710 réponses à ce sujet

[Wolfen09]

Cole:  Hey sera....

 

Sera:  "It" is talking to me again.... what?

 

Cole:  Ive heard the inquisitor say that you are a friend of red jenny...

 

Sera:  Yeah so what?

 

Cole:  Well, why is she red?  And how did you become her friend?

 

Sera:  You've got to be kidding me...

 

Cole:  No, im very interested....  Jenny seems to have a lot of friends, i was wondering if she would be my friend too....

 

Sera:  Id doubt she would want to be friends with a homicidal ghost boy.

 

Cole:  Hey, Im not a ghost.... at least i think im not....

 

Sera:  *sighs*  Friends of Red Jenny is an organization, there is no red jenny...

 

Cole:  So shes not painted red?

 

Sera:  I still cant believe why the inquisitor didnt just cover you in goats blood and kick you into a bear den.

 

Cole:  Would the bear be my friend?

 

Sera:  Im done

[Gikia-Kimikia]

And lo, Gikia-Kimikia returned to the BioWare forums and was inspired by the suggestion that Blackwall enjoys quilting in his spare time, along with an image of a very brightly colored griffon quilt, to renew her love of creating mini-dialogues. And the Maker did smile upon her and say, "Do the writey thing," and it was so.

 

Inquisitor: I wanted to say you did excellent work on that copy of your quilt I asked for, Ser Blackwall. The black background really makes the griffon stand out perfectly.

Blackwall: *dryly* You're too kind, Inquisitor. And thanks for going to all the trouble to get the spare cloth to me, even if the combination was a bit... garish. Though I'd hardly take you for the type to take an interest in quilting.

Inquisitor: What, I can't humor an old man's adorable hobbies?

Blackwall: *disgruntled, disbelieving glare*

Inquisitor: Oh, fine, you caught me. What I'm really waiting for is...

[VIVIENNE'S HORRIFIED SCREAMING IN THE DISTANCE]

Viv: THAT COLOR PALETTE  IS ATROCIOUS! REMOVE THIS ABOMINATION FROM THE WALL  OF MY ROOM IMMEDIATELY, OR I WILL BURN IT TO A CRISP! ... WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S AN ARCANE SEAL?!

Inquisitor: *snickers* Ah, there she is. That'll teach her not to replace my wardrobe without my consent!

Blackwall: ... *sigh* One of these days, Inquisitor, your sense of humor is going to get you bloody killed.

[SLIGHTLY CLOSER SHOUTING]

Viv: INQUISITOR, I KNOW  THIS WAS YOUR DOING!

Inquisitor: *turns heel* And I say once more to the Maker, the Creators, the Ancestors or whatever the hell lies in the emptiness of the void, "NOT TODAY"! AHAHAHAHAHA! *runs for it*

And in case anyone wanted to see what the quilt looked like:

Blackwall's bed spread.

Spoiler

 

 

[Ignasious]

This thread shall not fade into the realm of obscurity! Fight to keep it alive! Post, as if your life depended on it! *plays heroic music* 

 

Sera: So, you mean to tell me, that you took down three bandits with one shot?

 

Varric: Hehe, yep. The arrow went straight through their hearts, and they simply fell down on the floor afterwards.

 

Cassanda (if present): Bulls**t.

 

Sera: I realy find that hard to belive, Varric. Bandits may be dumb, but not so dumb as to not wear any armour. The arrow would stop in the first body.

 

Varric: *chuckles*. Well, that would depend on the arrow and bow in question. My dear Bianca is a powerhouse. Maybe you should consider switching your bow for a proper crossbow?

 

Sera: Those big, clonky things? No thanks.

 

Varric: Hey, don't say that! Bianca is very concerned about her weight...even though she is perfect just the way she is.

 

Sera: ...I also prefer the idea to have someone sleeping next to me, rather then a crossbow.

 

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Cole: Why does the Imperium antagonise everyone?

 

Dorian: Pardon?

 

Cole: The Tevinter Imperium. All I hear about it is how it is getting itself enemies from all fronts. They fight with the Qunari, they sank the elves capitol into the ocean, and enslaved their population.

 

Dorian: Was that all you've heard of us?

 

Cole: I also read something about Ferelden...and all your dogs leaving you.

 

Dorian: The best explanation I can give for all this, is that power can be corrupting...and we've had it in excess. The magisters back in Tevinter think they can have the world on a silver plate, if they throw away their morals, and focus only on power.

 

Cole: But, you are not like that, right?

 

Dorian: No, I'm not. And...I would prefer if we didn't talk about this in the future, okay? I never realy liked home.

 

Cole: Understood.

[The Ascendant]

Trev and Cass

Cass: Do you believe in the Maker?

Trev: I try to. I find Andraste more believable than the entity she had an affair with.

 Cass: Excuse me?

Trev: I am not denying Andraste was a remarkable woman, but honestly I think it's more convincing that she was just a powerful mage. It's more believable than divine intervention.

Cass: Andraste. A mage?

Trev: Hey, it's what I believe in. In times like these might as well believe in someone or something. That or the Elder One. Just kidding. I am not going 'bow before your new god and be spared'. Talk about a big ego.

Cass: Do you always combine religion and humour?

Trev: Just imagine how much interesting the Chant would be if you added comedy. And maybe show more of the woman and less of the prophet.

Cass: She's the Bride of the Maker!

Trev; I'll give him that. He has excellent taste in women. 

[Warden Commander Aeducan]

Nice one, ciarhdap. Love how your Inquisitor doesn't take things too seriously, and he seems to have a good sense of humor.

 

Cass: Do you always combine religion and humour?

Trev: Just imagine how much interesting the Chant would be if you added comedy. And maybe show more of the woman and less of the prophet.

Maybe you should consider hiring Sister Theohild to reciting the Chant at Skyhold, the Maker shall be Andraste's bacon and shield. That will surely boost morale, and your Inquisition's soldier won't fall asleep listening to the Chant. Hahaha.

