What? No, I'm trying to say that in my grandparents' generation, couples could be married and then spend a decade apart without splitting up. We don't really know whether Solas and Lavellan could get back together or not. We don't know that the break up is final. He broke up with her because he felt that he needed to do that for his plans, but he also strings her along telling her at the end to remember what they had was real. I am just saying that not all relationships need a lot of attention to sustain it.
Which makes it sound like people today can't appreciate a deeper relationship or create a long lasting one, which I disagree with. Or the idea that spending a decade apart without splitting up is a good thing. Our grandparents time also had quite a bit of stigma on divorce, so people who shouldn't have stayed together, might have.
Generations are not so drastically different as the media would like us to believe.
A well built relationship, with previous deep attention and connection, doesn't need attention to sustain and it has gaps...so yes, it can be a relationship still.
without that foundation, its not a relationship for those 10 years, its two people living separate lives saying they love this other person