But then they're BOTH sad. I love Solas, and I feel for him, but if Solas is hellbent on making himself miserable no matter what I do, then one of them might as well be happy and move on.
I know that's true, and I'd never actually assassinate her character by just making her languish in misery doing nothing and waiting for 'true love' to return. But I still sort of want to, you know? Because then if he returns, it's roses. And then if he doesn't, it's even sadder. And I do love sad things.
I could never complete the Battlemage Mail set. I could find the leg upgrades but I could never find the arm upgrades so Solas is always lacking some of that awesome fur wrappings in my playthroughs.
That's lame! The arm upgrades make that outfit for me. I kinda hate the way the leg upgrades look, but I tend to use them anyway because I'm a stat-increase wh0re.
I have this headcanon of my Lavellan repeatedly sticking her hands under various parts of the fur wraps when her hands are cold. I'm a sap.
I'd like them to get back together for his sake.
I feel like my Lavellan would eventually move on and find someone else and have a real fab life, and I want that for her. But I also horribly sort of want her to never move and just wait for Solas because I feel so sad for him. It's going to be complicated making character choices for her and knowing more about the situation than she does, hard to stay faithful to her character and not make myself really sad.
That's lame! The arm upgrades make that outfit for me. I kinda hate the way the leg upgrades look, but I tend to use them anyway because I'm a stat-increase wh0re.
I have this headcanon of my Lavellan repeatedly sticking her hands under various parts of the fur wraps when her hands are cold. I'm a sap.
I know. 
I want him to have his iconic look. ;^; (And yes, the leg upgrades don't look that great.) If I do manage to find those arm upgrades for the Battlemage Mail one day, I'm going to take tons and tons of pictures of him. xD
And I like that headcanon of yours. Of course, sticking her hands under his fur wraps, I imagine, would probably lead to... other things. 
(Ugh! Dirty thoughts! Go away, dirty thoughts! xD)
I know.
And I like that headcanon of yours. Of course, sticking her hands under his fur wraps, I imagine, would probably lead to... other things.
(Ugh! Dirty thoughts! Go away, dirty thoughts! xD)
Heh heh hehhh. Of course you totally saw where I was going with that without the slightest of hints. Great minds think alike. 
Aaand now I feel like a horrible person. lol
Sorry, wasn't my intention. 
All this armor talk...
Please tell me that it's not just my game where the arm and leg upgrades make his fingers and toes a dark brown.
Mine does that too!! 
And I like that headcanon of yours. Of course, sticking her hands under his fur wraps, I imagine, would probably lead to... other things.
(Ugh! Dirty thoughts! Go away, dirty thoughts! xD)
This is all perfectly logical and appropriate. 
Oh god, what are we all doing?
If we're confessing, I would run my hand down his sweater (with him in it, of course ). The sweater, with its fine ribbing, always looks so soft and touchable.
I may have a thing about guys in sweaters.
If we're confessing, I would run my hand down his sweater (with him in it, of course
I have always thought that. My ex had a sweater in a similar fabric (years ago), and I used to badger him all the time to wear it because I loved it so much. It's an oddly flattering fabric.
If we're confessing, I would run my hand down his sweater (with him in it, of course
I may have a thing about guys in sweaters.
Mmm, yes. 
He does look good in that sweater of his. Probably my favorite outfit of his, along with his iconic outfit.
But what I'd like to do is take off said sweater and check out his inner shirt.
I mean, what the heck is it even? xD It looks pretty...leathery? 
If we're confessing, I would run my hand down his sweater (with him in it, of course
My Lavellan likes to cuddle with his sweater, even when he's not wearing it. She especially likes right after he's taken it off for bed, and it's still warm and smells like him. Then she shrugs into it, and it's too big for her, and it's precious 
Solas, you took away my Lavellan's sweater blanket when you left. YOU MONSTER.
Mmm, yes.
But what I'd like to do is take off said sweater and check out his inner shirt.
