153429 réponses à ce sujet

[Avejajed]

I don't want to stir the pot, and nor is this reply aimed at you in particular (not at all!), but...

In general, I take issue with being told too much when and where to have discussions about sensitive, and very political subjects, like mental illness. Sometimes it is a very quiet way of telling people to stop talking about it. Particularly, I think it's troubling when those who have struggled with mental illness are being told to change the subject, because those people often have the best, most accurate insight on the problem.

I think if someone has said or done something ableist - something which someone has a (quite rightly) principled opposition to - then I think it's wrong to change the subject just to ensure the perpetrator doesn't feel too uncomfortable. Offence isn't always subjective - sometimes, you just get it wrong, and I would prefer people to accept that they might be wrong, even if it is uncomfortable. If we can't point out when people are talking and thinking about mental illness in an insensitive or offensive manner, when will people's attitudes towards mental illness ever get better?

/hops off soapbox.

Nobody needs to reply to this - not everything I've said applies to what's happened. I'd just prefer for people to think about it, actually.

Point taken. But not everyone who has an illness like that or any other is comfortable discussing it and there may be people here for whom the topic is uncomfortable.

My point is that snapping at people and calling them insensitive and morally wrong doesn't teach or educate. There are better ways.

As far as people saying to take it to pm, well, people try to control the conversation and topic here frequently. This isn't new and it's not limited to this particular conversation and debate.

[MaidenM]

My Lavellan would... not pine but long for him I guess. My reasoning being that she's the Inquisitor, one of the most powerful people in Thedas. And it's lonely at the top.

 

She longs for the people who know her intimately from before, both friends, family and lost loves. Solas is one of them. Cassandra has likely been busy with the Seekers, Dorian might have gone to Tevinter (maybe Bull followed), Sera has Red Jenny stuff, Blackwall was thrown to the wardens, Vivianne is trying to restore the Circle, Varric has likely gone to the Free Marches, Cole is learning to be a human and Leliana is the Divine... It's pretty much just Josie and Cullen left for her. I'd say Seren Lavellan pines not just for Solas, but for everyone. The people who still might call her by name without feeling disrespectful.

 

Oh, and her clan is dead. I think she needs a happy ending now...

[Nightspirit]

I still get a little surprised when I come back to Skyhold and Lavellan is wearing her fancy formalwear outfit instead of pajamas. 

 

Also main hall decorated Tevinter style absolutely rocks combined with Dalish drapery and Inquisition heraldry. This is one crazy playthrough. 

 

I like the way Tevinter decorations look like so I choose them every time.

 

Mother Giselle: "This man is of Tevinter. His presence at your side, the rumors alone..."

Inquisitor: "Don't be ridiculous."

*Tevinter banners flapping in the wind*

[midnight tea]

Random thought popped in my head and I thought it would be an interesting discussion:

Since trespasser is two years after the end game , Would your Lavellan (I'll say the first one you plan on playing the dlc with) still care / pine for Solas?

 

I've been wondering a couple of times if we'd get interactions with other characters asking about how Lavellan feels, or did she move on (since she'd be the only Inquisitor put in such situation, and there's no way of telling if they'd get in any way equal romance content compared to others - AGAIN  ...). Would be interesting, though I don't want to expect too much. With the many variables in the plot this DLC has to handle, they likely didn't have many resources to go into such detail. 

 

(... but I'm tempted to switch Divines in my male warrior playthrough to see if romanced Cassandra will in any way address that they were together (are togeter?))

 

In any case - my elf mage has definitely not moved on. She's not crying her eyes out, or pulling Bella Swan after Edward disappears, but there's a flurry of unaddressed emotions underneath, even if she keeps her cool while Inquisitoring.

 

Alternately, if only a friend , how do you think your Inquizzy would feel?

 

Most would likely be at least curious as to why Solas disappeared so abruptly from the battlefield.

 

Lastly, is there anything you want or fear for the two year time skip as to what's happened with your Inquizzy? 

 

I'm kinda curious if we'd have any sort of dialogue options or something to 'fill in' some of the blanks - like we could tell Josie some things about our background or relations with our family/clan? Would be interesting to some, even if I don't expect too much.

 

Other than that it's hard to say. I suppose it will also depend how the world itself and the political situation has changed.

[Jayla]

I don't want to stir the pot, and nor is this reply aimed at you in particular (not at all!), but...

 

In general, I take issue with being told too much when and where to have discussions about sensitive, and very political subjects, like mental illness. Sometimes it is a very quiet way of telling people to stop talking about it. Particularly, I think it's troubling when those who have struggled with mental illness are being told to change the subject, because those people often have the best, most accurate insight on the problem.

