a day" I've found some that just seem unfair.

Varric: Oh, like what?

Dorian: For example, I had Sera ask me if it was true that we decapitated babies and ate their still beating hearts for breakfast.

Varric: And do you?

Dorian: Of course not.

Varric: Ah, well, don't let rumors get you down. Most of the people that come up with them have no idea what they're talking about. Besides you're not nearly as bad as Starkhaven.

Dorian: Starkhaven?

Varric: Yeah, they eat the dead and murder strangers in the streets.

Dorian: What?

Varric: It's true. The prince of Starkhaven was a companion of Hawke and he all but confirmed it.

Dorian: Wow. Who would have thought?

[introverted_assassin]

"Vivienne: Yes.  The dwarf may be insufferable with his tall tales and... whatever that is on his chest"

This is the Viv in my head. This is it exactly. I snort laughed at this.

[Violet Carson]

Inquisitor, Leliana, Sera, and Blackwall


Inquisitor: This is it, men, one of our toughest challenges yet. I won’t lie. Some of you may not be coming back.

Blackwall: Maker, help us.

Inquisitor: What lies ahead is…well, there are no words to describe it. Your training has been leading up to this and yet I feel as though it will not be enough.

Sera: I don’t know if I can do this. This isn’t what I signed on for, Inquisitor. This isn’t how I imagined it would end.

Inquisitor: No, you must not give in to fear, Sera. You have to stay strong. For all of us.

Blackwall: It’s been an honour, Inquisitor.

Inquisitor: As with you.

Leliana: Oh, stop being so dramatic, you three, it’s just a ball.

[cjones91]

Sera:Hey Varric,why are you here in the mess hall when the others are coming up with war plans?

 

Varric:I'm just enjoying some peace and quiet,what about you?

 

Sera:Eh,that planning stuff bores me,I prefer stabbing people and getting the job done rather than talking about it in some war room.

 

Varric:*Laughs*.

 

Sera:What's so funny?

 

Varric:You just remind me of the Inquisitor,believe it or not but she also hates thinking about every single detail and would rather get a battle over with.Speaking of which I think that's her right now.

 

Amalia:Varric!Thank the Maker you and Sera are here,Cassandra was boring me so I silently slipped out before she noticed.Let's go get some drinks before I get the inevitable lecture.

 

Varric:Sounds good to me.

 

Sera:Same here,but you're paying for mine.*Laughs*

[Al Foley]

*Cassandra...after just bathing...is standing in front of her mirror* 

 

Cassandra:  I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty and witty and bright!

 

*The Inquisitor leans in the door and pokes her head in, with a curious expression on her face* 

 

Cassandra: And I pity
Any girl who isn't me tonight.

 

*Iron Bull peaks in, frowning, as though deep in throught.* 

 

Cassandra:  I feel charming,
Oh, so charming
It's alarming how charming I feel!
And so pretty
That I hardly can believe I'm real.

 

*Varric pops in, grinning* 

 

Cassandra: See the pretty girl in that mirror there:
Who can that attractive girl be? 

*Finally Viv, scowling fiercely.* 

 

Cassandra: Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me!

 

Viv: You are many things my dear Cassandra but pretty is not one of them. 

 

*Cassandra jumps half way out of her skin* 

 

Cassandra: How long have you been standing there? 

 

KT: Longer then you'd like. 

 

Varric: So...getting in touch with your inner princess Seeker? 

 

Cassandra: *brandishes a sword* OUT! 

 

Iron Bull:  Uh oh...

 

KT: ....now we're in trouble. 

[Wolfen09]

If i remember correctly those were not the original lines to that song....  oh well, props for making it flow well....

 

 

Dorian:  It seems some congratulations are in order.

 

Inquisitor:  Oh, what for?

 

Dorian:  I heard you tore down the seeker's wall to her heart, its good to see her in a good mood for once.

 

Inquisitor:  Well, when she realizes that i skipped 2 of her battle plan meetings, her good mood will sour....

 

Dorian:  I thought something was missing this morning.... dont tell me you snuck out to go get drunk again...

 

Inquisitor:  Like i would ever do something so low brow, i was doing some personal training.

 

Dorian:  Oh really?  What kind of training?

 

Sera:  He was trying to see if he couldnt beat his previous record of 36 ales before passing out.

 

Inquisitor:  *grinning*  Its still training.

