Case in point: The highlight of my trip today.
Opened tumblr in the middle of a bat mitzvah while being surrounded by children. Realized it's Saturday and closed it asap. Gladly, no one noticed, I think.
Next thing you know, a parental complaint like your dream over some kid seeing Tumblr on Saturday.
But hopefully not. 
Next thing you know, a parental complaint like your dream over some kid seeing Tumblr on Saturday.
But hopefully not.
Shoot, sorry, sometimes I forget its not a general social board. I'll switch him out for a Solas pic since its on top anyway.
Don't worry 'bout it. 90% of my posts are off-topic and I've yet to be banned 
This place way bigger than 'a thread where some people talk about a troubled, morally questionable bald egg'. We're a community 
Have some more esakris Solas. She mostly draws DA2 characters (not complaining: I could spend all day linking all the beautiful Merrill drawings she's done), so I think this one of the few sketches she's done of him.
So, I'm sitting here.....researching things......so that my first attempt at writing....certain things.....is not so terrible and my mind is so awful for this.
Like, I have learned I have the brain of someone like 13. I thought to myself "Wow, this is actually really hard."
And then giggled profusely for nearly 5 minutes and couldn't get over it.
I'm still snickering.
Update;
I'm still not over it.
How, how do people write this and not let it tumble into ridiculousness?
So, I'm sitting here.....researching things......so that my first attempt at writing....certain things.....is not so terrible and my mind is so awful for this.
Like, I have learned I have the brain of someone like 13. I thought to myself "Wow, this is actually really hard."
And then giggled profusely for nearly 5 minutes and couldn't get over it.
I'm still snickering.
I'm curious now which part is making you laugh so much. Reading how to write acts themselves, or because it's Zevran, or just the way other people write smutty things?
I've never gone past a fade to black style implication and even the physical affection I write tends to be written to primarily depict and evoke certiain feelings. I think trying to even write actual sex would be super awkward.
How, how do people write this and not let it tumble into ridiculousness?
One day soon you will be able to froth about the difficulty of finding decent words that don't sound vulgar, clinical, or childish for certain things.
And really, I've found writing any sort of intimate scene far easier than something like an argument. A lot of people think of or fantasize about intimate moments on a given day, but how often do you sit there and think about yelling at someone? And not just "I'm so mad I'd like to tell them this," but a full on back-and-forth fight that you can take seriously? It's hilarious.
Good luck.
I'm curious now which part is making you laugh so much. Reading how to write acts themselves, or because it's Zevran, or just the way other people do it?
I've never gone past a fade to black style implication and even the physical affection I write tends to be written to primarily depict and evoke certiain feelings. I think trying to even write actual sex would be super awkward.
Part of it is the terrible temptation of things being stupid porno cheesy with Zevran. It's just tempting but so not what I want to do.
Then, the fact that I have literally been researching terms all day long in order to find words I like. So, needless to say I have seen pretty awful stuff out there which contributes to me laughing, because some terms for actions and body parts are just outrageous.
Like, half of my brain is being really serious about trying to write two characters doing it realistically.....and the other half is yelling at me to write waht can only be described as comedic porn.
Like, half of my brain is being really serious about trying to write two characters doing it realistically.....and the other half is yelling at me to write waht can only be described as comedic porn.
Be careful.
I'll do it.
In separate works, but I'll do it.
Be careful.
I'll do it.
In separate works, but I'll do it.
That was the point.
You want to do it. And it will get your brain working in two flexible directions on this matter.
Like, half of my brain is being really serious about trying to write two characters doing it realistically.....and the other half is yelling at me to write waht can only be described as comedic porn.
This is pretty much my problem whenever I try to write anything. As much as I want to write something seriously, my bizarre sense of humour ends up overriding me and has always it devolve into something ridiculous.
That was the point.
You want to do it. And it will get your brain working in two flexible directions on this matter.
*sigh*
*opens new google doc and titles it Terribad Zevellan Porno*
No guarantee I will share. But it's officially a WIP.