Spoiler
I mean, what the heck is it even? xD It looks pretty...leathery?
It looks like it's all strappy.
I'm also curious. You know, for uh, research....that next fic will happen eventually.
Would give another reason why he's interested in spirits and such. It's in the blood.
Wait... what somebody is interested in is in the blood? O_o
You have choice, though. It's also pretty in-character. Say Solas would leave if you punched him and told him to, for example, that you refused to recruit Vivienne, and knocked Dorian out. If one feels like one may require them in the future, perhaps they should have been treated accordingly... just a thought. One might also think of it as preserving a mage, since one is guaranteed never to leave or be gotten rid of until the 'game' proper is over. That they allowed playing post-completion (without DLC) seems to partially contribute to the impression that they are taking something away.
I'm with you on this. It's not like the game took away companions easily. Instead, you really have to work hard for it. Before you get them to leave you must have deliberately and carefully pissed them off. I find it really hard to achieve even. So if somebody really does that, he shouldn't complain about being left without a mage. And those who decide not to even recruit the people in the first place -- who does that on a first playthrough? (On the second one everybody knows Solas leaves, so that doesn't count.) And I see no point why people would even do that without knowing a person yet. Whoever refuses a companion before even having tried to get to know him/her deserves no pity anyway.
Another question, over all the talk of Lavellan sticking with Solas even after he left: it's been months, right? He left without a word, Lavellan did not hear from him, he's gone and a lot of time has passed. Does she really still carry her old feelings around? I mean, yes, some people are like that, so this is a serious question. It's been about 2+ months that I haven't played DAI now and I'd say I've been over my LI for probably 2 months. 
After so much time those feelings wouldn't be present anymore, I'd not even want to go back. It's not like she knew why he left or if she'd see him again, it's not waiting.
Another question, over all the talk of Lavellan sticking with Solas even after he left: it's been months, right? He left without a word, Lavellan did not hear from him, he's gone and a lot of time has passed. Does she really still carry her old feelings around? I mean, yes, some people are like that, so this is a serious question. It's been about 2+ months that I haven't played DAI now and I'd say I've been over my LI for probably 2 months.
I honestly don't think a few months apart is such a long time given the circumstances and the universe. In the real world if you didn't speak to someone for several months it would be incredibly final, you could easily have called them or text messaged them or driven over to see them. In a world where word and travel is slow, a few months is really not so long a time.
Each to their own, I think. But for my Lavellan, with everything having been left so up in the air, I doubt her feelings would evaporate fully even with a lot of time. Would she sit around pining all day? Certainly not. But her feelings would still be there.
Another question, over all the talk of Lavellan sticking with Solas even after he left: it's been months, right? He left without a word, Lavellan did not hear from him, he's gone and a lot of time has passed. Does she really still carry her old feelings around? I mean, yes, some people are like that, so this is a serious question. It's been about 2+ months that I haven't played DAI now and I'd say I've been over my LI for probably 2 months.
There's no known time frame for this. Until we have story DLC set X time afterward, it's all headcanon.
I'd say that it would take mine more than a month or two to even begin to start healing. She'd accept that he left, but there are so many questions she has. The unanswered questions and him breaking it off when he did and refusing to answer anything was more hurtful than if he had just explained the situation in some way. But, important to his character, he (mis)directs, takes blame, shifts explanations, and refuses to just lie. (If you take the angry breakup option and basically dare him to say he doesn't care, he looks so sad and he tells you he can't). He won't lie to her so he leaves it obscured, which can sometimes be the worst thing. To not know.
I think it took me a year to get over someone once. Also didn't explain anything.
And sometimes you think you're out of it when the sight of a person or a reminder can pull you back in. Emotions are tricky beasts.
