I fear you are right.
I liked the everybody loses ending in DA2. It was not enough, but I liked being helpless. I liked that no matter what I had done, everything would end up in ruins. I would have liked it to go much further, actually. A complete "we placed our chips in all the right spots and still lost" situation.
But I also know many people dislike that.
I think it's an "invalid" argument, because people could just replay and make another decision at that point in order to get a "good" ending. But you are right that they would complain still. Actually, I can only agree with everything you said.
Yes, I thought DA2 was a refreshing change from the usual hero-saves-the-day story. I never had an issue with Hawke and the plot of DA2 (only with map recycling and such). I too loved it that Hawke failed. That one man/woman cannot prevent tragedy. I thought that was rather realistic. DA2 is a really dark depressing game. Much more so than DAO. I loved that companions had their own agenda and went through with it regardless of what you did. Sure, it's kind of frustrating. We WANT to sway people, make them agree with us. We want to feel like our way is the best way, the only right way to do things. DA2 was the closest to realism Bioware got.
It was an experiment that was not well received, sadly. People didn't just have issues with the rushed feel of the game (which was deserved criticism imo). Nobody liked playing a hero who couldn't stop the terrorist.
Now in DAI with Solas we have another Anders type of character with his own deceptive agenda. But Bioware learned from DA2 and made the betrayal happen before the inquisitor was around. In fact, quizzie is the shining hero again who actually FIXES Solas' screw-up. And also fixes the Hawke situation. Hawke failed to stop Anders, but the inquisitor is there to set things straight again, end the mage rebellion. All nice and tidy at the end of the game...
Whatever happens with Solas in the next game is probably not the inquisitor's concern anymore. At some point, one of the playable heroes will deal with him. And probably in a satisfying in-control way.