First run through I didn't take him to the ball, because I honestly thought he wouldn't enjoy all the back stabbing politics (I hate the Game myself), and I felt in that run that our relationship was wholly platonic in that we never actually went beyond kissing but it was nevertheless very intense and devoted and spiritually we were very close. That is actually what I found so exciting and attractive about it. Previously I had romanced Zevran and Fenris, where the physical part came first and only later did they admit to loving you, which I was never entirely happy with because I personally could not have a purely physical relationship; there needs to be an emotional connection there first. So to have this sense of being soul mates with Solas and the possibility that down the line it might become a physical one but that not really being important because we simply had this intense bond between us anyway was wonderful. It was the fact that we did seem so close that made him going off without any real explanation seem so hard. I really couldn't get into the celebrations afterwards and the epilogue only made it worse since whilst I as a player knew what was going on, I knew my character still believed that may be after a period of time he would come back. I didn't get that Cole episode either but in a way it was probably better that I didn't because if she saw him speaking through Cole, the instant reaction would be "Why didn't you talk to me direct? Why did I have to hear this through Cole?" Since she is a mage and much of their interactions were in the Fade, she would expect that much from him.
My current run through, which is my second retracing my steps and taking in more with the same girl (since I couldn't face doing the outstanding areas without him), I did take him to the ball and that put a whole different slant on things. To hear him talking about the "heady mix" of the Game, I did feel it was a bit of foreplay on his part and that may be we did end up in bed but I'm still not sure since presumably he says that to any Inquisitor, male, qunari, dwarf, human. Also it has been suggested that there is a banter between Solas and someone else where he talks about the "side benefit" of getting Lavellan into bed. I've not come across this up to now and he gets so annoyed with Blackwall for passing on Sera's enquiry about what he does in the Fade with his spirit friends, that I honestly couldn't see him talking about his relationship with Lavellan in such an open and, to my mind, disrespectful way. So was this actually a conversation in game, or just fanfic?
It's a conversation, you haven't gotten it yet. If you're romancing him it's later in the game. It's the sarcastic option.
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