[Warden Commander Aeducan]

(Sorry for the double post, well I think this one is long enough to be full conversation.)
 

Varric: Please enlighten me about one thing, Inquisitor.
Adaar: I hope this conversation will be more pleasant than the last one, Varric.
Varric: Oh, but I only wish to learn more about the Qunari now you're refusing to talk? *sigh* There I thought you would prove me wrong about your oxmen.
Adaar: Fine.
Varric: Do you know why the Arishok order his forces to attack Kirkwall?
Adaar: You're asking me? I wasn't even there, Varric. I only heard the news and rumors about Kirkwall incident.
Varric: Well, I thought you could fill me in, and with an oxmen's perspective maybe I'll finally stop needle you.
Adaar: Maybe the Arishok's action is affected by being stranded for four years, and they cannot return home until they fulfill their task. He has to watch some of his forces forsake the Qun and become Tal-Vashoth, but while being obsessed and furious can cause a negative effect with your mind. I suspect the real reason is because he stuck in that pisshole Kirkwall while being provoked from the Chantry's fanatic.
Varric: Wait, did you just joking while making a serious statement. Oh well, it was a crude one but I was expecting you to be another brooding like Fenris. At least Kirkwall is more welcoming than any Qunari's domain.
Adaar: You tell me, Varric. You have a lot of experience about Kirkwall firsthand, and I heard rumors about the night at Kirkwall more than half of the population will turn into criminal gangs, every kind of thugs fills every district of the city and the city guard couldn't do anything about it, the Templar abuse their power and the Mages would resist while blood mages running loose, and there are Tevinter's slaver operate inside the city.

Varric: That's...undeniable.
Adaar: Nothing will surprise me more than every Kirkwaller let the infamous pirate Isabela get away with her crime unpaid.
Varric: Hey! don't you ever brought rivaini into this. She's returned for Hawke, and already redeem herself.
Adaar: Deny all you want, Varric. It still doesn't make up for all the losses at Kirkwall. I have to admit that the Kirkwaller is oddly forgiving while being illogical and stupid.
Varric: Bah! at least they are not pretentious like Starkhaven.

[Basement Cat]

From the Sera thread: Sera gets her smooch on with the ladies.

 

Part 1: Cassandra

 

Spoiler

Sera: I'm telling you I can do it.

 

Dorian: I highly doubt that.

 

Varric: More to the point, why would you want to?

 

Sera: Because you'll both owe me 10 silver if I pull it off?

 

Aadar: What's going on?

 

Dorian: Sera is saying that she can get the Seeker to kiss her.

 

Aadar: What? No way!

 

Sera: So, 10 silver?

 

Varric: You're on!

 

Dorian: Alright.

 

Aadar: This I've got to see.

 

Sera: Watch and learn. *walks over to Cassandra* Seeker? I need your help.

 

Cassandra: What is it, Sera?

 

Sera: I'm not feeling well. I think I've got a fever. *puts hand to forehead*

 

Cassandra: Oh. Perhaps you should ask Dorian? I believe he is carrying the healing herbs.

 

Sera: I don't want to bother him for nothing. Could you check if I really have a fever? *puppy eyes*

 

Cassandra: Oh, alright. *presses her lips to Sera's forehead* You do not feel hot. It might just be the sun. Put your hood up.

 

Sera: *grin* Oh, thank you, Seeker. *goes back to the others who have their jaws on the floor*

 

Dorian: How did you do that? *pays up*

 

Varric: I'm not sure that really counts... *pays up*

 

Sera: It does too! I said I could get her to kiss me. I didn't say where!

 

Aadra: Oh, I suppose it's fair. *pays up* I can't believe that worked.

 

Sera: *laugh* I've seen her use the same trick with Josie. You should have seen her face!

 

Aadar: Suddenly I'm feeling a little feverish too.

 

 

Part 2: Josephine

 

Spoiler

Sera: Hey, I bet you boys I can get Lady Josephine to kiss me.

 

Iron Bull: Alright, I'll take the bet. But it has to be a proper kiss! On the lips and everything.

 

Dorian: I agree. I'm not getting tricked another time.

 

Sera: *scoff* Since we're upping the stakes, might as well up the ante. 20 silver.

 

Iron Bull: You drive a hard bargain, but it's a deal.

 

Dorian: You're on.

 

Sera: Here we go! *walks over to Josephine, they talk for a moment. Josephine laughs, leans down and kisses Sera full on the lips*

 

Sera: Pay up, boys!

 

Dorian: I wish I had that kind of success with the gents. *pays up*

 

Iron Bull: What'd you say to her? *pays up*

 

Sera: Simple. I told her about the bet and asked her to help me win it. She's always so nice.

 

Iron Bull: That's not fair!

 

Sera: All's fair in love and gambling!

 

 

Part 3: Leliana

 

Spoiler

Blackwall: You've been clever so far, but even you can't pull this one off.

 

Iron Bull: And no tricks! No telling her it's a bet!

 

Dorian: And you can't force the kiss either! It has to be voluntary!

 

Sera: Well, you're making this tricky, but I think I can manage it. I can get Sister Nightingale to kiss me. It'll cost you 50 silver each this time.

 

Blackwall: Oho! Do you even have that much?

 

Iron Bull: Sure she does. She won the previous bets.

 

Dorian: Go ahead, my dear. Let's see how you do this time.

 

Sera: With pleasure. *goes up to Leliana*

 

Leliana: Is this another one of your bets?

 

Sera: *surprised* Jo said something?

 

Leliana: Yes. How much is it this time?

 

Sera: 50 silver.

 

Leliana: Mmph. Give me half and you've won.

 

Sera: Ok! *they kiss*

 

Sera: Pay up boys!

 

Iron Bull: You were not supposed to tell her! You've lost!

 

Sera: I did not! She brought it up!

