I think the manner in which they wrote the romance implied that the connection between Solas and Lavellan was very strong. Solas is so cagey the whole way through the romance, after all... Lavellan has to push through that in order for him to give in to his feelings and allow himself to be with her, and even then much of what he says implies that while he adores her he is very conflicted. It's unlikely someone who didn't care very much would go to all that trouble for a relationship that's about as stable as a three-legged chair.
Though I suppose if you RP the story as stretching over a year or two, it does make sense that her feelings might wane. Especially if you're playing an older Lavellan who is slowly getting fed up with all his 'mystery'.
I have a friend going through a breakup after four years, and it's less than a month later and she's looking at/chatting with other guys. I was surprised she started looking so soon. But what's soon to me wouldn't be soon to someone else. So I totally get people wanting to headcanon or RP something differently but as you said, the writing has some pretty strong indicators that this hits her hard. I know that's also an issue some people have with voiced protagonists but here we are.
My Lavellan is a little older, I think I have her at 30/31 and having loved and lost before. I wrote into my fics that there was just so much to do and also they had talks about after Corypheus was defeated that she kind of pushed her questions back a bit, even as they lingered there in the background, thinking there would be time afterward. Especially with his 'all will be made clear'. In part because she takes the initiative and kisses him first after all and has confidence in telling him to take all the time he needs, I also write her as a bit bold in her relationships but also as being someone who feels things very strongly. She follows her heart and that has sometimes had consequences.





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