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[Clockwork_Wings]

Came up with these gems when I realized how likely it is that Cullen will be the lucky man to sweep my saarabas off her feet.

 

 

Varric: So, about you and mages...

Cullen: *sighs* Not this again...*

Varric: I'm just wondering, what is it like being the one thing mages fear, and then being in a committed relationship with one who could pick you up with one hand and snap you in half like a twig?

Cullen:...I hate you, dwarf.

 

 

Varric: What was it Blondie said...

Cullen: What now?  More about me and mages?

Varric: No.  Well...I'm trying to remember...how did he put it?  It was something Blondie asked Aveline...

Cullen:  Put what?

Varric:  I remember now.  Do the two of you ever play the new recruit and the naughty mage?

Cullen: I hate you, dwarf.

[setrus86]

Nice one, clockworkwings!

 

Sera: You really ought to learn how to use daggers, Varric.

/

Varric (If he's put points into that skill): Oh I have...*whispers*...just don't tell Bianca.

 

Sera: *giggles*

/

 

Varric (if he hasn't put points into that skill): Now that's just silly, that's for people like the Seeker...I find it better to kill at range, you know, intelligently.

 

Cassandra (if she's in the party): I heard that.

 

Varric: I need none but Bianca to see me out of trouble, I assure you.

 

Sera: I know, I know, still, it's just that...err...

 

Varric: Yes?

 

Sera: You're just the perfect height to put in some really critical hits on anything but another dwarf.

 

If present in the party

 

Vivienne: Eugh, disgusting, Sera.

 

Iron Bull: Heh, I like it, he better watch out for kicks though.

 

Solas: Ah, and here I thought you'd momentarily gotten your head out of the gutter...

 

Cole: I don't get it.

 

Blackwall: Fighting honourably is becoming something of a rarity, it seems...

 

Dorian: I didn't need that mental image.

 

Continuing:

 

Varric: Well you see, Sera...now you've turned me off the idea rather than the other way around.

 

Sera: *snickering* Ah you big baby. 

 

 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Inquisitior: And there's the dragon.

 

Sera: Really? You sure? Maybe it's just a scaly bear?

 

Vivienne: Sarcasm doesn't suit you, dear.

 

Varric: Really? I thought she pulled it off rather nicely.

 

Vivienne: Of course you did.

 

Sera: Why are you so grumpy today? Did Iron Bull steal your hat again?

 

Vivienne: The Iron Bull has never...eugh...I won't be drawn into another argument, damn you both.

 

Varric: Ah well, next time then, Sera?

 

Sera: Sure, this is fun!

 

Vivienne: *sighing*

 

Inquisitior:  Dragon. Straight ahead. Could we focus on that?

 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Iron Bull: The Seeker is one mean lady. Did you see her with that new recruit, chewed him out until he cried.

 

Varric: I did tell you about when she questioned me, right? I'm well aware of how rough she can get.

 

Iron Bull: To be fair, that man had it coming, his greaves were a disgrace.

 

Varric: Whatever you say.

 

Iron Bull: Oh don't get testy, I'm sure she's really nice underneath the chill.

 

Varric: Heh, okay...maybe if one gets like a dozen stiff drinks into her.

 

Iron Bull: Well, a stiff something, at least.

 

Varric: And what poor sod would volunteer for that?

 

Inquisitor: Ahem.

 

Varric: Erm...

 

Iron Bull: Oh we're in trouble with the teacher now...hehe.

 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Varric: So where's your javelin?

 

Iron Bull: Excuse me?

 

Varric: Back in Kirkwall, the Qunari looooved their javelins.

 

Iron Bull: Well I don't, javelins run out. 

 

Varric: *grumbling* I don't remember them doing so...

[TheLittleBird]

Cole / Varric

 

Cole: Say Varric, don't you think it's a little odd?

 

Varric: What is?

 

Cole: You naming your crossbow 'Bianca'. I mean, is there a story behind it?

 

Varric: Oh, there's a story behind everything. But now is not the time nor place to tell you that one.

 

Cole: That's a shame. But do you think I could name my daggers anything?

 

Varric: Now there's an interesting thought. Did you have any ideas?

 

Cole: Well, I stab people with them all the time... what about Stabs?