 

Blackwall: *grumble* Fair enough. Here. *pays up*

 

Dorian: *long suffering sigh* This is getting costly. *pays up*

 

Iron Bull: *glare* Fine. Take the damn money then. *pays up*

 

Sera: Thank you, boys! *splits winnings with Leliana*

 

Dorian: You don't seem too upset at having to share your prize.

 

Sera: No I'm not. *saucy smile*

 

Dorian: Why is that?

 

Sera: She slipped the tongue.

 

 

Part 4: Vivienne

 

Spoiler

Blackwall: Ok, little miss clever. We'll win this time!

 

Iron Bull: That's for sure!

 

Sera: Let me guess: Vivienne?

 

Blackwall: Yep!

 

Iron Bull: No telling, voluntary, full kiss. And no outside help either.

 

Sera: You'd better make it worth my while.

 

Blackwall: Double or nothing. If you win, we'll double what you got. If you lose, you give us all our money back. Including what you gave the Sister.

 

Sera: *thinks for a moment, grins* You're on. *goes off in search of Vivienne. Finds her trying on hats in her room*

 

Sera: *sad face* Oh, hello, First Enchanter.

 

Vivienne: Hello, dear. *tries another hat*

 

Sera: *morosely* It must be nice to be able to shoot ice bolts out of nothing. I bet nobody gets fresh with you.

 

Vivienne: *suspicious* Was that an attempt at humor?

 

Sera: Oh no no! It's just that, I'm sure you don't have to put up with stupid boys pawing at you. *forlorn look*

 

Vivienne: Whatever is the matter, dear?

 

Sera: Oh, it's Bull and Blackwall. They... I heard them betting they could get me in bed. They know I don't like boys!

 

Vivienne: Oh, did they, now? *ice flashes in her hand* Leave this to me, dear. I shall go and cool off their ardor. *walks off*

 

*screams echo through Skyhold*

 

Blackwall: What's the matter with you, woman?

 

Iron Bull: Arrgh, not below the belt!

 

Vivienne: Perhaps now you will show proper respect towards your female companions. *walks off*

 

*Sera walks in*

 

Sera: Here's your money back boys! *tosses coin purse to the ground, runs away*

 

[Xannisel]

*In the middle of the forest*

 

Varric: Seeker, Quizzy, have you two seen Cole anywhere?

 

Inquisitor: Now that you mention it *looks around* where did he go?

 

Cassandra: I hope that he's gathering herbs for us rather than doing his own ...brand of helping.

 

Cole: You don't have to worry, I'm right here. And no herbs sadly.

 

*Everyone gives a startled jump and turn towards Cole, who is looking at his feet and acting like he has a terrible secret*

 

Varric: So Ghost Boy? Where did you do this time?

 

Cassandra: And why are you looking at your feet?

 

Inquisitor: What happened this time?

 

Cole: Promise you won't get upset?

 

Inquisitor: *sighs* I promise.

 

Cole. ...Alright. At first I wandered off to gather some herbs like you mentioned. Found a lot of toadstools instead. Was about to go back to you guys when there was a flash of green.

 

Cassandra: A Fade Tear?! You should have begun with that first.

 

Cole: Umm it was not a tear as it was over rather quickly. What was lying on the ground afterwars, however, was rather ...peculiar.

 

Varric: What was it? A Desire Demon dressed sensibly for a change?

 

Cole: Nothing like that. It look like a metal box with a strange carriage wheel underneath it and hands with no fingers. It got up introduced itself, asked if I wanted to be its friend and wanted to join up.

 

Inquisitor: Please tell me you didn't

 

Cole: I did. It seemed friendly, or rather more ...annoying than threatening. It was right behind me.

 

Cassandra: Then where is it-

 

*A loud thump and rumble echoes throughout the forest as an old log hits the ground, and out of the bushes comes Cole's ...friend*

 

Claptrap: My bad!

 

*Varric, Cassandra, and the Inquisitor stand slack-jawed in silence as Cole rubs the back of his head in embrassment*

[Shahadem]

From the Sera thread: Sera gets her smooch on with the ladies.

 

Part 1: Cassandra

 

Spoiler

Sera: I'm telling you I can do it.

 

Dorian: I highly doubt that.

 

Varric: More to the point, why would you want to?

 

Sera: Because you'll both owe me 10 silver if I pull it off?

 

Aadar: What's going on?

 

Dorian: Sera is saying that she can get the Seeker to kiss her.

 

Aadar: What? No way!

 

Sera: So, 10 silver?

 

Varric: You're on!

 

Dorian: Alright.

 

Aadar: This I've got to see.

 

Sera: Watch and learn. *walks over to Cassandra* Seeker? I need your help.

 

Cassandra: What is it, Sera?

 

Sera: I'm not feeling well. I think I've got a fever. *puts hand to forehead*

 

Cassandra: Oh. Perhaps you should ask Dorian? I believe he is carrying the healing herbs.

 

Sera: I don't want to bother him for nothing. Could you check if I really have a fever? *puppy eyes*

 

Cassandra: Oh, alright. *presses her lips to Sera's forehead* You do not feel hot. It might just be the sun. Put your hood up.

 

Sera: *grin* Oh, thank you, Seeker. *goes back to the others who have their jaws on the floor*

 

Dorian: How did you do that? *pays up*

 

Varric: I'm not sure that really counts... *pays up*

 

Sera: It does too! I said I could get her to kiss me. I didn't say where!

 

Aadra: Oh, I suppose it's fair. *pays up* I can't believe that worked.

 

Sera: *laugh* I've seen her use the same trick with Josie. You should have seen her face!

 

Aadar: Suddenly I'm feeling a little feverish too.

 

 

Part 2: Josephine

 

Spoiler

Sera: Hey, I bet you boys I can get Lady Josephine to kiss me.

 

Iron Bull: Alright, I'll take the bet. But it has to be a proper kiss! On the lips and everything.

 

Dorian: I agree. I'm not getting tricked another time.