 

I think if someone has said or done something ableist - something which someone has a (quite rightly) principled opposition to - then I think it's wrong to change the subject just to ensure the perpetrator doesn't feel too uncomfortable. Offence isn't always subjective - sometimes, you just get it wrong, and I would prefer people to accept that they might be wrong, even if it is uncomfortable. If we can't point out when people are talking and thinking about mental illness in an insensitive or offensive manner, when will people's attitudes towards mental illness ever get better?

 

I know you said not everything you said above applies to what happened here but I'd still like to point out I suggested they took it to PMs because it was getting heated, and it wasn't being handled respectfully. By all means, talk about it, but it's common courtesy to be respectful. I've said it before, but oftentimes arguments happen due to misunderstandings, and if it can be handled maturely then all kinds of drama can be avoided, and this thread has seen enough drama.

[AlleluiaElizabeth]

Unless you concede Merrill did wrong and take responsibility for her actions at Sundermount, with the Pride Demon, then you will have to butcher her clan. Whilst this doesn't actually impact the romance, it doesn't really spell 'happy ending'.

I don't recall ever conceding Merrill did wrong. I just said she was my responsibility and I'd deal with her. I did deal with her: by comforting her over her mother figure dying and encouraging her to believe in herself and keep the eluvian. lol

 

I like the way Tevinter decorations look like so I choose them every time.

 

Mother Giselle: "This man is of Tevinter. His presence at your side, the rumors alone..."

Inquisitor: "Don't be ridiculous."

*Tevinter banners flapping in the wind*

I can just imagine poor Mother Giselle looking around as the decor goes up like ".... Hm."

[drosophila]

I like the way Tevinter decorations look like so I choose them every time.

 

Mother Giselle: "This man is of Tevinter. His presence at your side, the rumors alone..."

Inquisitor: "Don't be ridiculous."

*Tevinter banners flapping in the wind*

 

I'm a fan of Tevinter, all hail the Imperium! My Lavellan is originally from Tevinter, because I couldn't stop inventing backstory for her, and because eventually I was trying on purpose to headcanon my way into the most self-contradictory fem Dalish mage playthrough imaginable. 

[Shari'El]

 

Hello guys i fainally decide to jump right in. 

i was reading the thread for 2 days and i want to say a lot of things so if this post get too long im sorry.

Wow i dont even know from where to begin hahaha...

So i love Solas so much and talk about his so much that my BF actually got jealous ( i cant make him play the games so no sympathy from him   )

 

<snipy>

 

First thing, welcome to the thread, secondly:

 

Welcome! I know what it's like to be a long-time lurker, first-time joiner. We value your contributions! 

 

Bolded: Hahaha, mine too! He played a female Qunari and romanced the Iron Bull, but he only played this game casually and moved on soon after. I played a female elf and romanced Solas, but I love Solas so much and talk about him so much that my boyfriend used to joke, "Should I be jealous?" Now he actually frowns when I mention Solas. ("I'm sorry!" I tell him, "But Solas' story isn't complete yet. I keep speculating because it's such a cliffhanger and I want to know what happens!")

 

Lololololol

A few days ago my boyfriend told me "I now recall there was a time Solas wasn't a part of our life and I didn't know what you were talking about".

He didn't play the game but after I finished it I couldn't stop myself from rambling on it and spoiling the game for him, he now uses it as an excuse to not play (he just doesn't want to get hooked on something, he used to play video games but now he wants to fully invest in music ).

We have friends who did play the game and I finished first among my friends and because of that he knew of the Dread Wolf before they did and had to keep it to himself every time they were around 

One of the our friends finished the game last week, and when we met him my BF finally vented out.

[Cee]

My Lavellan has loved before, so she's capable of healing from a broken heart. Her first, and longest, relationship lasted five years, nearly six. They both wound up still choosing to work together and became the closest of friends. But when that ended, they both knew, they both came to a decision. They, in fact, did wish to formally bond but due to both being women, it was discouraged at best. In my headcanon, they planned it and were going to but they realized it wasn't working as they hoped.

 

The important difference here is not just the intensity, but also the lack of answers, the lack of closure, how he pushed her back at the end, told her to harden herself. Her vallaslin being gone is a reminder of their happy moment and the new start she hoped for/expected after Corypheus, in addition to a reminder of the sadness that followed.

