Sigh, I just want to point out that I didn't say anything about mind reading in my initial post about the mark letting Solas see Lavellan's soul/spirit.
On my part at least the mind meld was more of "fandoms collide inside me momentarily" - I'm appreciative of the difference and would prefer this type of soul/spirit connection in the DA context. Fits better.
It's funny how my least favorite sci-fi stories are those with any sort of mind meld. I don't know I get about Solas understanding Lavellan at a deeper level and I think their interaction in the Fade and the choices she makes during the journey are what really compels him to her, it's just anything beyond that is not my cup of tea.
lol yeah I recruit the Wardens too. I was "Solas Why U MAD?!" but I had my reasons. I just couldn't send the Wardens away, I felt more comfortable if I could keep an eye on them in any case. Also I've done both choices for Cole and it's whatever you're comfortable with. I kind of like him as human more but I didn't mind the spirit. I can't believe I used to find Cole weird and creepy and he just grew sooo much on me. I adore him!
Also as I said, I don't think Solas would feel bad about killing the mages but about losing control. That's one of the very few times we see him grow incredibly emotional. I just felt he wasn't in the right state of mind and wouldn't appreciate himself making a decision based only on emotion, I don't know.
Aww, yes, Cole 
I agree, I thought to myself that (outside of my obvious bias towards Wardens after DA:O) the Wardens are best kept in plain sight lest they start getting ideas like infiltrating back into the country without any checks on them. As long as Venatori could ostensibly control them, I'd rather keep an eye on them, and I do believe in-game that they have redeeming qualities. IF our dearest Solas had confided in us and told us who he is, then perhaps I would have taken a different stance - so that's on his beautifully shiny head that he can't explain to me why the only order in all of Thedas that can stop the freaking BLIGHT should be an organization I scorn. Yes, they made some baaad moves, but by that point I had to make some pretty shady decisions just because I'm in charge of everything all of a sudden.
As to Solas - I can see where you're coming from with the losing control thing. But then, I'd rather he make a rash action out of passion than out of cold, rational thought, and waiting for him to sink into that calm place would not have assuaged the pain, only sharpened it to a ruthless dagger - if he had waited for it, the implications would go deeper, the burden of taking those lives would become much more deliberate. At least, that's my take on it.
Plus... up till that point I thought he was always so controlled, what he needs is not more of that, but release. That's what I wanted to offer, and that sometimes includes letting emotion guide you, as long as there are limits on it. Normally this wouldn't be on the right level, I mean, killing a bunch of people is not my idea of "release," but we're talking in DAI context - I wanted to find the spots that Solas actually cares deeply about, because those are the points where you get to know him best. If he can let himself feel that pain and cement it forever, it's like he just created a foothold for me to peer over his walls. Plus I would have been spitting mad if our positions were reversed and he stopped me.
Truthfully, though, I wasn't sure what would happen. How is it that fights normally take so long and all of a sudden Solas is able to wipe them all out with a stroke of power? Hmmmm, suspiciouuuus.
THIS! I really feel strongly about that. I think Solas respects you enough to do any type of invasion without her permission. Maybe. Fade-tongue doesn't count though. He's welcome to that.
If your intention was to take my mind to the gutter, it totally went there before you finished that sentence.
Fade-Tongue......no shaaame....
Well, to clarify my position on this at least, I identify with this sentiment, too. My romantic mind constructed something more along these lines: on a spirit level (and as I said above, I do not mean rummaging around in my head), he probably has waaaay more power to visit/learn about anyone's spirit than anyone else in existence (to our present knowledge and with the possible exception of other "gods" real or otherwise). He does have a connection, a bond struck up with Lavellan that is unintentional, but also I'd like to imagine it in a way that he has the power to "see you truly" in spirit and restrains himself exactly because he knows that he wants to draw closer... I think that explains his whole hesitation in the Fade kiss scene. He knows that he's about to let his mask slip and "learn" you in a very intimate, Fade-y way (yes, I know that was lame). He respects your privacy and yet finds your spirit irresistible, there is a potential for deep understanding that goes beyond merely being lovers. And he may have a partner not just physically, but in the Fade! That's huge for someone so alone and so much in his element there.
So, I think that he wants nothing more than to go to you, yet instead he kind of "draws you in" by initiating the means to get you into your dreams. It's of your own volition, but he does not have to sacrifice his principles or violate his respect for you by going "too far too soon."
This totally has more laced in it than I intended originally, but ah well.
ahahaha, yeah. He does give that impression. He also does the same "wow, gee wiz!" thing about rift magic when he first meets you, and is totally shocked to find out that magic can be used to manipulate space-time later in the game.
None of it is remotely true, but it's kind of adorable to watch. ^w^
Yeees, but he could just be totally happy to finally be there again and needs a great excuse to mask his uncontrollable enthusiasm and relief. I interpret that in hindsight as... reminiscent. He hasn't been there in so long, and he's amazed that Lavellan could make this happen in the first place.
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. So why leave?
your theories are very interesting reads, even if I don't always buy into them. 
