I'm just going to chime in and say I've always found people going through what you are amazingly brave. And you're never too old to figure out who you are and what that means for the direction you want your life to take. I just turned 30 myself, and only feel like I've really begun to understand who I am, or even figure out what questions to ask myself to figure that out, in the last year or so.
As a 21 year old, reading posts like yours and JadePrince's makes me feel so much better. It's good to know that I can still be discovering myself ten years from now and not feel immature or silly about it.
To put the topic back on Solas, I bet he would proudly say that he hasn't truly discovered himself or all the mysteries of the world yet.
so, i've seen this bandied about from several others (sorry, too lazy to go back and find them all, and sorry to put you on the spot!, but ), but you know what? every story is inspiring. from the "straight-dudebro" who supports us, to the "not-sure-if-trans-but-seeking-myself", to "figured-out-i-was-*insert sexuality*" to.. well, there's too many to count.
Every. Single. One. is something that makes me smile and warms my heart. no matter how little inspiration you think your own story is, there is someone who will look at it and go "huh." even the smallest thing makes a difference to someone. we can't see it in ourselves because we're too close, we've lived it and even if we don't know all about ourselves (dude, i'm 35 and i'm still figuring stuff out, and i've been out as "gay" for 15+ years), just sparking this conversation, and adding even a little tiny bit to it, helps us feel like a real community. everyone, no matter how shy or outspoken is welcome here, and i think we all want to hear anything anyone is willing to share about themselves.
I mean after all that's what lives on, right? You inspire one person and they inspire another from your influence. Everyone's story is important, everyone's story is inspiring to someone. That's part of what makes fictional characters important to me, they live on for as long as society exists. Some may be forgotten but some inspire, even hundreds of years after their telling.
I feel like Solas would be inspired and intrigued by small flickers of people long dead in the fade, no matter how insignificant they may seem. Everyone can learn from anyone.
jellobell, A Typewriter et Astelspirals aiment ceci
That quote has basically become the motto of the Solas thread. I'm so happy even David Gareth-Lloyd acknowledged it. It sums up so much of what we've been talking about.
Yep. And I really hope Solas says that in the game quite a few times.
To put the topic back on Solas, I bet he would proudly say that he hasn't truly discovered himself or all the mysteries of the world yet.
This just made me giggle for a solid minute. As a character, Solas seems to be living up to all my wildest dreams (ehe).
I'm a social history student, so his commitment to discovering history through people's perceptions (via the Fade) and complicating established thinking resonates with me so much.
Everyone sharing their stories is so inspiring... I'm typically a very private person (even though I have strong feelings and opinions regarding representation, I don't talk a lot about myself personally). But you all make this little corner of the internet feel very welcoming and safe. So... *takes a deep breath*
*snip*
(Sorry for busting in, Solas fans!! but...) This was amazing... thank you for sharing *hugs* I can relate to some degree. When you realize certain things about yourself beyond a certain age, change is really hard, and sometimes it's easier to not change and let everyone think you are the person they have always thought you were. But thanks to Dragon Age, you can be whoever you want, whoever you feel you truly are, and that's amazing.
I feel like Solas would be inspired and intrigued by small flickers of people long dead in the fade, no matter how insignificant they may seem. Everyone can learn from anyone.
Justice in Awakening said that the souls of the dead go someplace beyond the Fade, though.
I just want to say to everyone, that this thread has really touched my heart, yet again, today.
All of you have made a swell of warmth in me.
So much bravery.
So much acceptance.
What we've got here together, you all carry it inside you, all of the time.
And I hope that no matter your orientation or your level of "privelege" that the next time someone or the world makes you feel small.
That you remember today and you remember that you are brave and wonderful and that we all know that too.
So don't any of you forget it, ever. Ever Again.
Remember how awesome you are and full of love and take that with you out into the world and engender that same feeling in everyone else you meet who's willing to feel it.
Thank you again, everyone. This thread has seriously become special to me, I'm so proud and full of so much joy to be a part of it.
And, Jade Prince, STOP CALLING YOURSELF OLD DAMMIT!! *weeps* You aren't allowed to be old at 31!!
