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[Cespar]

Cassandra/Vivienne

 

Cassandra: What's it that you exactly stand for, Vivienne?

 

Vivienne: Why do you ask, dear? Believe I may turn on you? Stand with my fellow mages?

 

Cassandra: Would you if it came to that?

 

Vivienne: Dear, I believe in order and tradition, but what the mages and templars are doing … it isn't what I stand for.

 

Cassandra: You surprise me sometimes, Vivienne. Hopefully, the Inquisitor can close up these veil, and maybe we can settle everything.

 

Vivienne: Hopefully dear, hopefully. 

[Schreckstoff]

Seras: Elves are more dextreous and swift.

 

Iron Bull: Kossith are stronger, tougher.

 

Varric: Dwarves are smarter, better looking too.

 

Human Inquisitor: And humans...?

 

All others: Erm...

Inquisitor: Fertile.

[Wolfen09]

Cassandra:  So Bull, it was impressive the way you took down that wyvern today.

 

Iron Bull:  Ya liked that did you?  Its all about finding the right spot to hit on the back of its neck.  Kind of like chopping fire wood.

 

Cassandra:  Except it moves and spits acid at you.

 

Iron Bull:  Ya haven't seen qunari firewood have you?

 

Cassandra:  Bullshit.

[Wolfen09]

Vivene:  So Sera, I hear you fancy the more feminine delicacies of orlais.

 

Sera:  Are you kidding?  I could never afford to go buy dresses and shoes like that, and why would I?  It would just slow me down.

 

Vivene:  Perhaps you missed my intent?

 

Sera:  Oh...........  So thats what you meant.  Well the answer is yes.  A person I once met told me that men are only good for one thing and that women are good for six, and ive found that she was right.

 

Vivene:  Sounds like something a pirate would say.

[Wolfen09]

Varric:  Well Inquisitor, have you fought any dragons?

 

Inquisitor:  No, I think I would remember fighting a dragon.

 

Varric:  Any ogres, griffons, wyverns, or crazy mages?

 

Inquisitor:  Not anything special worth noting.

 

Varric:  C'mon, you gotta give me something i can write down and blow immensely out of proportion.

 

Inquisitior:  Well, there was that group of nugs we just got through killing.

 

Varric:  *Face Palms*

[KC_Prototype]

Varric:  Inquisitor I think we need to get some more muscle in our little group.

 

Inquisitor:  What for?  Cassandra and myself are more than enough muscle.

 

Varric:  No offense, but the only thing you got is a glowing hand, you're not very intimidating.

 

Inquisitor:  ................

 

Varric:  Aw c'mon dont be like that, if anything the seeker is intimidating enough for both of you.

I want Varric to say that if we romance Cassandra! That's good! I'll be offended but it's good!

[Wolfen09]

Dorian:  What's wrong Varric?  You seem to be mumbling to yourself.

 

Varric:  Im having trouble coming up with a name for you.

 

Dorian:  You know me, Im Dorian.  How could you forget.

 

Varric:  I meant a nickname, I give them to everybody.  Well, everybody who wont chop off my head and hang me in a tree for the buzzards.

 

Dorian:  Well, how about Magister?  Or Spirit Fingers, or Lord Dorian Magistrate of Whitacre Tower?

 

Varric:  You want to be called "Lord Dorian Magistrate of Whitacre Tower?"  Heh I'd go with Dramatic Hands Mustache Guy before I went with that.  Im just gonna call you Sparkles and leave it at that.

 

Dorian:  ............................

[Ferico21]

Hello everyone. Newbie here just joined. Seems like the perfect place to start off.

 

Vivienne catches Ironbull looking at her funny*

 

V:What is it? Do I have something on my robe?

I: What's on your head?....Those aren't horns are they?

V: Of course not! Don't be ridiculous. You aren't suggesting I look like a quanari are you?

I: I'm just saying the hat could fit my sister. 

Jab*

I: AUGGHH MY GOOD EYE!

[KC_Prototype]

Solas/Vivienne/Sera

 

Vivienne: Do all elves dress in such rags Solas?

 

Solas: What? These aren't rags!

 

Sera: No, not all elves

 

Vivienne: We we get back to camp, I'm gonna get you a whole new wardrobe Solas

 

Solas: Ughhhhh, I don't need any clothes, these are fine

 

Sera: If by fine, you mean nobody in their right mind would be caught dead in them then yeah

 

Solas: I just wish you guys would leave me alone....