 

Varric: Hmm... *mumbles* actually, that would be a pretty good one for her.

 

Cole: Who are you talking about?

 

Varric: Didn't I ever tell you of the time I met Cassandra, Ghost?

 

Cole: No, I don't think so. If you did, I can't remember.

 

Iron Bull: *starts laughing*

 

Varric: Remind me to tell you all about it when we get back to Skyhold. You'll rather enjoy it.

[TheLittleBird]

Sera / Dorian

 

Sera: I'm sorry, Dorian.

 

Dorian: For what?

 

Sera: For the loss of your former mentor, Alexius.

 

Dorian: I appreciate the sentiment, but I thought you always said bad guys deserve things like this.

 

Sera: Yeah, but I don't think people like you should lose friends in ways like this.

 

Dorian: Ah, so you do have a heart.

 

Sera: What's that supposed to mean?!

 

Dorian: I'm only joking. Your heart's bigger than Iron Bull's-

 

Sera: Iron Bull's what?

 

Dorian: Never mind that.

 

Sera: If you say so.

- - - - - - - - - -

 

Follow-up conversation (because every Dragon Age game has also had these)

 

Sera: You never gave me an answer, you know.

 

Dorian: An answer to what, Sera? 

 

Sera: You said my heart's "bigger than Iron Bull's"... something.

 

Dorian: Ah, that. I think I told you to forget about that.

 

Sera: But what is it?

 

Dorian: Do you really want me to tell you?

 

Sera: I'm not ignorant, you know. I know exactly what you meant.

 

Dorian: Then why speak of this?

 

Sera: Was it Iron Bull's... 'Charger'?

 

Dorian: Oh, please, quit it.

 

Sera: To be fair, you started it.

[cjones91]

Varric:"So...what are you up to,Inquisitor Ena?"

 

Ena:"Nothing much,just killing some time by reading this spell tome."

 

Varric:Hmm....don't you always read the same one though?"

 

Ena:"Yes,but this tome has pictures and stuff,not to mention it contains some very powerful spells that I plan to use whenever we run into another dragon."

 

Varric:"I see,well if you are up to it the Seeker has left her armor and sword unattended.I was thinking maybe you might want to play one your pranks."

 

Ena:"Oh that?Yeah I already hid it a hour ago,I also placed a incantation on her food bowl so that it'll explode during dinner."

 

Varric:Hahaha!You are good at this,we should form a team based on witty one liners and making people laugh."

 

Ena:"That sounds like a good i-"

 

Cassandra:"Ena!Where is my armor and sword?"

 

Ena:"Huh?I have no idea,did you misplace them or something?"

 

Cassandra:I am not in the mood for your jokes today,I was planning on getting my armor updated and my sword enchanted until I saw they were both gone.Only you would do such a thing."

 

Varric:"Not true,Ghost Boy can turn invisible.He probaly wanted to try them out."

 

Cassandra:"Hmm.....very well then.I will go speak with Cole at once and if I find out he does'nt have my sword and armor I will personally make you replace them."(Cass storms out of the room while Ena snickers behind her back).

 

Ena:"For being a Seeker Cassandra did not look hard enough."(Ena gets up and pulls back the tarp near the table that revealed Cass's missing armor and weapon.

 

Varric:"Nice one."

Ena:"But of course."

[DRTJR]

Solas: Cole, last night you rubbed my head then left. Why did you do that?

Cole: Varric said it brings luck to rub a bald Elf's head.

Solas: Did he now? Did this act bring you great fortune in the night.

Cole: Well, I stubbed my on a coin purse on the way out.

Varric; Wait! Bartrand was right about that... Huh.

Solas: Well in the future please refrain from doing that again with out asking.

[Ninjasplaycardgames2]

I would love it if Cole said " I don't get it" every time someone says an innuendo. 

[sky_captain]

Varric, Iron Bull

 

V- So Sera tells me that you don't think you can toss me, that I'm too dense.

 

IB- What's it to you, I didn't think that you dwarves liked to be tossed anyway.

 

V- True, true it just surprises me that that you don't think you could do it.

 

IB- I didn't say that I couldn't, perhaps we should give it a try.

 

V- Sorry Bull, but Bianica gets jealous whenever there is too much talk of people giving me a toss.

