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The DA:I Party Banter Thread


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#701
Ignasious

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Sera: Say, Varric, can I ask something about the Champion of Kirkwall?

 

Cassandra (if present): You better give her the short version, whatever it is she plans to ask.

 

Varric: I bet I've told the stories about Hawke a dussin times already. But, I take it there is something in particular you want to know?

 

Sera: All you ever talk about is what the Champion did. You don't seem to talk much about the personal things.

 

Varric (if Rival with Hawke): Well, if you knew the Champion like I do, you know better than to badmouth him/her. S/he would probably yell her/his longues out if I said my personal opinion. All you need to know is, s/he's an a**

(if Friend with Hawke): Well, I do have enough respect for my friend, to not tell every bit of personal information about him/her. S/he's been through enough sh** as it is, without me spreading everything around.

 

Sera (in response to Rival): Maybe you should spread around every little secret of the champion then? Would be some good payback, at least. 

(In response to Friend): You, actually respecting someone's private life? *chuckles* Who are you, and what have you done to Varric?

 

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Cole: Vivienne...?

 

Vivienne: I am not going to talk to you, untill you put on some proper clothes, Cole.

 

Cole: What is wrong with what I am wearing right now?

 

Vivienne: *scoffs* Have you seen yourself in a mirror lately? You look like a scarecrow, who have traveled through half of Thedas, rolling in a barrel filled with nails and mud.

 

Cole: I don't look good in this?

 

Vivienne: No, you don't. You look even more dreadful than Solas.

 

Solas (if present): Don't drag me into this.

 

Cole: But, if I am to buy new clothes, it will cost. I don't want someone to pay for me.

 

Vivienne: *sigh*. Could you atleast consider washing your hair? It looks like a pile of hay.

 

Cole: I'll do my best.


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#702
GreyVsGray

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Cass: Inquisitor.. There's something we need to discuss.

Inq: This must be rather important.. You usually call me Cadash. What's on your mind?

Cass: I've been speaking to Iron Bull recently and he told me something rather.. Interesting.

Inq: Please tell me you're not volunteering for his "mayhem" stunts. Don't let the Qunari fool you, he's trying to kill SOMEONE. Don't let it be you.

Cass: That's actually not.. What?

Inq: Forget it. Go ahead, Cass.

Cass: He intimated that you're interested in me.. Romantically.

Inq: Yeah. This is where I send his head back the Arishok with dressings.

Cass: Do not deflect the question, Cadash.

Inq: The fact that you haven't punched me for a desire to fraternize with you can only mean you aren't wholly opposed to their being an "us" so...

Cass: An "us"!? Cadash, I-

Inq: Call me Darian, Cassandra. Kind of awkward to call you lover by their title or their last name, Eh? So.. Do you want me as well?

Cass: I.. I don't know what to say...

Inq: Yes. Yes would be nice.
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#703
Al Foley

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Cass: Inquisitor.. There's something we need to discuss.

Inq: This must be rather important.. You usually call me Cadash. What's on your mind?

Cass: I've been speaking to Iron Bull recently and he told me something rather.. Interesting.

Inq: Please tell me you're not volunteering for his "mayhem" stunts. Don't let the Qunari fool you, he's trying to kill SOMEONE. Don't let it be you.

Cass: That's actually not.. What?

Inq: Forget it. Go ahead, Cass.

Cass: He intimated that you're interested in me.. Romantically.

Inq: Yeah. This is where I send his head back the Arishok with dressings.

Cass: Do not deflect the question, Cadash.

Inq: The fact that you haven't punched me for a desire to fraternize with you can only mean you aren't wholly opposed to their being an "us" so...

Cass: An "us"!? Cadash, I-

Inq: Call me Darian, Cassandra. Kind of awkward to call you lover by their title or their last name, Eh? So.. Do you want me as well?

Cass: I.. I don't know what to say...

Inq: Yes. Yes would be nice.

Everyone say it with me "Awwwww"  

 

***

 

Inquisitor: Another rift, onward Inquisition!  

 

Cassandra:  Are you sure about this Inquisitor, we are running low on potions?  

 

Inquisitor: Nah, we've got this.  Dorian can cast barrier, and keep us under control.  

