I think to an extent we're pretty much projecting a bit based on our Lavellans' personalities and seeing what we want to see in terms of Lavellan's body language in these scenes.
To me she's mirroring his stance here (mirroring is a pretty common flirting body language signal). The hands behind the back pose is a pose he adopts himself quite often, and folk don't tend to interpret Solas as young and coy in those moments - that's a gender politics issue I think actually. She's looking at him directly dead in the eye, shoulders squared forwards, head on - chin tilted up, almost defiant, a challenge. She looks confident. She's already actively pursued him with a fairly assertive physical gesture by this point (her initiating the kiss in the dream) - with that and her pose here she's making her intentions and wants pretty clear, only with how Solas has hesitated re: the whole thing thus far and his reserved nature she's waiting for him to pick up the ball she's already placed in his court. Then she initiates another assertive physical gesture after this scene (arm-grab) even after he tries yet again to disengage. She's active, not passive, and someone pursuing with some measure of confidence, not an innocent maiden.
But we're all gonna see what we want tbh.
^Yep, all of this.
I think it's worth noting that her demeanour needs to be read in the context of her actions. Femininity needn't be weak or passive. Lavellan is always taking an active, assertive role in the progress of the relationship, and I think this is a better indicator of where they stand.
With a character like Solas, whose experience and knowledge (and by Trespasser, brute power) far outrank the Inquisitor's, and where an important plot/character point is how Lavellan is unique and special to him, it would be quite easy to write a potentially unhealthy power imbalance into their relationship. Lavellan would be the object of his affection in quite a literal sense, put on a pedestal, where he is projecting qualities onto her which she simply does not have, and she feels pressured to meet these astounding expectations of a much older man that she can't possibly live up to.
In short, it could have easily been pretty messed up. Especially given the Trespasser revelations which stated he didn't really think she was a person at first.
The fact that Lavellan chases him is important. The fact that he isn't expecting anything of her - only to be caught off guard, is important. I don't really mind how feminine/masculine she is, because we sometimes imply those expressions of behaviour are more closely tied to power than she actually is.
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No one wants a cold. Have a kitty hug, and I hope you feel better soon!
It's good to know he felt that way. Cole, I'm counting on you!