[RebbyWriter]

I'm really digging some of these. Let me give it a try.

 

 

 

Vivienne: I'm sort of seeing someone, you know.

 

Sera: What?

 

Vivinne: He's the brother of a count. Very handsome. Connected, too.

 

Sera: Viv, are you playing the "I have a imaginary boyfriend" card on me?

 

Vivienne: He's not imaginary! He's the brother of a count!

 

Sera: I see, and the point in telling me all of this would be...?

 

Vivienne: Listen, I know you like women and...I just wanted to let you off easy.

 

Sera: Wait. You think I'm interested in you?

 

Vivienne: ......Well....You do like women, right?

 

Sera: Oh, that is true. You're just not my type.

 

Varric: Sera, you might not be a mage but that was one excellent burn.

[Clockwork_Wings]

This one is modeled after a headcanon, and takes place when meeting King Alistair and Queen Anora.

*From behind a locked door*
Anora: Contrary to what you did at the landsmeet, the king's by-blows by some harlot are generally NOT in line for the throne!
*Breaking glass*
Warden Aeducan/Brosca: In Orzamaar, the king is encouraged to take many concubines to produce swords and heirs for his house!
*Loud thump*
Anora: This isn't Orzamaar!
Warden: It is if the king says it is!
*Alistair peers from under a tablecloth*
Alistair: Shhh. Don't tell them where I'm at.

[cjones91]

This a follow to the the dialogue scene from yesterday.

 

Ena:"Look at me!I'm a big and powerful Seeker,cower demons because I shall slay you with both sword and magic."

 

Cassandra:"Ena.....!(Cass angrily glares at Ena who turns around to see her.)

 

Ena:"Uh....good day Cassandra.I take it your washed the stew out of your hair from last night's mishap?"

 

Cassandra:"Is that my sword and armor you are wearing?I knew it!!"

 

Ena:"I was keeping them safe for you...honest."

 

Cassandra:"Give them back."

 

Ena:"Huh?"

 

Cassandra:"I said give back my armor and blade!"

 

Ena:"Make me."(Ena flashes a smile as Cass chased her around the room.)

 

Varric:"What's with all the shouting?Bianca needed her beauty sleep."Varric enters the room only to find Ena half naked as Cass held pieces of armor in her hand.

 

Varric:"Well what have we here?I would never think you two will be trying to fool around in the morning."

 

Cassandra:"That is not happening,I am simply trying to retrieve my armor from Ena but she is too busy attempting to be funny.I am not amused."

 

Ena:"You may not be but I am."(Ena sidesteps Cass while running behind the desk.)

 

Varric:"I'll leave now."

 

A hour later....Sera was eating and noticed Ena was in her garb covered in bumps and bruises.

 

Sera:"What happened to you?"

 

Ena:"I was playing a prank on Cassandra who did'nt find it funny,she pretty much snatched the armor right off of me.

 

Sera:"(Jealous) Really now?"

Cassandra:"It's not what you think....now if you excuse me I must go to the blacksmith and enchanter shop."

 

Ena:"Alright see you at the next battle meeting."(Ena smiled at Cass who simply leaves the Keep with a grumpy look while Sera continues to look in her direction."

 

Ena:"What?"

 

Sera:"Nothing."

[KC_Prototype]

From another thread. Cassandra threatens you on your initial meeting. *Male Inquisitor* Also credit Bluedrake89 and The Elder King

 

Cassandra: You're the only threat I see!

Inquisitor: Hey girl, no need to flex your sword when I can flex mine *charmingly smiles*

Cassandra: I don't know...Do you want your "sword" cut off?!

Inquisitor: *frighten by that threat* No.....NO! I'm good!

Cassandra: And stop staring at my chest!

inquisitor: I wasn't!

Cassandra: *death glare*

Inquisitor: ...I'll be good.

Cassandra: Stay here, I'll be back in a second. I must go converse with the Sister and ask what to do with you.

Inquisitor: You already know what to do with me *winks*

Cassandra: *punches the Inquisitor* Shut up! Be right back

Inquisitor: *says this thinking she can't hear him* Oh, yes. The backside view of a Nevarran beauty is to die for   

Cassandra: WHAT DID YOU SAY??!! YOU WOULD LIKE TO DIE FOR WHAT??!! I can make it happen!