 

Vivienne: And I wish you had style, but I can't perform miracles...maybe sometimes

[KC_Prototype]

Male Inquisitor/LI Cassandra/Varric

 

Inquisitor: Cass, why are you humming? Was I that good last night?

 

Cassandra: No...Well yes but it's more than that

 

Inquisitor: Really? Then what is it?

 

Cassandra: I don't know how to describe it with out being made fun of.

 

Inquisition: Go ahead, I won't make fun of you

 

Varric: But I might

 

Cassandra: Well, you broke through to me and saw into my soul...You touched my heart and didn't turn away...I love you

 

Inquisitor: Uh, I love you too Cass

 

Varric: Oh get a room you too

[Wolfen09]

Blackwall:  You know Bull, we could use a guy like you in the wardens.

 

Iron Bull:  I guess you could, its not everyday you see a god of pure masculinity and ferocity.

 

Blackwall:  Please, I could best you in all those categories hands down.

 

Iron Bull:  Fine, let's have a contest.  First to 50 ales wins.

 

Blackwall:  You're on!

 

Sera:  Pretty sure this has nothing to do with their initial conversation.

 

Varric:  Yeah, but this is a lot more interesting to watch.

[Ferico21]

Sera: Hey Varric, you seem to tell a lot of stories. Have you ever considered writing a book?

 

Varric: Oh I have given a lot of thought into that, but why bother when the true value of a hero's tale comes from the way it is told to the masses.

Voice gives it meaning and makes it truly believable. 

.

Sera: Guess I never thought about it in that way before.

 

Varric: Also Cass seems to have a hobby of stabbing books of mine.

 

Cassandra: Hey!

[The Qun & the Damned]

After long awkward silence between Varric and Bull at an inn.

 

• Varric: So. Qunari.
• Bull: Technically, yes.
• Varric: Technically?
• Bull: I've been living outside of the Qun and the Ben-Hassrath for quite a while. They don't know that, but if they did, they'd probably reeducate me, impale on principle, or some other doom-inducing crap.
• Varric: Ah, got it.

Not knowing what else to say...

• Bull: So. Dwarf.
• Varric: Same story, just with hornless over-glorified midgets that live in a hole and me not giving a rats ass about them.

[Wolfen09]

Varric:  I go from a moody rebel mage with feather pauldrons to an uptight high and mighty mage with horns for a hat.

 

Vivene:  You say something darling?

 

Varric:  Nope, must have been the wind.

 

Vivene:  I find that hard to believe, as the wind doesnt mumble.

 

Varric:  What can I say, when you're in Orlais, the wind can tap dance as long as the empress commands it.

[The Ascendant]

Elf Mage Inquisitor and Vivienne
E: Lady Vivienne I need your help.
V: I can help you in a number of ways your Eminence, but you'll have to be more specific.
E: As you are aware the Empress is throwing a ball for us and I don't know how to dance.
V: WHAT!? How is that possible.
E: Apparently wandering the land and studying history, magic and Dalish customs didn't include an in depth study of how to dance like humans.
V: Why should I?
E: I'll dance with and let you pick out my wardrobe.
V: Deal.

[XMissWooX]

So I couldn't think of a *single* banter for days, and then suddenly they all come along in one 30 minute commute!



Blackwall: "My dear lady, you have been giving me surreptitious looks for the past half hour now. Is there something about my appearance that you find disconcerting?"
Vivienne: "That beard..."
Blackwall: "Ah."
Vivienne: "It's so... thick, and coarse, and-"
Inquisitor: "-Manly?"
Vivienne: "-*Dirty*! There are *breadcrumbs* in it!"
Blackwall: "I was saving them for later. Killing Demons gives me quite the appetite."
Vivienne: "...Couldn't you at least braid it?"
Blackwall: "No!"
Inquisitor: "No!"



Iron Bull: "You need a shield."
Blackwall: "I beg your pardon?"
Iron Bull: "A shield. You need to get yourself one. And a longsword."
Blackwall: "But I like my greatsword."
Iron Bull: "Well, you can't use it."
Blackwall: "Why ever not?"
Iron Bull: "Because *I* use a two-hander. And we can't *both* use one."
Blackwall: "...We can't?"
Iron Bull: "No."



Sera: "I don't know how you can stand to use use that crossbow Varric. It looks so... heavy and cumbersome."
Varric: "What? Bianca's not "heavy" or "cumbersome"! You take that back!"
Sera: "Okay, okay, I'm sorry..."



Varric: "What is it with you Fereldans?"
Inquisitor: "Fereldans?"
Varric: "First Andraste, then the Hero of Ferelden, then the Champion of Kirkwall, and now the Inquisitor! Where do you all keep coming from?"
Inquisitor: "...Well, when you're born in the mud, you can't exactly sink any lower."
Varric: "Fair point."

