I think what spirits cannot give Solas is a sense of belonging. He seems to form deep emotional bonds with some spirits like Wisdom and Cole, but they can't fill the void at the center of his being, which I think has to do with longing for the past. His loneliness is not so much for lack of people or beings he could interract with, but ones he can identify with. His land, his people, his way of life, are almost entirely gone and he seems to be one of few survivors. I think it's an important point that during the balcony scene he almost slips to tell Inky not just that he respect their wisdom and actions, but that they remind him so much of ancient Elvhenan, and this is the scene that starts the romance or friendship with Solas. In party banter he also tells Blackwall, "It is calming to see something familiar in another." I think he is torn between desperately trying to find something in common with another, salvage some sense of belonging to comfort him, and focusing on all that has been lost.
This also relates to his fear of dying alone. I see it interpreted literally in a lot of art and fics, that he literally does not to be alone while he is dying. Those are all heart-wrenching creative works that I love, but I think his fear is more about dying with no community, friends, or loved ones, and what that means. One of the ways we can deal with mortality is through sharing with others, and many people find comfort when dying in the thought that shared experiences, the relationships they formed, and memories of the impact they had on others will remain after their death. Solas doens't have that. Anyone he might've loved is gone. His community is gone. His legacy has been warped into the tales of Fen'Harel. Even the Inquisition will remember him as the mask of the quiet elven apostate. In a banter he tells Varric, "How can you be happy surrendering, knowing it will all end with you?" I think this is at the heart of his pain of being alone and his fear of dying alone. If he dies, it's not just him that is lost, it is all lost.
I am surprised that Solas does not take a leaf out of Mythal's book and make Horcruxes to prevent his death. Also, I think the Horcruxes are known as Soul Gems in Thedas. Think back to the spirit who teaches you Arcane Warrior specialization. He tells you that he put himself into the phylactery, expecting to be released but no one came for him and he became weak and wished to die instead.





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