The unanswered questions and him breaking it off when he did and refusing to answer anything was more hurtful than if he had just explained the situation in some way. But, important to his character, he (mis)directs, takes blame, shifts explanations, and refuses to just lie. (If you take the angry breakup option and basically dare him to say he doesn't care, he looks so sad and he tells you he can't). He won't lie to her so he leaves it obscured, which can sometimes be the worst thing. To not know.
Exactly. I think if he'd just been like 'Nope, I never loved you. It was all a trick and you're just a sucker,' then the whole process of getting over it would be a lot easier. She probably wouldn't trust so easy after that, but it'd be easy to stop loving him.
There's no known time frame for this. Until we have story DLC set X time afterward, it's all headcanon.
I'd say that it would take mine more than a month or two to even begin to start healing. She'd accept that he left, but there are so many questions she has. The unanswered questions and him breaking it off when he did and refusing to answer anything was more hurtful than if he had just explained the situation in some way. But, important to his character, he (mis)directs, takes blame, shifts explanations, and refuses to just lie. (If you take the angry breakup option and basically dare him to say he doesn't care, he looks so sad and he tells you he can't). He won't lie to her so he leaves it obscured, which can sometimes be the worst thing. To not know.
I think it took me a year to get over someone once. Also didn't explain anything.
And sometimes you think you're out of it when the sight of a person or a reminder can pull you back in. Emotions are tricky beasts.
^ This. I think one of the things that Lavellan (at least my Lavellan anyway) needs in order to move on is closure. An explanation from him. Why did he suddenly end the relationship? Why did he just leave? And she never got any.
Wait... what somebody is interested in is in the blood? O_o
I'm with you on this. It's not like the game took away companions easily. Instead, you really have to work hard for it. Before you get them to leave you must have deliberately and carefully pissed them off. I find it really hard to achieve even. So if somebody really does that, he shouldn't complain about being left without a mage. And those who decide not to even recruit the people in the first place -- who does that on a first playthrough? (On the second one everybody knows Solas leaves, so that doesn't count.) And I see no point why people would even do that without knowing a person yet. Whoever refuses a companion before even having tried to get to know him/her deserves no pity anyway.
Another question, over all the talk of Lavellan sticking with Solas even after he left: it's been months, right? He left without a word, Lavellan did not hear from him, he's gone and a lot of time has passed. Does she really still carry her old feelings around? I mean, yes, some people are like that, so this is a serious question. It's been about 2+ months that I haven't played DAI now and I'd say I've been over my LI for probably 2 months.
I reckon it's just human nature to be more plagued by anything that's been left unfinished or uncertain. Of course you could argue that he dumps you - and that's as clear a moving-forward signal as you need - but as people point out he does it in a "I can't tell you why, and now I'll back away while giving you longing, tragic looks" sort of way. Maybe it's not rational or healthy, but it makes sense to me in terms of real experience.
And of course, as the player, we know what intense drama lies in store, and that must colour our impressions as well. I'd actually say that LIs with whom I've had totally normal, happily-ever-after relationships cease to be of much interest after a couple months, whereas this is the one that remains fascinating.
And while I'm typing, though I missed the discussion earlier: I agree with you about companions leaving. And just in general, I'm happy to give up some control and certainty of game balance in favour of story, etc.
I second this :X
It's terrible, but most likely
Speaking of which, anyone get a feeling Dorian is bi? Would make for interesting fiction
Dorian is only interested in men. That is why he and his dad had that argument. Dorian wasn't going to marry for show and keep his relationships with other men on the quiet and limited to meaningless sex. He wanted a boyfriend and the chance to be open with who he loved. He even says he didn't want to 'spend the rest of my life screaming on the inside.'
I do think the flirty relationship that an f!Inky can have with him is adorable, thought. Dorian is my Lavellan's best friend and being able to have the kind of relationship where it's clear they love each other in a non-sexual way is fantastic. I do think he loves an f!Inky he's friends with, he's just not, and won't ever be, in love with her.