[The Qun & the Damned]

^Oh shite, that last one 

[XMissWooX]

And just a few more, trying to incorporate different party members.

Inquisitor: "Varric, when you tell this story in camp later tonight, can you leave out the part where I tripped on the hem of my cloak?"
Varric: "Huh? But that was the best part of the fight!"
Inquisitor: "It was embarrassing..."
Varric: "Inquisitor, if I left out *every* embarrassing moment the story'd only be five minutes long."
Inquisitor: "Maker Varric, I'm not *that* bad!"
Varric: "Oh? I've seen you run backwards into a tree because you were too busy looking at a stray fireball. I've seen you get one of your daggers stuck between a skeleton's ribs for a whole minute before you could get it out again. *And* you've landed on your ass more often than on your feet... I'm just sayin'."
Inquisitor: "...I could have your tongue cut out, you know..."
Varric: "You wouldn't dare!"



Dorian: "Vivienne, you seem a cultured sort."
Vivienne: "Naturally, dear."
Dorian: "Do you perchance know anything about the Pavus family?"
Vivienne: "Pavus? As in *your family name*?"
Dorian: "We have a long and impressive history of skilled Mages. Thousands of years of magical ability flows through my veins. My great-grandfather would have been made Archon, had he not turned the position down."
Vivienne: "You certainly did not inherit his modesty."
Dorian: "And yet, here I am, many miles from home, fighting alongside the Inquisition."
Vivienne: "Or his intellect. Why ever would you forgo such a life for one like this?"
Dorian: "I have values. And they mean more to me than power or wealth."
Vivienne: "...Couldn't you have all three?"



Cole: "Inquisitor, could you tell Sera that one of her arrows almost hit me in the last battle."
Inquisitor: *opens mouth*
Sera: "Inquisitor, could you tell 'it' that it should stay out of the way of my arrows in future if it doesn't want to get shot."
Inquisitor: *closes mouth*
Cole: "Inquisitor, could you tell Sera that her aim must be terrible if she can't tell friend from foe and suggest she needs to work on it."
Inquisitor: "..."
Sera: "Inquisitor, could you tell 'it' that my aim is perfectly fine and that *I* think that *it* should work on its weilding technique."
Cole: "Inquisitor, tell her that my technique is just as good as yours!"
Sera: "Tell it that it looked like a headless chicken with blades strapped to its hands!"
Cole: "Tell her that I killed more bandits than she did!"
Inquisitor: "Sto-"
Cole: "And also, that her hair looks stupid."
Sera: *gasp* "Says you!"

[TheLittleBird]

Oh Maker I love all of those. Keep 'em coming MissWoo. 

[Queen of Evil]

Love the Cole/Sera banter misswoo. muchly amusing

[KC_Prototype]

*snip*
Varric: "What is it with you Fereldans?"
Inquisitor: "Fereldans?"
Varric: "First Andraste, then the Hero of Ferelden, then the Champion of Kirkwall, and now the Inquisitor! Where do you all keep coming from?"
Inquisitor: "...Well, when you're born in the mud, you can't exactly sink any lower."
Varric: "Fair point."

Hey! Don't dissing Ferelden! It's home! Represent

[XMissWooX]

Hey! Don't dissing Ferelden! It's home! Represent

Oh, I *love* Ferelden!
But the way I see it, if you can make it there, you can make it anywhere.

[XMissWooX]

One more before bed!
A few lines from each party member regarding horses and mounts.

*The party walks past a stable*

Blackwall: "Ah! Now that's a noble beast. And look at the mane on him!"
Inquisitor: "It's *almost* as impressive as yours."

Cole: "Inquisitor, could I get a horse, like yours?"
Inquisitor: "I... don't think that's such a good idea. He might forget that you were on his back and wander off somewhere. Best not to confuse the poor thing."

Vivienne: "Ugh, filthy beast."
Inquisitor: "You'd probably find it more palatable with a plaited mane, with ribbons and beads weaved though it's hair."
Vivienne: "Don't forget the hairdye."
Inquisitor: "Do they make hats for horses?"

Sera: "I heard that the Dalish use Halla instead of horses. Can you imagine?"
Inquisitor: "I can imagine them bounding through the forest, long legs whipping through the grass, antlers gleaming in the sunlight-"
Sera: "-Snooty Dalish rider tumbling through the air and landing on his backside."
Inquisitor: "So graceful..."