 

She throws herself into her work and I'm still planning to write a return to her clan for a visit with no vallaslin and her close friends the Tevinter mage and the spirit (no drama, clearly). I think I'll write that after playing Trespasser to maybe get characterization right if anything.  I don't see her jumping into relationships or anything.

 

So, yes, she'll have moved forward and patched over the wounds but she still cares. It's completely unfinished and unknown. So I expect her response to seeing him again would be a rush of different emotions.

[Jewlie Ghoulie]

I don't recall ever conceding Merrill did wrong. I just said she was my responsibility and I'd deal with her. I did deal with her: by comforting her over her mother figure dying and encouraging her to believe in herself and keep the eluvian. lol

I can just imagine poor Mother Giselle looking around as the decor goes up like ".... Hm."

"I believe he is being an influence on you. Tevinter's influence is a great concern."

"-puts on Venatori helmet- bruh, it's cool."

[Shari'El]

Also main hall decorated Tevinter style absolutely rocks combined with Dalish drapery and Inquisition heraldry. This is one crazy playthrough. 

 

We have the same decorations

[Shari'El]

Inquisitoring.

[Giton]

I know you said not everything you said above applies to what happened here but I'd still like to point out I suggested they took it to PMs because it was getting heated, and it wasn't being handled respectfully. By all means, talk about it, but it's common courtesy to be respectful. I've said it before, but oftentimes arguments happen due to misunderstandings, and if it can be handled maturely then all kinds of drama can be avoided, and this thread has seen enough drama.

It wasn't heated.

 

I was blunt. I called what she said irresponsible, because it was, in fact, an irresponsible thing to say.

 

I don't need my tone policed when it was not disrespectful. Give me a break.

[Jewlie Ghoulie]

I love seeing Everyone's answers so here is mine!

My first Lavellan would definitely still have feelings for him. Shs young and she's really niave. (My only Lavellan like this . I wanted to try something different.) but she would also , as someone mentioned before, miss everyone who left her side. I'm curious who that would be.

My Arienne Trevelyan had big plans in her life. Devoted to the Chantry and a proud Circle Mage, she would have only thought of Solas in passing. They respected each other and we're friends (surprisingly) but, she suspected the future that would be with Divine being Vivienne and her already claimed support of Circles, she wasn't surprised he left. She didn't think more on it, but wishes him well.

[MayriyaNoori]

I'm a fan of Tevinter, all hail the Imperium! My Lavellan is originally from Tevinter, because I couldn't stop inventing backstory for her, and because eventually I was trying on purpose to headcanon my way into the most self-contradictory fem Dalish mage playthrough imaginable.

Why am I still out of likes?

Anyway, I'm super hoping the next game takes place in Tevinter. Slave elf(well slaves in general) uprising. Bring. It. On.

[S.W.]

Random thought popped in my head and I thought it would be an interesting discussion:

Since trespasser is two years after the end game , Would your Lavellan (I'll say the first one you plan on playing the dlc with) still care / pine for Solas?

Alternately, if only a friend , how do you think your Inquizzy would feel?

Lastly, is there anything you want or fear for the two year time skip as to what's happened with your Inquizzy?

 

Hm. My main Lavellen is in her thirties, she had - until the Inquisition - been quite happy to settle down into her role as First without a long-term mate (not like she hadn't dabbled with partners before, just nothing serious). She was, for the most part, very involved with her work, keeping herself busy with sorting out disputes and negotiating with local traders and spies. Her keeper dealt with magic and arcane knowledge and mystical stuff, whilst she was more the administrator who dealt with the practical running of things. I imagine that she'd actually deal with the break-up in a very practical way - and quite well, too. After the initial heartbreak, she'd knuckle down with work until it was 'out of her system'. So, honestly, I think she'd be fine - and would continue to be fine.

 

I think it's worth considering the events of Inquisition are probably max. two years long - it's less to get over, in a sense. Not like a divorce after fifteen years of marriage and routine. Heartbreaking, but won't leave permanent scars (probably). I think my Lavellen never quite believed in 'the one', and wasn't much a romantic, so I think that also helps.

 

I think seeing him again will be a shock though - like, it'll be like being thrown back abruptly two years. I personally believe when relationships are ended abruptly by external forces, then yeah, of course you can rekindle things if conditions change and you still get on after time has passed. There'll probably be some sexual tension, at least. The reunion will probably not be great for her state of mind, and I'm pretty sure if she gets an honest answer, my Lavellen will be wishing she'd never bumped into him in the first place (although it'll probably confirm for her that it was the right decision to not return to the Dalish).

