And I'm still catching up. 
So I'm curious. Has anyone started calling their partner "vhenan" in real life?
Unfortunately, as much as I'd love to, I don't have a partner IRL. I feel like I'm gonna be one of those people who's gonna be forever alone. 
Speakin of the spiders, what would your Lavellan really see the Fearlings as? I guess you could say "it's canon that Inquisitor is afraid of spiders" but really it's a gameplay/story segregation that they can't tailor Fearlings for everyone's PC's specific fears. Some examples iirc Cass sees them as maggots, Sera perceives them as areas of "nothing", and of course the names of the Fearlings themselves are good examples: the Calling, Templars, mages, darkspawn. There's also a codex entry which shows that they can also be more abstract - I think I remember reading someone's account of how when they stuck the Fearling with their sword, they were overcome with a crippling sensation of having disappointed their father or something like that. A related question is what would her tombstone be for you but that's asked a lot so.
Hmm, I'm not too bothered by spiders IRL unless they're as big as my hand, nor am I bothered by spiders in video games.
However, my Lavellan's greatest fear would either be loss, abandonment, or loneliness. Tala loves being surrounded by friends and family, so losing everyone she cares about and being left alone in the process is something she fears the most. (Solas leaving her did not help.)
So maybe like NeverlandHunter, she'd see the Fearlings as undead versions of her clan and her close friends in the Inquisition.
*snip*
Speaking of which and making this Solas related again, how much of an age gap does Solas have with your Lavellan? How old is (physically) Solas and your Lavellan?
I place my Lavellan at 23 at the start of the Inquisition and 26 by Trespasser.
*snip*
Tala is 21 at the start of DAI and is 24 by Trespasser. I always saw Solas as someone who was in their late 30s to early to mid 40s. (And I'm one of those crazy people who doesn't mind huge age gaps. *cough*
)
Cass is around that age too.
I guess my PCs have a thing for their partners being much older than them because my Trevelyan who romanced Cass is in his 30s. 