Inquisitor: Uhhh.....no thank you please.....I'm fine...

 

[Eveangaline]

Sera: *Looking Dwarfquisitor and Iron bull up and down* "I still don't get how that works"

Dwarfquisitor: "You know, I'm kind of sick of people pointing out the height difference. It works just the same as anyone else"

Sera: "Oh not that, I just don't get how it works with a guy. How do you not giggle when he pulls out the dangly bits?"

Iron Bull: "I prefer to call it the 'prehensile people pleaser'"

[setrus86]

Blackwall: Bull, have you considered changing your armour?

 

Iron Bull: What do you mean? I got this plate suit just yesterday.

 

Blackwall: That is not plate, partial plate, maybe, but not plate.

 

Iron Bull: Riiight...what was your point again?

 

Blackwall: Sleeves, have you considered using armour with sleeves? Maybe something in chainmail? Or even plate? I'm surprised you, a fellow warrior using a two-handed weapon, doesn't appreciate the risks with having exposed arms.

 

Iron Bull: Cover my arms? Are you mad? You can't contain these babies, Blackwall.

 

Blackwall: I did not expect you to be a man of vanity, Bull...just get some armour for your arms, it's the smart thing to do.

 

Iron Bull: I think you underestimate how terrifying my arms are to my enemies, Blackwall, it's all about psychology...seeing my frame is enough to make many hesitate to fight, so the more I cover it up, the less the effect it'll have.

 

Blackwall: I suppose I understand the value of intimidation, yes, but I doubt your bare arms have much to do with it...

 

Iron Bull: Once a few enemies were shaking so much before me that all I had to do was flex my arms to make them run away.

 

Blackwall: That's...bull.

 

Iron Bull: *chuckling* Damn right.

[A.Kazama]

Varric: Does anyone notice the apparent lack of wildlife around here...

Sera: Now that you mention it Varric, I haven't seen any of those cute lil' fox things running around for a good few days now.

Varric: It's almost if someone is systematically hunting down anything that isn't tied down and covered in fur.

Inquisitor: (whispers) I think you should come clean with your fennec pelt collection...

Solas: I'll do no such thing, for I have nothing to confess. Besides Cassandra complemented on my bear throw rug rather nicely the other day, and cole appreciated the fox quilt I sewed for him rather fondly.

Sera: You two say something?

Solas: The inquisitor was commenting on our delightful weather.

Sera: it is rather nice today isn't it?

Varric: *Sigh* And yet again... unexplainable events with no answers, continue to occur throughout my life...

[Wolfen09]

Elf inquisitor:  Bull, i think we need to stop doing the whole tossing thing.

 

Iron bull:  Really, but you caused so much mayhem last time.

 

Inquisitor:  You threw me into a bush, the enemy thought i was a baby sylvann attacking them.

 

Iron Bull:  You did look kind of angry and leafy.

 

Inquisitor:  I know you're trying to throw me behind the enemy to cause mayhem, but i think we need to stop before someone gets hurt, i mean you almost threw me off a cliff that one time!

 

Iron Bull:  You got your balance at the last second, it all worked out.

 

Varric:  Im starting to see a pattern here.

 

Inquisitor:  Why did i let sera talk me into this?

 

Varric:  Cause you wanted to cause mayhem and she didnt want to do it.

[RebbyWriter]

Varric: ...That's right.

 

Cassandra: Huh?

 

V: Oh, nothing.

 

C: Varric, are you talking to an inanimate object?

 

V: Bianca is not an object! Oh, and by the way, she heard you talking about her. Heavy? Old? Very mature.

 

C: Uh--

 

V: Didn't your mother ever teach you it's rude to talk behind one's back, Seeker?

 

C: Varric, I didn't mean to upset.

 

V: Don't apologize to me.

 

C: ......

 

V: Well?

 

C: *sigh* Maker, I can't believe I'm about to do this. I'm sorry, Bianca. You are not heavy or old. You are...lovely and strong.

 

Inquisitor: Damn! There goes my 5 silvers.

 

C: Wait..What? ...You..

 

V: Never doubted for even a second.

 

C: ..."Band together an Inquisition", she said. "It'll be fun.."