TanithAeyrs, Phate Phoenix, Uirebhiril et 12 autres aiment ceci
As a 21 year old, reading posts like yours and JadePrince's makes me feel so much better. It's good to know that I can still be discovering myself ten years from now and not feel immature or silly about it.
To put the topic back on Solas, I bet he would proudly say that he hasn't truly discovered himself or all the mysteries of the world yet.
I'm also 21.
Seriously awesome way to bring Solas back into this. It's one of the major things that draw me to his character, he seems like an individual that's never afraid to keep an open mind, admit when things aren't how he maybe thought they were, and readily grow from it. I try to be this way in my life and I think it's something everyone could benefit from. There's never a point in our lives where we're just set, like our youth is this "drying clay" period and we hit a point where we can't be molded into something else. We're always growing, I think, some people are just more actively resistant to it than others. I think we'd all be happier with ourselves and each other if we'd just accept it.
Sometimes I envy folks who really have themselves figured out. I'm 35 and I don't know if I ever will. I'm mostly okay with that, but it makes it a little difficult to talk about. That's one of the reasons I really loved DA2, you had characters who were simply attracted to other people without the need for defining themselves or making it out to be a big deal in their identity. I understand that it's good to have visibility like what's being done in DA:I, but I admit I'll miss that.
I'm from a fairly liberal mexican family in northern California, so I've never felt like it was something to keep hidden, but it isn't something I care to talk about. For most of my life it was due to being mostly unaware of anything on the sexual spectrum outside of gay and straight. So when my mom tried to get me to come out when I was 16 (if anyone was going to notice something it was mom), it wasn't something I wanted to admit to, because I wasn't sure what in the world it was. How could I be gay if I liked guys, y'know? I also had a really hard time growing up, and I didn't want to have to deal with being different in that way too. Bisexuality and pansexuality were ideas I had to gradually warm up to, and even now I find myself not really sure, even when my late twenties finally made me face that I wasn't as straight as I thought I was. Sometimes I look around, and I see things that feel like maybe...pansexual, bisexual, fluid sexuality, gender fluid... But I dislike the need to place people into strict labels and categories, I've never fit well into them and it's given me enough trouble.
But yeah, it's really awesome to be able to play a character that can reflect some of those things.
chrislynn, jellobell, TanithAeyrs et 9 autres aiment ceci
As a 21 year old, reading posts like yours and JadePrince's makes me feel so much better. It's good to know that I can still be discovering myself ten years from now and not feel immature or silly about it.
To put the topic back on Solas, I bet he would proudly say that he hasn't truly discovered himself or all the mysteries of the world yet.
Absolutely! Well... except maybe the feeling immature and silly part... Seems like the older and (hopefully) wiser I get, the more acutely aware I am of my silliness AND my immaturity. But I'm also more okay with it. If I could tell my younger self just one thing it's this (and I suppose this applies to all you young whippersnappers as well, haha!): Stop being so damn serious! It doesn't matter what others might think of you - Stop trying to convince yourself and everyone else of how 'mature' you are and just be that silly, goofy, young self that's buried under all the trying-to-be-cool. Though i suppose that's more than one thing isn't it...?
Anyway, this old lady is going to get off her soapbox now.... As you were, Solas thread. As you were
Yeah, that's why I never brought up me being sexually ambiguous. It's very nature is hard to explain to the point I don't even really get it, so how can I really expect others to?
Surprisingly, unlike most everybody else here, it took bad news from Bioware on the representation of others that brought me to bring it up.
I saw that conversation going on in the romance thread. It was neat getting to know what being sexually ambiguous meant. It's a good thing in my opinion when one expresses a not so known or misunderstood term and provide clarification. I'm confident that when Bioware finds out how to represent the sexually ambiguous they will in time incorporate into their games. Keep projecting your interests whether it has to do with your sexuality or otherwise and it's bound to be picked up on otherwise if you keep it to yourself they will have no way of knowing.
One example is that thread involving female representation in the feedback thread. I have seen Allan often times poke his head in there and speak to them on the matter and defend them and their interests in seeing equal representation.
Justice in Awakening said that the souls of the dead go someplace beyond the Fade, though.
Sorry it's 3am here and I worded that poorly.