 

Dorian: *hands flash with magic* Right.  

 

Inquisitor: And the Iron Bull can bash people in their faces in.  

 

Cassandra:  They have faces?  

 

Bull: *strokes his axe a little too lovingly*  I prefer a straight up fight.  

 

Cassandra *sighs* Very well.  

 

*they rush off into battle and then a flash happens as they get there, there is a lot of people standing there, dressed in t-shirts, shorts, khakis, jeans*  

 

Fan 1: I can't believe that worked.  

 

Inquisitor:  Halt Demon...who are you?  *draws sword* 

 

Fan 1:  We are not demons we are...

 

Fan 2:  OMG OMG OMG OMG its Cassandra!  *squeals, runs up, and starts hugging Cassandra's leg*.  

 

Cassandra: Uh...Inquisitor...this demon is hugging my leg.  

 

Fan 1.  We are not DEMONS WE ARE....

 

Fan 3:  This is neat...this is neat *starts taking pictures with cameras* 

 

Iron Bull: Halt!  What is that magical device!  

 

Fan 1:  We are...your fandom.  

 

Cassandra:  Fandom Demon?  What kind of emotion is a 'fandom'?  

 

Fan 1:  No..fans...you are a...uh...well that is to say... we really like the good work you do.  

 

Inquisitor:  Oh, thank you good citizen.  *holds out hand*  

 

Cassandra:  This could all be some trap...

 

Fan 2:  Why would I ever hurt my lovely Cassandra.  

 

Cassandra:  Get off of me tramp...


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#704
The Ascendant

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Trev and Cass.
Trev: So let's get this straight. The Chantry is blaming me, for the Breach?
Cass: Unfortunately yes.
Trev: And they're calling me a heretic?
Cass: You and the Inquisition.
Trev: So I'm an apostate, heretical, Inquisitor and Herald of Andraste. Hmm. This is all the Chantry does these days, call me names? You think they would be more concerned about the end of the freaking world?!
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#705
BraveVesperia

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*in the Fallow Marsh, on a stormy night* (I think that's the name)

 

Solas: Be careful, the Veil is very thin here.

Sera: *jittery* The Veil's thin everywhere! All those holes, like a pair of decade-old underpants.

Inquisitor: We'll be fine. I'm sure those stories about undead villagers were just an exaggeration.

Solas: Oh, you heard that one?

Sera: Stop that.

Inquisitor: About the horde of restless dead waiting in the marsh waters to pull people under?

Cole: Can I hear the story?

Sera: No.

Solas: Apparently, they are the corpses of villagers who once lived in this area, until a mage sundered the Veil. In their fear and panic, the mage called forth demons of terrors and nightmares.

Sera: Stop. Talking. About. It.

Solas: The demons tore through the village, killing anyone in their path. Travellers sometimes claim to see survivors moving about the marsh, but those are no survivors... simply corpses animated by the demons, driven by their urge to feed on flesh. They stalk their prey for miles across the marsh, waiting for their moment to strike.

Cole: *appears just behind Sera*

Solas: And just when the travellers drop their guard...

Cole: Boo.

Sera: *jumps* AAAAARGH! You arseholes! You bloody arseholes!

Inquisitor: I guess I owe you twenty silver.

Solas: It was easier than I expected. Thank you, Cole.

*the party suddenly hears a loud shrieking noise*

Sera: Seriously, cut that out!

Cole: Um... that wasn't me.

*multiple shrieking noises*

Sera: Time to run away?

Cole: *nods*


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#706
Senya

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Trev: Please...

Cass: No.

Trev: Please...

Cass: No...

Trev: Don't tell me you've never been to these things.

Cass: There were perks in joining a holy order. Never having to attend another ball was one of them.

Trev: You're the only person I can bring. Bringing Sera is just asking for disaster. Iron Bull would disappear with whoever would like to "ride the Bull". Blackwall wouldn't be able to stand it and Varric flat out refuses. Dorian is a Magister. As for Cole... He is a child. I'd rather not ruin his innocence. And Vivienne would force me to adhere to EVERY stupid Orlesian rule.

Cassandra: What about Josephine? She seems most suited for this task.

Trev: She's still going... But there is no one I'd want to spend the night with other than you.