 

Sera: *scoff* Since we're upping the stakes, might as well up the ante. 20 silver.

 

Iron Bull: You drive a hard bargain, but it's a deal.

 

Dorian: You're on.

 

Sera: Here we go! *walks over to Josephine, they talk for a moment. Josephine laughs, leans down and kisses Sera full on the lips*

 

Sera: Pay up, boys!

 

Dorian: I wish I had that kind of success with the gents. *pays up*

 

Iron Bull: What'd you say to her? *pays up*

 

Sera: Simple. I told her about the bet and asked her to help me win it. She's always so nice.

 

Iron Bull: That's not fair!

 

Sera: All's fair in love and gambling!

 

 

Part 3: Leliana

 

Spoiler

Blackwall: You've been clever so far, but even you can't pull this one off.

 

Iron Bull: And no tricks! No telling her it's a bet!

 

Dorian: And you can't force the kiss either! It has to be voluntary!

 

Sera: Well, you're making this tricky, but I think I can manage it. I can get Sister Nightingale to kiss me. It'll cost you 50 silver each this time.

 

Blackwall: Oho! Do you even have that much?

 

Iron Bull: Sure she does. She won the previous bets.

 

Dorian: Go ahead, my dear. Let's see how you do this time.

 

Sera: With pleasure. *goes up to Leliana*

 

Leliana: Is this another one of your bets?

 

Sera: *surprised* Jo said something?

 

Leliana: Yes. How much is it this time?

 

Sera: 50 silver.

 

Leliana: Mmph. Give me half and you've won.

 

Sera: Ok! *they kiss*

 

Sera: Pay up boys!

 

Iron Bull: You were not supposed to tell her! You've lost!

 

Sera: I did not! She brought it up!

 

Blackwall: *grumble* Fair enough. Here. *pays up*

 

Dorian: *long suffering sigh* This is getting costly. *pays up*

 

Iron Bull: *glare* Fine. Take the damn money then. *pays up*

 

Sera: Thank you, boys! *splits winnings with Leliana*

 

Dorian: You don't seem too upset at having to share your prize.

 

Sera: No I'm not. *saucy smile*

 

Dorian: Why is that?

 

Sera: She slipped the tongue.

 

 

Part 4: Vivienne

 

Spoiler

Blackwall: Ok, little miss clever. We'll win this time!

 

Iron Bull: That's for sure!

 

Sera: Let me guess: Vivienne?

 

Blackwall: Yep!

 

Iron Bull: No telling, voluntary, full kiss. And no outside help either.

 

Sera: You'd better make it worth my while.

 

Blackwall: Double or nothing. If you win, we'll double what you got. If you lose, you give us all our money back. Including what you gave the Sister.

 

Sera: *thinks for a moment, grins* You're on. *goes off in search of Vivienne. Finds her trying on hats in her room*

 

Sera: *sad face* Oh, hello, First Enchanter.

 

Vivienne: Hello, dear. *tries another hat*

 

Sera: *morosely* It must be nice to be able to shoot ice bolts out of nothing. I bet nobody gets fresh with you.

 

Vivienne: *suspicious* Was that an attempt at humor?

 

Sera: Oh no no! It's just that, I'm sure you don't have to put up with stupid boys pawing at you. *forlorn look*

 

Vivienne: Whatever is the matter, dear?

 

Sera: Oh, it's Bull and Blackwall. They... I heard them betting they could get me in bed. They know I don't like boys!

 

Vivienne: Oh, did they, now? *ice flashes in her hand* Leave this to me, dear. I shall go and cool off their ardor. *walks off*

 

*screams echo through Skyhold*

 

Blackwall: What's the matter with you, woman?

 

Iron Bull: Arrgh, not below the belt!

 

Vivienne: Perhaps now you will show proper respect towards your female companions. *walks off*

 

*Sera walks in*

 

Sera: Here's your money back boys! *tosses coin purse to the ground, runs away*

 

 

This is pure gold!

[Vivienne]

Solas + Vivienne aka i tried

 

Vivienne: Perhaps remove the fur, introduce some softer fabrics..

 

Solas: Excuse me?

 

Vivienne: Your outfit, dear. I was talking about your.. clothing, if it could be called such. Rags might be more apt.

 

Solas: I am glad to hear of your concern for my fashionable well-being.

 

Vivienne: Does it not disturb you?

 

Solas: Your constant ogling? Very much so.

 

Vivienne: Such wit, dear.

 

Solas: I try.

[Al Foley]

*Some random Inquisitor* 

 

Inquisitor..."Its time we start believing in this one. 

 

Elder One; *laughs*  Oh crap!  Now I'm in trouble!  THe Inquisitor is monologuing again!  Maker save me! 

 

Inquisitor...shut up. 

 

Elder One:  No, no, please, continue...I might die of boredom.  Let me guess you have a dream that one day Elves and Humans can live together in peace and smite me?  Or that four score and seven years ago something terrible happened to somebody. 

 

Inquisitor: ...I'm warning you!  *puffs out chest threatingly* 

 

Elder One: HA! Now you are warning me!  What are you going to do BREATHE on me?!  hahaha *laughs so hard he rolls around and rolls off the cliff he is on, crashing with a great boom into the snowy ground, where he is now lifeless and unmoving. 

 

Varric:  I can't believe that actually worked. 

 

Inquisitor:  All in the delivery my friend, all in the delivery. 

 

***

 

*Inspired by some of the recent gameplay videos* 

 

Kara Trevelyan:  ...I think we can take it. 

 

Solas:  Its big. 

 

Varric:  No...its huge. 

 

Cassandra:  Everything to you looks huge Varric. 

 

Solas: Its higher level then us. 

 

KT: Since when has that ever stopped us before? 

 

Solas:  Yeah, but its a dragon. 

 

Cassandra:  I have killed many Dragons in my time. 

 

Solas:  Your family has killed many dragons in there time. 

