By the time this posts, the convo will have probably changed.

I have all sorts of gripes and defensive qualifiers, when it comes to Solas. @Avejejed, brought up the real world aspect of the ex-mobster boyfriend, as a comparison, even when real world comparisons often don't completely fit. This was not a bad illustration though, and one that does give food for thought.
The main issue I personally have when analyzing a character like this, is the limitations that the
game mechanics have, when doing so. Because BW games are more story heavy, and the story does have a mostly linear path, we have time constraints built in to the game. The game is not a reflection of a "neverending story"; it has limits. I can play Dragon's Dogma and Skyrim for more hours than I should ever admit to, and not finish the story. The game appeals to many different types of game play. But a BW game, tries to steer you back to the story. A story that will ultimately conclude (well, to a certain degree).
So what is my point to this rambling. I suppose it is simply that unlike real life, where we can continue to pursue and pester for answers, the game says "here are all the questions your
character is allowed to ask. And these are all the
answers we are willing to give you." (at least at this time). How many times have you talked to your monitor or TV screen as questions flash in your head? How many instances have you yelled, "BUT!........"? More than likely, many times more than the game allows you to act upon.
Now with that aimless train of thought concluded, I will add two of my own personal analyses.
First, the "humanizing" of Solas. (putting the word in quotes, since we the game has other races, but I think everyone gets the idea

). Banters among the companions and Solas, seem to start one way, and alter as time goes on. Not in all cases, mind you, but in many. Take the ongoing discussion between Varric and Solas, regarding the lone man on an island, living his life, drinking his "fermented fruit juice". By the conclusion of that exchange, Solas somewhat
concedes to Varric's reasoning. Regardless of whether
he would feel the same way as the man on the island, Solas now can fathom how one could still find a life of meaning or at least contentment, because it IS life. Living.
The reactions of Sera to Solas' suggestions, could be considered another good example. Unfortunately, I have not had all them fire (and it has been some time since I played the YT of those banters). But, I still take from that that he begins to see once again, from Sera's perspective it is about living. Being alive. Enjoying the simple things. He may believe she is missing the bigger picture, but to her, he is missing the little things that make life worth living.
When we finally get to IB's convos with Solas, if your PC had him save the chargers, we nearly see these lessons in action. Yes, Solas is revealing other aspects of himself (or what we may assume his former self was, or things he intends to do.....??), during such things as the chess match, but I also see him apply some of the elements he has taken to heart through his interactions with the rest of the "pack".

What the writers intend to do with all of this potential "humanizing" is yet to be revealed. Hopefully something amazing.
My second line of thought, is in regards to how he views his plans. Whatever they were or are to become. This may end up sounding incongruous to what I stated above regarding lessons he may have learned, but bear with me.
I don't claim to have any real idea on what he had hoped would happen before taking his nap, nor his plans now. But one thing that strikes me, is that he does have a somewhat fatalistic view about "what must be done". I can not but help thinking of The Operative (Chiwetel Ejiofor) in Serenity. When Mal questions this "ideal" universe that The Operative is doing his part to help create, he states that he would not live in such a world. There is no place for a man such as him. He has reduced himself to a necessary evil, a tool, and accepts that. This may be the very thing that Solas sees of himself, hence why dying alone appears to be his biggest fear. Even if one accepts such a role, doesn't mean it makes them happy, or without fears. Their goals just outweigh them (though, I would say that The Operative is in fact a sociopath of great intelligence, and therefore in a much better position to put aside his own fears/feelings, if he has them). Solas clearly
does have fears and feelings though. And now with his time in the Inquisition, he may have new viewpoints to consider (this is where the humanizing
may have influence...again, so I hope).
It is quite possible that I have read into things incorrectly, or am seeing more than I should. I still get amazed at how many bits and pieces of dialogue, banter amongst the companions, and codices I missed in previous play throughs, only to discover later. By the time DLC comes out, it will be interesting if some of my ideas on these matters will change. I'm always willing to amend my thoughts and ideas, as new information is revealed.

TL;DR
Blah, blah, yada-yada.....game limitations, humanizing, not fit to live in this perceived utopia.