[Jayla]

It wasn't heated.

 

I was blunt. I called what she said irresponsible, because it was, in fact, an irresponsible thing to say.

 

I don't need my tone policed when it was not disrespectful. Give me a break.

 

Blunt. Okay.

 

I'm not policing anything, I'm voicing my opinion, you can tell me to shove it up my trumpet for all I care.

[laurelinvanyar]

I know you said not everything you said above applies to what happened here but I'd still like to point out I suggested they took it to PMs because it was getting heated, and it wasn't being handled respectfully. By all means, talk about it, but it's common courtesy to be respectful. I've said it before, but oftentimes arguments happen due to misunderstandings, and if it can be handled maturely then all kinds of drama can be avoided, and this thread has seen enough drama.

Here's the thing...none of that discourse was disrespectful and/or dramarama. Nor was it heated. 

[Miss This or That]

My Lavellan is a mixed ball of rage, sadness, anger and confusion. She wants all of the answers she can get, would practically show him the middle finger the first time they meet and maybe even punch him mentally with a carefully picked out, hurting line that she barks through gritted teeth. But then she'd become a sobbing mess that just can't understand why all of this had to happen in the first place. Basically, I'd describe her as a saber-toothed kitten. Not a tiger, definitely not because of how deeply she feels for Solas, but still, she's got claws and is a warrior through and through. She'd also kind of regret that she told him he should just not care because then she can call him a coldhearted son of a b*tch. My Lavellan would be able to survive him leaving her; she is in her thirties by the time Trespasser starts and the most important thing for her is being a warrior that can make a name for herself, without sounding like a threath to others. Still, she'd never forgot Solas and would probably cry herself to sleep a few times. Not that she would actually admit that to anyone, but yeah. She cares more than she wants to.

 

I love to read all of your Lavellan reactions, btw!

[S.W.]

Blunt. Okay.

 

I'm not policing anything, I'm voicing my opinion, you can tell me to shove it up my trumpet for all I care.

 

point of clarification:

 

"tone police" is a specific term relating to people dismissing other people's arguments for their tone (being too angry, too hostile, likely to cause drama, too blunt perhaps in this case), rather than their content.

[pushtheheart]

I'm trying to catch up on posts and spec, but here's two songs to add that definitely do not make me think of Solas/Lavellan:

 

Spoiler

Cold is the night without you here
Just your abscence ringing in my ears
And hard feels no fear,
'Cause without the bad the good disappears.

Long is the road that leads me home
And longer still if I walk alone
Bitter is the thought of all that time
Spent searching for something I'll never find.

So take this burden away from me
And bury it before it buries me.

Many are the days I've wanted to cease
Lay myself down and find some relief
Heavy is the head that gets no sleep
We carry our lives around in our memories

Take away this apathy
And bury it before it buries me

Steady is the hand that's come to terms
With the lessons it has had to learn
I've seen the things that I must do
But Lord, this road is meant for two
So I am waiting here for you

Take my hand and set me free
Take my burdens and bury them deep
Take this burden away from me
And bury it before
Bury it before
Bury it before it buries me

 

 

Spoiler

We were trying, but we're trying no more
It's cold on the floor, cold on the floor
This house has never been the same as before
It's never felt warm, never felt warm
There's something moving through the windows and walls
I've seen it before, seen it before
You left me living with a lingering soul,
how little you know, how little you know

We were standing at the foot of a path
I had to go back, had to go back
I chose to travel as a lonely man
So much that I lacked, so much that I lacked
I'm always wishing I was walking that road
It's something I hold, something I hold
I take it with me all the places I go
How little you know, how little you know

I only eat to fill me up
I only sleep to rest
I need a love just like you gave
I haven't found it yet, found it yet

See where I am is where I'm wanting to be,
I know what I need, know what I need
And there are many different places to see
I know how to dream, know how to dream
Still there's a wound and I'm moving slow
Though it don't show, though it don't show
I've got a hole where nothing grows,
How little you know little you know

I only eat to fill me up
I only sleep to rest
I need a love just like you gave
I haven't found it yet, found it yet

Maybe we'd marry and we'd work it out fine,
In some other time, some other time
And we are happy when I'm walking that line,
It's all in my mind, all in my mind
I paint the ceiling so that nobody knows
I cover it slow, cover it slow
It's like you've never even met me before,
How little I show, little I show

 

The second one especially makes me think of Solas. It just fits so well.

[Avejajed]

I'm not afraid of confrontation or heated arguments. Come at me bro!

Heh.