Spoiler
Solas has trained himself to do something a lot like lucid-dreaming. He goes to ancient ruins where the Veil is thin, goes to sleep, and actually experiences the history of places no one else has seen in centuries.
[DA]: Is that sort of vision accurate?
[PW]: Absolutely not. It’s based off people’s memories, right? Ask ten different witnesses at a crime scene to describe what happened, and you’ll get all kinds of conflicting information. Solas knows that everything he sees in the Fade is subjective and imperfect. It’s like a gigantic Wikipedia entry full of “[citation needed]” notes, but still, Solas has found some amazing things.
That. Whatever that even is. I don't really understand how it works.
And with this post I am off, sleep is calling me. Something Solas must experience often, I bet.
Sometimes I envy folks who really have themselves figured out. I'm 35 and I don't know if I ever will. I'm mostly okay with that, but it makes it a little difficult to talk about. That's one of the reasons I really loved DA2, you had characters who were simply attracted to other people without the need for defining themselves or making it out to be a big deal in their identity. I understand that it's good to have visibility like what's being done in DA:I, but I admit I'll miss that.
Yeah, I'll miss what they did in DA2. I feel that what they did with Merrill is the closest Bioware ever got to representing what I was, so them saying she was just bisexual and that they don't want to do that route again made me quite sad.
Am totally teary-eyed right now. Not gonna lie and not gonna feel any shame. Just gonna enjoy it and be so humbled that somehow I accidentally started this amazing cascade of human wonderfulness. You guys are making me feel things I cannot even reasonably describe right now. I just can't.
We're all a little weird. Together we make one fine rainbow of awesome.
(I'm either an aromantic or a demiromantic asexual--it's so hard to tell--so you're in good company.)
Your post reminded me of my favorite Doctor Seuss quote:
"We're all a little weird and life's a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love."
And that is true for every damn person here and on the planet. We are ALL weird, we ALL have little idiosyncrasies and oddities, and you know what? That's okay. That's what makes each of us beautiful and unique. What matters is that we each somehow find a way to LOVE that IN OURSELVES, and then love that in someone else.
And for everyone who doesn't feel they have a story, but are here with your support and your love and acceptance.
That, you're writing a story every day, just like all the rest of us. You are the folk that help us step out into the light and to smile and to feel like we can trust. That is a wonderful story, even if you don't realise you are creating it. You Are.
Thank you!
This. So much this. I don't remember who the comedian was, but there was one who said that every single person you meet has a story of some kind. An interesting story or a funny story or a moving story. But something you can find some type of inspiration in, even if that inspiration may be, "My God, I don't EVER wanna do what that poor sap did!" But every person is important and every person has some kind of story and you can always take something from it to add to your own tapestry you are weaving.
Dammit, out of likes for the first time ever. I knew this thread would be the one to do it too! How fast do you get them back, anyway?
I believe we have 48 likes "per day". I am not sure what the forum considers "a day", however. I find I get them back in spurts... I like maybe 2-3 things and am out again.
Wow. I just cannot express. I know we don't know a lot about Solas, but I think he'd be darn proud of what's happening here.
Thank you again, all of you, for the experience you are bringing here. Please keep sharing, and if anyone isn't comfortable even here, you can feel free to PM me (or probably anyone posting right now, I imagine) any time. I am here a lot and always happy to be an open ear or available shoulder, to be supportive and nonjudgmental, even if I might not have advice to give or can personally relate to some of the struggles, I can always sympathize if not empathize. Don't ever feel alone. You are not alone.
This song seems appropriate for what's happening right now...
I saw that conversation going on in the romance thread. It was neat getting to know what being sexually ambiguous meant. It's a good thing in my opinion when one expresses a not so known or misunderstood term and provide clarification. I'm confident that when Bioware finds out how to represent the sexually ambiguous they will in time incorporate into their games. Keep projecting your interests whether it has to do with your sexuality or otherwise and it's bound to be picked up on otherwise if you keep it to yourself they will have no way of knowing.
One example is that thread involving female representation in the feedback thread. I have seen Allan often times poke his head in there and speak to them on the matter and defend them and their interests in seeing equal representation.