Cassandra: I-

Iron Bull: (walking in as he hears the the last sentence) Making time for some fun, hmm? (Grins suggestively)

Cass: We have no time for fraternization, Qunari. (Leaves)

Trev: ....
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#707
Al Foley

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*in some random road in the Hinterlands*  

 

Orzamar town Crier: News of the Hour, Dragon Age Inquisition has gone gold! Expect massive distractions at school, work, and home!  

 

Leilianna: What are you doing here?  Why aren't you in Orzamar.  

 

OTC:  Uh...IDK to be honest with you.  Some guy just heard my voice in his head when he heard the news.  

 

Varric:  What news?  

 

OTC: That DA I has gone gold.  

 

Inquisitor: What is...DA I?  

 

OTC:  Its a Video game.  

 

Iron Bull: Whats a...video...game?  

 

OTC:  Beats me, I was just told to spread the word around...now if you'll excuse me.  NEWS OF THE HOUR, DRAGON AGE INQUISITION HAS NOW GONE GOLD...

 

Inquisitor: What a peculiar fellow.  

 

Varric: Why do you think that I left Orzamar for?  

 

*the group goes off, for further adventure*

 

(Thank you to BioWare for all the hard work and the dedication you have put in for the last four years.  In my own humble way, as an aspiring writer, this is my way of honoring you.  Good luck to Inqusition and all your future gaming endeavors)


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#708
Little Princess Peach

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Cass: I find you irritating and idiotic

Inqui: and yet you slept with me last night -gins-

Cass: I don't have a big enough sword to kill you with right now....

Varric: this sort of sounds familiar but I can't put my finger on it.....


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#709
Kreidian

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Adaar: So let me get this straight, you imprison me, threaten me with death, blame me for all the demons in the sky, and the moment you realize I'm the only one who can fix this you suddenly want me to join you and your new band on an impossible mission to save the world?

 
Varric: You gotta hand it to her, Seeker, Horns here has a pretty good grasp of the situaiton.
 
Cassandra: *groans* Look, I understand the unfortunate situation leading up to -
 
Adaar: Alright, I'll do it.
 
Cassandra: *blinks* You ... what?
 
Varric: Really? You will?
 
Adaar: Sure, why not? Sound like fun.
 
Varric: I can think of a couple of reasons why not. And more then a few recent examples.
 
Adaar: *shrugs* Eh, that's no big deal really. Plus from the look of things if I don't help you the whole world would be facing certain death, not just me.
 
Cassandra: You are alright with this then?
 
Adaar: Well don't get me wrong, you still owe me an apology for the whole sword throat thing. But given the circumstances I can hardly blame you. Humans do tend to act pretty nervous around Qunari, Vashoth or otherwise.
 
Varric: Do most humans you meet want to see you in chains or dead based solely on their first impression?
 
Adaar: It's the horns; they are quite big, apparently.

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#710
Hinjo

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Varric: So... you fight against authority and centuries old system, right?

Dorian: Yes. I want to create new Tevinter. Tevinter without slaves and blood magic.

Varric: Mhm. So, are you going to blow up the Imperial Chantry?

Dorian: It's ugly building, but... why the hell I would do THAT?

Varric: Alright... so, what about going blue and slay innocent?

Dorian: NO!

Varric: Do you like cats?

Dorian: I prefer dogs.

Varric: Really? Oh, maybe you're alright then...


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#711
Little Princess Peach

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Iorn Bull- 45 mages on the wall 45 mages,you knock one down and then blood magic goes around 44 mages left on the wall

 

Solas- What are you singing bull?

 

Iorn Bull- counting how many mages are on that wall

 

Varric- oh let me join in

 

Bull&Varric- 43 mages on the wall theres 43 mages you knock one down and blood magic goes around and a dragon almost kills Hawke...

Varric: duck!!

 

Dorian- so your a warden?

Blackwall, yes so?

Dorian- you want to check me for any taints you naughty boy

Blackwall- what?

Dorian- I saw you looking at me sexy physic

Blackwall- no I was looking at your head

Dorian- oh?

Blackwall- Yeah just thinking of a good way to chop it off care to share some ideas?

Dorian- How rude