 

Cassandra: *glares..gets ready to make a piffy retort* 

 

Inquisitor: ENOUGH!  I have made my decision...we shall battle for it...for fame...for glory...for Dragon Steaks...FOR THE INQUISITION *jumps off the ledge and charges* 

 

*five minutes later* 

 

KT: RUN AWAY! 

 

Solas:  I will lay down covering fire while you get to safety. 

 

Varric:  No Solas!  Its a Dragon!  Its immune to fire. 

 

Cassandra: How do you know that Dwarf? 

 

Varric:  I don't know, some words appeared over the thing mid battle. 

 

Solas:  Get out of here, just run. 

 

*the party, minus Cassandra, begins to run, Solas waits a minute, and also begins to run, but is taken down by a fire ball.  The Inquisitor stops just short and looks back at the fallen Elf, who looks a bit...crispy* 

 

Solas:  Just run!  Don't worry about me!  Save ourself!  *gets eaten* 

 

KT:  Solas!

 

Varric:  Picard! 

 

KT: *shoots him a look*

 

Varric: Ahem* 

 

*they both start running* 

 

Cassandra: *turns and brandishes her sword* COme back here Cowards! 

 

*she gets eaten from the top down* 

 

KT:  *hides behind a stone wall*  Phew, the Dragon should never get me here- *the dragon's head phases through the rock and eats her* 

 

Varric:  Great, now it can phase through solid rock, what is this Skyrim!

 

*Varric tries running, only to have the Dragon swoop down and bat him aside with her tail...a white flash covers the screen and suddenly the party is standing in the middle of a forest, Kara and Varric blinking. 

 

Varric:  That went well. 

 

Solas: Ugh, lets not do that again. 

 

KT:  Come on guys, everyone back to the Skyhold...drinks on me.  Maybe we can come back when we level up. 

[Wolfen09]

From the Sera thread: Sera gets her smooch on with the ladies.

 

Part 1: Cassandra

 

Spoiler

Sera: I'm telling you I can do it.

 

Dorian: I highly doubt that.

 

Varric: More to the point, why would you want to?

 

Sera: Because you'll both owe me 10 silver if I pull it off?

 

Aadar: What's going on?

 

Dorian: Sera is saying that she can get the Seeker to kiss her.

 

Aadar: What? No way!

 

Sera: So, 10 silver?

 

Varric: You're on!

 

Dorian: Alright.

 

Aadar: This I've got to see.

 

Sera: Watch and learn. *walks over to Cassandra* Seeker? I need your help.

 

Cassandra: What is it, Sera?

 

Sera: I'm not feeling well. I think I've got a fever. *puts hand to forehead*

 

Cassandra: Oh. Perhaps you should ask Dorian? I believe he is carrying the healing herbs.

 

Sera: I don't want to bother him for nothing. Could you check if I really have a fever? *puppy eyes*

 

Cassandra: Oh, alright. *presses her lips to Sera's forehead* You do not feel hot. It might just be the sun. Put your hood up.

 

Sera: *grin* Oh, thank you, Seeker. *goes back to the others who have their jaws on the floor*

 

Dorian: How did you do that? *pays up*

 

Varric: I'm not sure that really counts... *pays up*

 

Sera: It does too! I said I could get her to kiss me. I didn't say where!

 

Aadra: Oh, I suppose it's fair. *pays up* I can't believe that worked.

 

Sera: *laugh* I've seen her use the same trick with Josie. You should have seen her face!

 

Aadar: Suddenly I'm feeling a little feverish too.

 

 

Part 2: Josephine

 

Spoiler

Sera: Hey, I bet you boys I can get Lady Josephine to kiss me.

 

Iron Bull: Alright, I'll take the bet. But it has to be a proper kiss! On the lips and everything.

 

Dorian: I agree. I'm not getting tricked another time.

 

Sera: *scoff* Since we're upping the stakes, might as well up the ante. 20 silver.

 

Iron Bull: You drive a hard bargain, but it's a deal.

 

Dorian: You're on.

 

Sera: Here we go! *walks over to Josephine, they talk for a moment. Josephine laughs, leans down and kisses Sera full on the lips*

 

Sera: Pay up, boys!

 

Dorian: I wish I had that kind of success with the gents. *pays up*

 

Iron Bull: What'd you say to her? *pays up*

 

Sera: Simple. I told her about the bet and asked her to help me win it. She's always so nice.

 

Iron Bull: That's not fair!

 

Sera: All's fair in love and gambling!

 

 

Part 3: Leliana

 

Spoiler

Blackwall: You've been clever so far, but even you can't pull this one off.

 

Iron Bull: And no tricks! No telling her it's a bet!

 

Dorian: And you can't force the kiss either! It has to be voluntary!

 

Sera: Well, you're making this tricky, but I think I can manage it. I can get Sister Nightingale to kiss me. It'll cost you 50 silver each this time.

 

Blackwall: Oho! Do you even have that much?

 

Iron Bull: Sure she does. She won the previous bets.

 

Dorian: Go ahead, my dear. Let's see how you do this time.

 

Sera: With pleasure. *goes up to Leliana*

 

Leliana: Is this another one of your bets?

 

Sera: *surprised* Jo said something?

 

Leliana: Yes. How much is it this time?

 

Sera: 50 silver.

 

Leliana: Mmph. Give me half and you've won.

 

Sera: Ok! *they kiss*

 

Sera: Pay up boys!

 

Iron Bull: You were not supposed to tell her! You've lost!

 

Sera: I did not! She brought it up!

 

Blackwall: *grumble* Fair enough. Here. *pays up*

 

Dorian: *long suffering sigh* This is getting costly. *pays up*

 

Iron Bull: *glare* Fine. Take the damn money then. *pays up*

 

Sera: Thank you, boys! *splits winnings with Leliana*

 

Dorian: You don't seem too upset at having to share your prize.