Glad you enjoyed it. And hopefully someday, even if I have doubts and fears on it.
Sometimes I envy folks who really have themselves figured out. I'm 35 and I don't know if I ever will. I'm mostly okay with that, but it makes it a little difficult to talk about. That's one of the reasons I really loved DA2, you had characters who were simply attracted to other people without the need for defining themselves or making it out to be a big deal in their identity. I understand that it's good to have visibility like what's being done in DA:I, but I admit I'll miss that.
I'm from a fairly liberal mexican family in northern California, so I've never felt like it was something to keep hidden, but it isn't something I care to talk about. For most of my life it was due to being mostly unaware of anything on the sexual spectrum outside of gay and straight. So when my mom tried to get me to come out when I was 16 (if anyone was going to notice something it was mom), it wasn't something I wanted to admit to, because I wasn't sure what in the world it was. How could I be gay if I liked guys, y'know? I also had a really hard time growing up, and I didn't want to have to deal with being different in that way too. Bisexuality and pansexuality were ideas I had to gradually warm up to, and even now I find myself not really sure, even when my late twenties finally made me face that I wasn't as straight as I thought I was. Sometimes I look around, and I see things that feel like maybe...pansexual, bisexual, fluid sexuality, gender fluid... But I dislike the need to place people into strict labels and categories, I've never fit well into them and it's given me enough trouble.
But yeah, it's really awesome to be able to play a character that can reflect some of those things.
Hey! I'm Hispanic too! From a pretty liberal family, too.
I think the important thing to acknowledge is that yes, it's okay to not have it all figured out. I personally think that finding out yourself and who "you" really are is a journey that lasts your entire lifetime. Because each day provides an opportunity for something new to discover, which very likely may be about yourself. From trying out a new meal and finding out that you like it to making a new internal discovery about who you are, it's a journey that only you can take. it is yours to take.
I've learned not to become too concerned with labels. There is such a thing as gender and sexuality fluidity, there's so many grey areas in this world and so not much is really "set". I tell my mom that "I'm all for hot people" sexual sometimes and she takes it in stride and even agrees with me despite the fact that she is heterosexual. And I am, as well. Because who's to say that just because you are straight, you can't find someone of your gender attractive? Or maybe you are gay but someone from the opposite sex comes along one day and makes you discover that perhaps you are really bisexual? Some people know what their sexuality is for sure so this may or may not happen to them, but some people are fluid. And that's sort of a set in itself, you get me? (I hope I am explaining this properly. If any part sounds wrong, please correct me!)
And the beauty of Bioware games is that you can have this fluidity. You can be a guy and romance either a girl or guy. You can be a girl and romance either a girl or a guy. You can be either and romance neither. You can be either and romance both.
You're doing just fine! ^^
Phate Phoenix, Pevesh et dragondreamer aiment ceci
(Sorry for busting in, Solas fans!! but...) This was amazing... thank you for sharing *hugs* I can relate to some degree. When you realize certain things about yourself beyond a certain age, change is really hard, and sometimes it's easier to not change and let everyone think you are the person they have always thought you were. But thanks to Dragon Age, you can be whoever you want, whoever you feel you truly are, and that's amazing.
It doesn't get better than that.
Do not apologize for "busting in", CuriousArtemis. All are welcome here.
Glad you enjoyed it. And hopefully someday, even if I have doubts and fears on it.
Look at it this way. If they can make a character (like Merrill) that you thought was sexually ambiguous just think when they actually make a character of that sexuality.
Sometimes I envy folks who really have themselves figured out. I'm 35 and I don't know if I ever will. I'm mostly okay with that, but it makes it a little difficult to talk about. That's one of the reasons I really loved DA2, you had characters who were simply attracted to other people without the need for defining themselves or making it out to be a big deal in their identity. I understand that it's good to have visibility like what's being done in DA:I, but I admit I'll miss that.
