I agree. I wouldn't be mad or anything if it turned out to be a split soul type deal, but I think it is a lot more interesting if he's just Fen'Harel.
I feel like them not being connected would be an easy 'get out of jail free card' for Solas, where we could ignore any previous evils he might have done because he was either under the influence of wolf god spirit, or wasn't his doing entirely. It also makes a somewhat sticky situation if they were ever separated. I know people like the idea because it gives the potential to have a 'happy ending' with Solas, but... what if the person you fell in love with was Fen'Harel, not dreamer elf? Getting a body that looks like your lover is not much of a consolation prize.
Why would they "not be connected"? You take a piece out of whatever you touch. You cannot harbor another soul (god or not) and change back to whatever you were before. And also Anders was not replaced or a helpless captive. His anger had always been there, it just intensified. Justice chose him because Anders was a matching host, I am sure. Why assume that Fen'Harel and Solas were all so different to begin with? I assume if I were Fen'Harel wandering the Fade I would not just choose anybody, I would choose the best match. Solas, assuming he is the vessel, is not disconnected from whatever he does, it's still his own actions. I think Flemeth pretty much shows that. She is not somebody else only because Mythal is in her, she's just become "more".
I find it very sad that people say Solas (or his story) were less interesting if not an elf ensouled by a god. Why is that?
I don't know about the romance part. Yes, maybe it seems cooler to say "A god loves me" than "Some elf loves me". I am not a Solasmancer, so this is an emotion that eludes me. But if I were I would not care what he is. Because I would not have known who he is (Lavellan: not at all, player: until the ending scene), so I would not have fallen for a god but simply for an interesting person.