Cassandra: "You should pick up some new tack whilst we're here, Inquisitor. Your current equipment is quite worn."
Inquisitor: "You're right. I was thinking of getting some tack with *hearts* inscribed on them..."
Cassandra: "I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about."

Iron Bull: "Hmm. I once lost a bet and had to spend the next week riding around on this *teeny tiny* pony."
Inquisitor: "I'd have paid to see that!"
Iron Bull: "You're on!"

Dorian: *shakes head* "Inquisitor you shame yourself by riding that old nag. You need something more striking - like a Wyvern."
Inquisitor: "Last time we went up against a Wyvern, part of your robe got disintegrated by its poison."
Dorian: "On second thoughts, keep the nag."

Varric: "Hey, that reminds me, did you ever find that mystical Unicorn you went looking for?"
Inquisitor: "Don't ever mention that 'Unicorn' again."

Solas: "..."
Inquisitor: "What was that, Solas?"
Solas: "..."
Inquisitor: "Oh right, you haven't been properly revealed yet."


Edit: because Solas has been revealed now!

Solas: "I notice the horses become quite skittish around you Inquisitor. Perhaps it is linked to the mark on your hand?"
Inquisitor: "Could be. Or it could just be that they remember the last time I was left to saddle a horse myself."
Solas: "How do you mean?"
Inquisitor: "Let's just say there's a *right* way to fit a saddle, and a *wrong* way to fit a saddle. And the wrong way results in an unpleasant experience for both horse and rider."

[Gikia-Kimikia]

I figured, since mini-dialogues are my thing, and I just posted this in the Dorian thread, I ought to do it here too. As my introduction, let's say, since I'm proud of this one.

 

Inquisitor: *standing in the war room, poring over the maps and deep in thought*

Dorian: *walks in* Inquisitor, I thought you should know that I think Cole has stuffed another day's worth of pastries up the... Maker!

Quizzy: *looks up in alarm* Hm? What's wrong, Dorian?

Dorian: What the Flames are you wearing?!

Quizzy: *looks down at self* Uh... clothes...?

Dorian: *splutters* Clo... you... that's... you can't possibly... Maker save us, VIVIENNE!

Vivienne: *arrives, disgruntled, glaring at Dorian* What is it now, Dorian? I am very busy getting the stains from the strawberry preserves out of my silks thanks to that boy's antics, and I...

Dorian: *covers eyes and gestures dramatically at the Inquisitor* LOOK.

Vivi: *horrified scream* Oh dear sweet Andraste, no! No, no, no, no!

Dorian: *horrified whisper* The Inquisitor thinks those are clothes.

Vivi: *covers face with hands* Those aren't clothes  darling. You are wearing circus attire.

Quizzy: *scowls* Hey, but I...

Vivi: Ah, ah, ah, AH! I don't want to  hear your excuses, I am fixing this.

Scribbles: *runs up* First Enchanter, I heard a scream, what ever is the... Inquisitor, really? AGAIN?! *exasperated look*

Vivi: My darling, so glad you've arrived, I need you to place the usual orders for material. I will contact my favorite tailors to arrive as soon as possible for measurements, this needs to end today. How much can we allocate towards clothing the Inquisitor?

Scribbles: *purses lips* Don't worry, First Enchanter, I already have a surplus set aside for just such an occasion.

Vivi: *relieved sigh* Ah, see, this  is why you're my favorite. Oh, and we must contact Sister Nightingale regarding footwear as well, she has quite the eye for that. Where was she last, around Redcliffe, or...?

Scribbles: She should be back within the week, actually. I got word that she took ship not five days ago.

Vivi: Excellent! Now, about disposing of the Inquisitor's current... er... attire...

Quizzy: *snaps* There is nothing wrong with my clothes!  They're just comfortable! Don't I get a say in any of this?!

Dorian: *grabs the Inquisitor's hands and coos comfortingly* Ssshh, don't worry, Inquisitor, you are in excellent hands! Now, I'm sure you have something  in your closet that isn't an insult to all sensibility...

Scribbles: *dryly* I doubt that.

Dorian: *glares at her* Shush, my dear! More flies with honey than vinegar.

Quizzy: ... I hate you. I hate you all.

[That Rude Yogurt]

Varric: You know, I used to know a guy like you.

 

Dorian: Oh? Do tell.

 

Varric: He was also a Tevinter runaway. Hated what the Magisters were doing, and all that. Went on about it for hours.

 

Dorian: And did women swoon as he passed?

 

Varric: ...Actually, yes.

 

Sera: Then there is a difference.