Spoiler
I'm from a fairly liberal mexican family in northern California, so I've never felt like it was something to keep hidden, but it isn't something I care to talk about. For most of my life it was due to being mostly unaware of anything on the sexual spectrum outside of gay and straight. So when my mom tried to get me to come out when I was 16 (if anyone was going to notice something it was mom), it wasn't something I wanted to admit to, because I wasn't sure what in the world it was. How could I be gay if I liked guys, y'know? I also had a really hard time growing up, and I didn't want to have to deal with being different in that way too. Bisexuality and pansexuality were ideas I had to gradually warm up to, and even now I find myself not really sure, even when my late twenties finally made me face that I wasn't as straight as I thought I was. Sometimes I look around, and I see things that feel like maybe...pansexual, bisexual, fluid sexuality, gender fluid... But I dislike the need to place people into strict labels and categories, I've never fit well into them and it's given me enough trouble.
But yeah, it's really awesome to be able to play a character that can reflect some of those things.
I don't think we ever truly figure ourselves out, humans are complex like that. Best we can do is be comfortable in our minds, and continue to grow.
Okay, really of to bed this time. For real. Can you see how philosophical I get when tired? Yeesh.
Am totally teary-eyed right now. Not gonna lie and not gonna feel any shame. Just gonna enjoy it and be so humbled that somehow I accidentally started this amazing cascade of human wonderfulness. You guys are making me feel things I cannot even reasonably describe right now. I just can't.
You should be proud of what you started here! Haha. It's amazing what those early posts have snowballed into. This is easily the most amazingly positive, heartwarming experience I've had on the internet.
Just to add, everyone's additions have been incredible and touching. Whether you just stopped by to add support or whether you gave us a life story you've thus far held close, it's all appreciated and it all makes a difference. Everyone that tagged their post with "my story isn't as interesting" or something similar, don't feel that way. Your addition is important and it means a lot to many of us here. Thank you to everyone!
Solas has trained himself to do something a lot like lucid-dreaming. He goes to ancient ruins where the Veil is thin, goes to sleep, and actually experiences the history of places no one else has seen in centuries.
[DA]: Is that sort of vision accurate?
[PW]: Absolutely not. It’s based off people’s memories, right? Ask ten different witnesses at a crime scene to describe what happened, and you’ll get all kinds of conflicting information. Solas knows that everything he sees in the Fade is subjective and imperfect. It’s like a gigantic Wikipedia entry full of “[citation needed]” notes, but still, Solas has found some amazing things.
That. Whatever that even is. I don't really understand how it works.
And with this post I am off, sleep is calling me. Something Solas must experience often, I bet.
The Fade is shaped by memories and emotions, so what they are referring to in the interview is the former.
Solas has trained himself to do something a lot like lucid-dreaming. He goes to ancient ruins where the Veil is thin, goes to sleep, and actually experiences the history of places no one else has seen in centuries.
[DA]: Is that sort of vision accurate?
[PW]: Absolutely not. It’s based off people’s memories, right? Ask ten different witnesses at a crime scene to describe what happened, and you’ll get all kinds of conflicting information. Solas knows that everything he sees in the Fade is subjective and imperfect. It’s like a gigantic Wikipedia entry full of “[citation needed]” notes, but still, Solas has found some amazing things.
That. Whatever that even is. I don't really understand how it works.
And with this post I am off, sleep is calling me. Something Solas must experience often, I bet.
That's one of the most intriguing things about Solas for me. I've always loved the idea of the Fade, and to find out that it functions sort of like a collective unconscious/grease trap for memories just makes me even more interested. I really relate to someone who wants to uncover the past through people's experiences, and I think that's one of the reasons that he'll be very accepting. You can't immerse yourself in the hopes and dreams of others without gaining some sort of appreciation for their perspectives and struggles. That's also why I really value hearing about other people's experiences, because they help enrich my own. Thus, I think the Solas thread is the perfect environment for sharing different perspectives. He seems like the kind of character who'd love to participate in this kind of thing.
Look at it this way. If they can make a character (like Merrill) that you thought was sexually ambiguous just think when they actually make a character of that sexuality.
Well for years she was, but then they decided to say she was bi. And for the exact reasons that they possibly changed their stance on her, with ambiguity = "bisexual erasure" being one of the key arguments against DA2's system thus them going the set sexuality system again, I doubt they will try it.
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As a character, Solas seems to be living up to all my wildest dreams (ehe).