[Jakia]

So, I thought of what must be the greatest banter scenario in Inquisition. Appologies if someone has already brought this up, but, someone needs to import a save with:

 

- a female mage warden

- who flirted with Cullen

- but ultimately romanced Leliana

 

and see what the banter is. 

 

In fact, if there is not awkward "So you and Amell ended up together huh" banter between Cullen and Leliana then I am calling shenanigans, Bioware.

[Wolfen09]

In fact, if there is not awkward "So you and Amell ended up together huh" banter between Cullen and Leliana then I am calling shenanigans, Bioware.

 

well, they had specific banter between merrill and anders if the warden was dalish in da2....   i could see it possibly happening.... maybe.... who am i kidding, we all know they blew all their funding on fake dorian mustaches for the office, and left barely any for party banter....

[Bayonet Hipshot]

From Cassandra's Discussion Thread

 

Well if my Dalish Elf mage decides to romance Cassandra, it would probably go something like this :-

 

Cassandra :- "So Inquisitor, you do not believe in Andraste or the Maker."

 

Inquisitor :- "No. Don't take it too personally though. I don't believe in the whole Creators either even though I am Dalish. Or the Stone. Or the Qun."

 

Cassandra:- "You don't believe in anything then ?"

 

Inquisitor:- "I did not say that. I believe in facts. I believe in reality." *fires of a bit of magic* "I believe in that which I can touch, see, hear, taste and sense."

 

Inquisitor :- "I believe that Andraste is a woman who accomplished remarkable things because there is evidence for it. I don't believe that she did the things she did because the Maker told her so and I don't believe that she is a deity now because there is no evidence for this."

 

Cassandra :- "I suppose I can see where you are going Inquisitor..."

 

Inquisitor :- *holds Cassandra's hands and looks at her* "I believe that the woman in front of me now is an amazing, capable and a tough woman. I believe that the woman in front of me now is beautiful and lovely. I can see this. I can sense this. I can touch this"

 

Cassandra :- "Inquisitor...I..."

 

Inquisitor :- "and I really love and adore those who I believe in."  *kisses her*

 

Tis' a bit cheesy, I know, but if my Dalish Inquisitor romances her and he is an atheist / rationalist, then most probably this is how it would go down...

[NoForgiveness]

Snip

That made me a bit sick. And I usually like cheesy romantic stuff.

[Basement Cat]

From the Josephine thread:

 

Josie: Oh, Inquisitor. I did not hear you come in.

 

Inquisitor: No wonder. You seemed quite absorbed by your task, Lady Montilyet. May I ask what you were doing?

 

Josie: Oh, nothing important. Just practicing my penmanship. *shuffles papers to hide letter*

 

Inquisitor: *noticed the shuffle* Oh? What manner of exercise? Copying the alphabet? Tongue twisters? Pangrams?

 

Josie: *laughter* Nothing so childish. I was writing a letter.

 

Inquisitor: Ah, a heartfelt entreaty, no doubt. May I see it?

 

Josie: Uhm, it is not finished. Perhaps later?

 

Inquisitor: I look forward to it. You have such a wonderful way with words.

 

Josie: *blush* Thank you.

 

Inquisitor: But you know, sometimes words just aren't enough.

 

Josie: That is why you are here. When words fail, you take action.

 

Inquisitor: *soft laugh* Ah, I see how it is. Very well then. *touches hand*

 

Josie: *nervous smile* I do not think I am quite out of words yet.

 

Inquisitor: I think you are. *kisses her*

[Bayonet Hipshot]

That made me a bit sick. And I usually like cheesy romantic stuff.

 

Yeap. I am awful at making romance banters. I can do banters where people explain stuff to other people well but romance banter, hehe, I am not good at it. Bluedrake89 is much better at then I am. 

[Basement Cat]

Yeap. I am awful at making romance banters. I can do banters where people explain stuff to other people well but romance banter, hehe, I am not good at it. Bluedrake89 is much better at then I am. 

Aww, how sweet of you! Here, have some flowers. 

[NoForgiveness]

Snip

*cringe*

Yeap. I am awful at making romance banters. I can do banters where people explain stuff to other people well but romance banter, hehe, I am not good at it. Bluedrake89 is much better at then I am.

Objectively speaking, I don't think it wasn't good. Just a little to gushy for me. Same with the one above.