^ This. I think one of the things that Lavellan (at least my Lavellan anyway) needs in order to move on is closure. An explanation from him. Why did he suddenly end the relationship? Why did he just leave? And she never got any.
Exactly. Especially when everything seems to be going great and someone just ends it without ever explaining anything. The guy I mentioned, well we were stupid teens at the time, but it was my first love and everything was fine, seemingly, and then he asked a mutual friend to deliver me a note through which he broke up with me and while we had the same friend group, we hardly spoke. His choice. He didn't really talk to me for like 2 years afterward.
Eventually, our friends helped matters and this guy is pretty much my closest friend now. I think the intensity of our relationship scared him at the time and he was too scared to talk to me. Which is all kind of silly in retrospect, but as I said, we were really young and having our first taste of love. I'm just glad we found our way back and formed a solid friendship that has lasted a long time and I'm confident will be a lifelong thing.
Now I'm just thinking of Origins and being able to strip Daveth and Ser Complains-A Lot just before the Joining.
*eyes Solas* Would have made his leaving a tad less painful if he did so in his small clothes.
I love him to pieces but he won't be getting my best gear ever again.
I keep reading about people who did this to keep the gear but I always found it in my inventory after they died. I did strip down Alistair when I did my jerk warden who exiled him. Didn't want to kill him but I also wanted to keep my DLC Warden armour. Made the Landsmeet hilarious.
Is that in the Battlemage Armour? I always go Battlemage Mail, so I'm not super familiar with the other high tier gear. Though I like certain aspects of the Battlemage Armour, the Mail with that furry shoulder wrap is where my heart's at. (Read: the armour that gives me the biggest lady boner.)
There is a single tier 3 chest in the Hinterlands. I farmed there for ages and got battlemage mail before I even did In Hushed Whispers. Guess what Solas was wearing for the entire game?
Wait... what somebody is interested in is in the blood? O_o
Of course.
You can take the Nord out of the snow, but you can't take the snow out of the Nord
^ This. I think one of the things that Lavellan (at least my Lavellan anyway) needs in order to move on is closure. An explanation from him. Why did he suddenly end the relationship? Why did he just leave? And she never got any.
I reckon it's just human nature to be more plagued by anything that's been left unfinished or uncertain. Of course you could argue that he dumps you - and that's as clear a moving-forward signal as you need - but as people point out he does it in a "I can't tell you why, and now I'll back away while giving you longing, tragic looks" sort of way. Maybe it's not rational or healthy, but it makes sense to me in terms of real experience.
I understand both of you, but that was me 10 years ago. Now having gone through the experience a few times, I have learned that you hardly ever get a reason. And if you got it, it often would not actually help you. When I was younger I needed closure so badly, but over time I've learned that this was not good for me. And the more often I experienced that history repeats itself, the less I needed this closure. I would still prefer to get it, but I would not diminish myself for it anymore. Waiting months for somebody to tell me why he left me? Especially if that person never tried to reach out and help me understand? My pride would not allow that anymore. Usually that person will not give you what you want (and more often than not it is not even about closure, even if we tell that ourselves, it is the desire to get a change to put things right, to convince the other one and make him see that there's a chance after all) and so you just risk looking like a fool.
In real life there is usually only one reason, which is "you are just not enough to want to stick with you". What this "enough" is, is almost irrelevant. Not pretty enough, not funny enough, not smart enough, not open-minded enough, not whatever enough. What does it matter in the end? You are what you are, you cannot (or should not) just change because somebody else would prefer you were different. All you can do is find somebody else who does want to stick around.
Lavellan's case would be a bit different if she knew he's that infamous ancient elf, who had no other chance but to leave. But she does not know, so neither I nor she can consider this in the thinking process. All she knows is he left her and never got back in touch. He knows where she is, never tried to send a message. That he has good reason to do so she might assume but cannot know.
But that's why I asked, because how people handle feelings and how long they stick to somebody who left is so individual. I know people in real life who couldn't get over somebody for years.
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