 

Sera: No I'm not. *saucy smile*

 

Dorian: Why is that?

 

Sera: She slipped the tongue.

 

 

Part 4: Vivienne

 

Spoiler

Blackwall: Ok, little miss clever. We'll win this time!

 

Iron Bull: That's for sure!

 

Sera: Let me guess: Vivienne?

 

Blackwall: Yep!

 

Iron Bull: No telling, voluntary, full kiss. And no outside help either.

 

Sera: You'd better make it worth my while.

 

Blackwall: Double or nothing. If you win, we'll double what you got. If you lose, you give us all our money back. Including what you gave the Sister.

 

Sera: *thinks for a moment, grins* You're on. *goes off in search of Vivienne. Finds her trying on hats in her room*

 

Sera: *sad face* Oh, hello, First Enchanter.

 

Vivienne: Hello, dear. *tries another hat*

 

Sera: *morosely* It must be nice to be able to shoot ice bolts out of nothing. I bet nobody gets fresh with you.

 

Vivienne: *suspicious* Was that an attempt at humor?

 

Sera: Oh no no! It's just that, I'm sure you don't have to put up with stupid boys pawing at you. *forlorn look*

 

Vivienne: Whatever is the matter, dear?

 

Sera: Oh, it's Bull and Blackwall. They... I heard them betting they could get me in bed. They know I don't like boys!

 

Vivienne: Oh, did they, now? *ice flashes in her hand* Leave this to me, dear. I shall go and cool off their ardor. *walks off*

 

*screams echo through Skyhold*

 

Blackwall: What's the matter with you, woman?

 

Iron Bull: Arrgh, not below the belt!

 

Vivienne: Perhaps now you will show proper respect towards your female companions. *walks off*

 

*Sera walks in*

 

Sera: Here's your money back boys! *tosses coin purse to the ground, runs away*

 

 

leliana one is the best, laughed my ass off at the last line in that one

[Rel Fexive]

Regarding dragons....

 

 

CASSANDRA: You're going to fight it, aren't you?

INQUISITOR: Regrettably yes, I think I might be about to do that.

CASSANDRA: It's really big.

INQUISITOR: I've seen bigger.

CASSANDRA: Really?

INQUISITOR: Are you joking? it's massive!

 

 

  (with thanks to The Rings Of Akhaten)

[Wolfen09]

Inquisitor:  So let me get this straight, my clan thinks the inquisition is holding me hostage?

 

Leliana:  Yes, the dalish seem to think you are being treated as the main criminal in the fade breach case.

 

Josephine:  Yes, we should send a few of our elven scribes with official documentation stating that you are here of your own free will, and are cooperating to help close the fade breach.

 

Inquisitor:  Well, the whole free will thing is kind of a long shot.... i mean cassandra did bully me into coming here.

 

Cassandra:  I did no such thing, i threatened you and you followed, you didnt have to follow.

 

Inquisitor:  Ahhh, but it was your beauty that locked me in chains and drug me here.

 

Cassandra:  *sighs* you're right, with my beauty you might just accuse me of being a demon and have me locked up and return to your clan.  *walks out*

 

Inquisitor:  Wait, I thought she was supposed to get mad at my antics.... what just happened?

 

Leliana:  I think she just played you....

 

Inquisitor:  Well that's new....  I might just have to get used to that....  *runs out after cass*

 

Josephine:  He's just a glutton for punishment isnt he?

[Ignasious]

Time to get back in the saddle.

 

Solas: I have been wondering for a long time, Vivienne...is it realy as bad in the circle that everyone makes it out to be?

 

Vivienne: It is a safe haven for mages, that has provided protection and knowledge for generations.

 

Varric (if present): Untill the templars ment to protect you decide to kill everyone instead.

Solas (if Varric is not present): And, what of all rumours of templar abuse?

 

Vivienne: I have to admit, things have not been ideal with the templars. Especialy now in recent times. But, I assure you, that many of the rumours that has been spread, is nothing but the ramblings of crazed apostates, that has spent their lives without a proper education. Ofcourse, no offence ment, dear.

 

Solas: Hmph...

Varric (if present): Tell that to the people of Kirkwall.

Cole (if present): The mage Cole experianced it alot differently then you describe it.

 

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Sera: Hey, Varric...you used to hang out with the Champion of Kirkwall, right?

 

Varric: Yes, I did...what about it?

 

Sera: Well, I heard about the Champion having the help of his/her friends all the time. Just like a certain Inquisitor we are traveling with.

 

Varric: Now that you mention it, I did get an odd sence of deja vú when the Inquisitor first took the lead.

 

Sera: So, just for fun...does anyone in the new gang remind you of the old gang?

 

Varric: Hmm...Well, Bull is like a male, and more horny version of Rivaini. Curley (Dorian) has the sass of Rivaini, and the whole "redemption" thing of Blondie. As for ghost boy...a mix of Blondie and Daisy.

 

Sera:...You have to tell me about the old gang first, you know?

 

Varric: I'll do that, once I'm done being nostalgic about this.

[Declined_Misery]

Solas and M/Dwarf Inquisitor.

 

Solas: Are you a merchant or a smith?
Inquisitor: Uh?
Solas: All the dwarfs I've met are either a merchant or smiths. What are you?
Inquisitor: Someone who is going to stab you if you continue to insult my people.

Solas: I meant nothing by it. Sorry if you took offense to my question.

Inquisitor: Varric ain't a merchant a merchant or a smith.
Solas: Varric doesn't count.
Inquisitor: Why not?
Solas: Because he told me so.
Inquisitor: Why don't you go and bother someone else? I'm not in the mood.
Solas: I tried talking to Varric...
Inquisitor: Then go bother him and leave me alone.
Solas: I can't. I asked him the same question and told me to ask you instead.
Inquisitor: huh...

M/Dwarf Inquisitor, Cass, Iron Bull and Varric. + a horse.