 

Dorian:  You know when she finds out shes going to get really angry.

 

Inquisitor:  As long as nobody tells her, it should be quiet for a while *Glares at Sera who is sneaking off*

 

Sera:  What?

 

Inquisitor:  You say a word and i dock your pay.

 

Sera:  You're no fun at all.

[Violet Carson]

(Someone in the other threads brought up a really interesting point about the Maker and I just wanted to expand on it here.)


Leliana and the Inquisitor


Inquisitor: So I have a theory about why the Maker left.

Leliana: I'm always open to new ideas. Please, share what you have to say.

Inquisitor: Okay, well, what if the Maker left because His job is done?

Leliana: I'm sorry? Done?

Inquisitor: Well, He's the Maker. Not the Defender or the Ruler or the Leader but the Maker. His job consisted of designing Thedas and everything on top like the people, the animals, and the vegetation. When He finished His job He left.

Leliana: An interesting theory and one I've not heard before. While I might not always agree, I find it fascinating how others interpret the Maker and His work.

[sky_captain]

Varric catching up with Hawke

 

V: So Hawke been a while

 

H: Why yes it has, how my favorite dwarf doing?

 

V: Well you know, trying not to get stabbed by the Seeker, eaten by demons, roasted like a nug by crazed mages, or smashed by giant red lyrium monsters, all the while trying to write a page or two, so ya know the usual. How about you?

 

H: Well I had a nice vacation, went to the beach, started writing my own book actually.

 

V: Really?

 

H: Really

 

V: You got attacked by demon pirates at the beach didn't you?

 

H: Well.......... yes.

 

V: Called it, you owe me two sovereigns.

[Sifr]

I have the funny feeling that most of the cut dialogue from DA2 was Varric's attempt at editing Hawke's insanity;

 

Cassandra: Varric, is that wo/man really the Champion of Kirkwall?

Varric: Of course s/he is.

Cassandra: But... you mean to say that his/her eccentricity wasn't exaggerated?

Hawke: There's a donkey in the spoon drawer!

Varric: No, that's one of the few things I toned down.

[BraveVesperia]

Vivienne: Have you taken leave of your senses?

Inquisitor: Not that I'm aware of...

Vivienne: What in Thedas makes you think that taking Sera, Cole and the Iron Bull to a ball would be a good idea? The Empress of Orlais will be there, and you want to make us look like fools! The Inquisition will be laughed out of the country!

Inquisitor: Eh, I'm sure they'd let us back in once demons start pouring through the windows.

Vivienne: That's not the point!

Inquisitor: Come on, you don't think it would be entertaining at all? They'll spice things up nicely. Formal events are so boring, I'd welcome some drinking games and a little table-dancing. Plus, Sera and Cole can ferret out all sorts of interesting things, while Iron Bull can be our hired muscle. Having a bodyguard makes a person look important, right?

Vivienne: If you insist on taking those three with us, I must see that they are made presentable.

Inquisitor: Good luck.

 

*later*

 

Inquisitor: Success? 

Vivienne: Iron Bull was surprisingly agreeable. I've fitted him for some ornamental - yet functional - armour, and a gilded eye patch. He's even promised not to get alcohol or blood all over himself.

Inquisitor: Yeah, that'll happen.

Vivienne: Sera has agreed to wear a dress, though she's put an unseemly amount of knives in her stockings. But she refuses to wear a wig! *brandishes poofy wig* So I'll be stuck looking at that rat's nest she calls hair. I wonder if I could blame it on a hairdresser. Hmm, yes. I do remember there was one who overcharged me before, I could tell everyone it was her doing.

Inquisitor: That's cold. How about Cole?

Vivienne: *fuming* He's a lost cause! He won't even take off that hideous hat. By this point, the only thing I can do is make him wait in the corner of the room and pretend to be a coat stand.

Inquisitor: A dancing coat stand... Iike it.

Vivienne: Don't you dare let him dance!

[Wolfen09]

you know, cole could just stand in the corner and not be noticed.... hes good at that

[steamcamel]

Varric (To Dorian): "Say, Dorian. Your name sounds very familiar."

 

Dorian: "Really? How so."

 

Varric: "I think I once read a novel that had your name in it."

 

Dorian: "I don't think so, Varric. I find it hard to picture myself in a book ..."

 

Varric: "That's it! "The picture of Dorian Gay", that was the book."

 

 

... I'll let myself out.