 

Inquisitor: I have a question for the seeker.
Cass: Yes, Inquisitor?
Inquisitor: It's not an easy question to ask...
Cass: You can ask me anything you like.
Inquisitor: Could you give me a leg up.
Cass: Excuse me?
Inquisitor: You think i can get up without assistance?
Cass: *looks at the horse next to the Inquisitor* Ah... height difference.
Inquisitor: Don't you dare laugh or the horse won't be the only thing I'll mount.
Iron Bull: You could ask me. I could easily lift you up.
Inquisitor: You would more than likely throw me instead.
Iron Bull: What? I like to throw things. Who doesn't?
Varric: I still have concussion from the last time you picked me up.
Iron Bull: You made me a bet. How far i could throw you. So i throw you.
Varric: You throw me and i went through a person's hut.
Iron Bull: Broke your fall didn't it?
Varric: It hurt like hell and poor Bianca got scratched. She's still not fully recovered.
Inquisitor: SHUT UP! Uh... Maybe i should abandon the horse and find a Mabari instead.
Iron Bull: I could lift a Mabari.
Inquisitor: I'm surrounded by pudding brains...
Cass: *Lifts Inquisitor up onto the horse* Better?
Inquisitor: I love you.
Cass: *blushes* Don't say that. Anyway what were we doing again?
Iron Bull: Throwing contest.
Cass: Maker. I'm surrounded by children.
 

[Declined_Misery]

Another one. This time Cullen/Josephine/Leliana with Cass/M/dwarf.

 

Cullen: We need to discuss the Inquisitor.
Josephine: I concur.
Leliana: He's a menace. You need to sort him out.
Cass: *angry, annoyed* What has he done now?
Cullen: He was up all night in the bar drinking ale with Varric and Bull.
Cass: Same as usual then?
Josephine: Same as usual? He ransacked the entire bar and when he ran out he demanded that anyone with any alchohol must hand it over immidietly for "Inquisition purposes"
Leliana: Now he's passed out on the war table. You need to do something.
Cass: Close the bar?
Leliana: Have you ever seen a dwarf who reacts anyway other than violent when you close a bar? The last thing you want is an unstable rage filled Dwarf.
Cullen: Just get him up off the table. We have a meeting in 5.
Cass: Why must i be the one who has to pick him up?
Josephine: Because your the only one he will listen to?
Leliana: And maybe you could give him bath. He's starting to stink the place out.
Cass: Fine. But no bath. He is a grown man. He can do that for himself.
Inquisitor: Keep the noise down. I'm trying to sleep over here. But you are right. I do need a bath. But Cassandra is the only one i trust with such a task.
Cass: No way. Now go get your self tieded up. There is much to be done.
Leliana: Maybe have a quick shave while your at it?
Inquisitor: *scoffs* This beard is my pride and joy. There is no one i will shave it for. Not even for a woman such as your self, Leliana.
Cass: You need a shave.
Inquisitor: Ok.
 

[Little Princess Peach]

Varric: want to play black jack?

inquisitors pet lizard: -blinks-

Varric: come just one game i promise to show you some of my card

inquisitor: varric what are you doing?

varric: teaching your pet dragon here, how to play cards

inquisitor: what hes a dragon they can't play cards

varric: Hawkes dog managed just fine, he won 50 gold coins from Anders in just one night, he ended both shirtless and pantless by the time isabela was done

ahhh good times.

[BraveVesperia]

Sera: Inquisitor, why didn't you ever tell me!

Inquisitor: Tell you...?

Sera: About desire demons.

Inquisitor: Oh. Yes. They're dangerous and bad. Stay away from them and don't agree to any deals.

Sera: Screw that, I want to let them out of the Fade!

Dorian: What? Why?

Sera: Have you seen them?

Dorian: More than I'd like. Those nipple clamps must chafe rather fiercely.

Iron Bull: I'd be happy to liberate them. What? You're the one who's always saying I should be more civic minded. 

Sera: Anyway, I'm thinking they're probably just really lonely. That's why they're always trying to get out of the Fade and cosy up to mortals. I just want to help them. Pretty please?

Cole: You want to help desire demons, but you're always so rude to me about being a spirit. That's not fair.

Sera: Then grow a pair of t i t s.

Cole: *cups his chest thoughtfully* How?

Inquisitor: Aaaand I'm out. *leaves*

[BraveVesperia]

I noticed the impressive amount of male sideboob Dorian was displaying in the Skyhold demo, and figured this was appropriate.

 

Cassandra: I notice you keep visiting Cullen's tower.

Dorian: Jealous, my dear?

Cassandra: Not at all. I simply think the time you two spend playing silly chess games could be better spent training.

Dorian: But one of the advantages of magic is that my talents are always honed. I don't need to smack dummies around the training yard with the metal-suited grunts.

Cassandra: It would benefit you to learn a few self-defence techniques. I can't be expected to babysit you all the time on the battlefield. A rage demon might get past me and rip you to pieces.

Dorian: That would be a dereliction of your duty. Do you really want that on your conscience?

Cassandra: It would be a better use of your time than ogling Cullen.

Dorian: You make it sound so crass. I'm simply an admirer.

Cassandra: You're barking up the wrong tree.

Dorian: But it's such a good looking tree.

Cullen: *appearing* I feel like a piece of meat.

Dorian: Meat? What kind of horrible trees do you have in Ferelden?

[Ignasious]

After having watched the latest trailer, I think I might have had the wrong idea about some of the characters...Definatly not dissapointed however. 

 

Cassandra: You know, you will have to apolagise and return what you stole sooner or later, Sera.

 

Sera: What for? She looked like it would'nt be a major loss for her.

 

Cassandra: I know that you have no love for the nobles, but to go up to Lady Lascif at the ball, kissing her, take all of her jewelry, and then bolt out of the window is excessive, even for you. It won't help to improve the reputation of the Inquisistion

 

Sera: *laughs* Or, it's the best way to represent us. If they let us help them, they won't even notice the coin they give us.

 

Cassandra: And, how exactly were you helping Lady Lascif?

 

Sera: Did you see how she kissed me back? She definatly needed it.

 

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Iron Bull: What's your personal record for foes killed with a single swing, Blackwall? I personaly am up to three.

 

Blackwall: In a single swing? I think it's two then.

 

IB: Ha!

 

Blackwall: But, in a single thrust, I've killed four. It is suprisingly easy when fighting darkspawn in tight tunnels.

 

IB: Aaaaah, I guess it's a draw then? How about we settle which of us is the best warrior, once we get back to the tavern?

 

Blackwall: Is a drinking contest realy the best way to prove which of us is the most skilled? Would'nt a duel, or a sparring match be much more fitting?

 

IB: Maybe, but what would you prefer? That we both walk away with bruises, or that we wake up the next morning, with the greatest headache imaginable?

 

Blackwall: ...Drinks it is then! *Laughs*

 

_____

 

Dorian: You arn't still moping about last night, I hope?

 

Varric: No, I'm not. But, I have to admit, I'm usualy better at it.

 

Dorian: I don't doubt that. It's just that you wern't used to how the people of Tevinter do it. That, and I am quite good at it.

 

Varric: Oh, don't get so full of yourself Curley. I'll get revenge on you tonight.

 

Inquisitor: Okay, I have to ask...what are you two talking about?

 

Dorian: Me and Varric played chess last night, and I won...was it three to zero?

 

Varric: Hey, it was three to one! And-...heh, what did you think we talked about, Inquisitor?

[GreyVsGray]

IB: How about it, Cadash?

Inq: For the third time, Bull, you are not throwing me because of "tactics"

IB: Come on! You can't tell me the idea doesn't intrigue you, right? A glowy hand of doom and mayhem!

Inq: Please, Bull, stop talking. No more mayhem, angry shouts, or quips about throwing me. For at least 1 minute.

IB: But-

Inq: One. Minute. Bull.

--------------

Cassandra: Varric, stop acting like a child. We have to work together.

Varric: Yes, let me be kind and understanding to my judge and jury. When are you getting your executioner license? You beat me, dragged me back to Kirkwall to interrogate me, and now you kidnap me to tell a story you already know to your damn religious leader? I thought I was free to go but I guess freedom is only as far as the leash will allow, huh Seeker?

Cassandra: I took no pleasure in doing any of that. I did what was necessary and you should be able to understand that.

Varric: I don't care about why you did or whether it was justified! I'm still being pressed into service by you. I'm up ****'s creek and I'm stuck with you. Do you understand how unpleasant that is to me?

Cassandra: Varric I just-

Varric: Don't even talk to me seeker. Just don't. Do your job and I'll stay as far as possible from you and this damnable crew.

-----------------

Cole: Cadash? Why is Sera so mean to me?

Inq: She fears for stupid reasons, Cole. She'll grow out of it or I'll order her to. What'd she do to you?

Cole: She splattered "freak" on all the walls in my room and threw my things around. What does that word mean exactly?

Inq: Something that you shouldn't ever be called, Cole. That's what it means. I'll have a chat with the dear archer about this incident. You're welcome to stay in my chambers for the moment.

Cole: Thank you! I'd like that!

[Caramacchiato]

Cole: Cadash? Why is Sera so mean to me?

Inq: She fears for stupid reasons, Cole. She'll grow out of it or I'll order her to. What'd she do to you?

Cole: She splattered "freak" on all the walls in my room and threw my things around. What does that word mean exactly?

Inq: Something that you shouldn't ever be called, Cole. That's what it means. I'll have a chat with the dear archer about this incident. You're welcome to stay in my chambers for the moment.

Cole: Thank you! I'd like that!

The feels...

[Zack1187]

Coming with some Banter between Varric and Cass, about the Inquisitor and Sera. Enjoy.

Cassandra: I still think its a bad idea.

Varric: Let them have their fun Seeker.

Cassandra: We have a world to save, fun isnt a factor.

Varric: Lighten up, The Warden was with Leliana when they stopped the Blight. Hawke was with Merrill.

Cassandra: Yes, but they werent skipping training to have sex in my room.

Varric: They did that? Im impressed.

Cassandra: Its unsanitary, she may be the only ome who can stop all this, but I swear I might end up killing her before she can.

Varric: Want me to talk to her? I'm good with words.

Cassandra: If you can convince her that training is necessary to close the breach then yes. Now, excuse me while I go. *She begins to walk away.*

Varric: Dont stab any books now!

Cassandra: Shut it Dwarf!

[GreyVsGray]

Inq: Sera, don't ever do that again. And I'm serious. That's beneath all of us.

Sera: No idea what you mean, boss. Refresh my memory.

Inq: One word then: Freak.

Sera: I heard It's room got trashed. Can't prove who it was though. It's a damn shame.

Inq: I know it was you. We all do.

Sera: What? You think I did it? Come off it! Even if it was my doing, what do you think you'll change by talking to me about it?

Inq: What is wrong with you? Why do you hate him so much? He's done nothing to you!

Sera: There's something wrong with you! And Bull and Dorian and everyone else but Viv! It is a freaky murderer and you're all acting like I'm the monster for treating that thing the way it dese-

Inq: ENOUGH! I HAVE HAD IT WITH YOU! Every single one of us is a murderer! What makes you so much better, hmm? You think that being an ass is so acceptable? Take a good long look at how you treat him and honestly tell me if you're the just party in this. Do monsters cry at being treated horribly? Do they plead their commander not to kick the offending party out? Ask for help in becoming more likable? Cole has done more to keep you here than you realize, Sera. Do anything else to him and I WILL remove you from this organization. And this world if need be.

(I think it'd be worth it for Cole to be hurt badly in some way by Sera if we get to harshly reprimand her for what she's done. I really think being really nice to Cole is going to be a way to make her leave the group entirely).