*sigh*
*opens new google doc and titles it Terribad Zevellan Porno*
No guarantee I will share. But it's officially a WIP.
It may help you shake some things out.
Maybe literally.
Yeah....I'll just be over here in the 'writes feels and angst' corner.
So, I'm sitting here.....researching things......so that my first attempt at writing....certain things.....is not so terrible and my mind is so awful for this.
Like, I have learned I have the brain of someone like 13. I thought to myself "Wow, this is actually really hard."
And then giggled profusely for nearly 5 minutes and couldn't get over it.
I'm still snickering.
Update;
I'm still not over it.
How, how do people write this and not let it tumble into ridiculousness?
You must embrace the ridiculousness - if what you're writing is making you blush and giggle and it's supposed to be something fun and intimate, then you're probably doing it right.
Just to show where my research went........and part of why I am still having trouble with this.
This is so highly NSFW, but I recommend it if you are in need of being crippled with laughter.
But again, I warn.....so so so so NSFW material here. Of the absolute highest levels that you can imagine.
.
I'm not sure there is a right or wrong way to write such things. I have read classy depictions to full on detailed smut. All descriptions have their audiences.
If there is a wrong way, I'd say it would be wrong like any other kind of scene or writing that seeks to entertain - if it reads too dry, like an instruction manual, no feelings no personality, pointless action.
If there is a wrong way, I'd say it would be wrong like any other kind of scene or writing that seeks to entertain - if it reads too dry, like an instruction manual, no feelings no personality, pointless action.
Well, you never know with this realm of things.
I mean, someone out there might be really turned on by instruction manuals.
Well, you never know with this realm of things.
I mean, someone out there might be really turned on by instruction manuals.
Well, there are lots of very nice, very detailed and beautiful sex manuals. 
I'm thinking more like:
Then they had a long kiss. Then he touched her butt. Then he left. She cried. A lot. (the laconic version of the Crestwood scene )
About smut:
personally, the writing and reading of smut makes me very uncomfortable as well as scared, slightly. I'm very sensitive when it comes to sex
because of that, if I were to ever have sex in a fanfic of mine (I never would in my own book) I would probably just get someone else who likes writing it and collaborate with them for the certain chapter(s) just so I'm not made uncomfortable, but the story still reads like a cohesive whole.
also, I would never put in sex unless it seemed appropriate for the story
I'm not sure what I mean by this, but basically, if you don't think you could write smut up to the standard you have in your head, a little help in writing it from someone else would never hurt, especially if writing it is stressful for you or makes you unhappy/uncomfortable in any way
(this was kinda off topic, and also not really related to the actual problem, but I just felt like I should say this)
Just to show where my research went........and part of why I am still having trouble with this.
This is so highly NSFW, but I recommend it if you are in need of being crippled with laughter.
But again, I warn.....so so so so NSFW material here. Of the absolute highest levels that you can imagine.
Spoiler
The only regret I have from listening to this is sharing it with a friend. The conversation that followed involved mentioning that I laughed until I cried, to which tears are now considered eyeball orgasms.
Thanks so much for that.
About smut:
personally, the writing and reading of smut makes me very uncomfortable as well as scared, slightly. I'm very sensitive when it comes to sex
because of that, if I were to ever have sex in a fanfic of mine (I never would in my own book) I would probably just get someone else who likes writing it and collaborate with them for the certain chapter(s) just so I'm not made uncomfortable, but the story still reads like a cohesive whole.
also, I would never put in sex unless it seemed appropriate for the story
I'm not sure what I mean by this, but basically, if you don't think you could write smut up to the standard you have in your head, a little help in writing it from someone else would never hurt, especially if writing it is stressful for you or makes you unhappy/uncomfortable in any way
(this was kinda off topic)
Not off topic and total valid feels, falon
I hope drosophila is up for some serious beta business when this is done.
The only regret I have from listening to this is sharing it with a friend. The conversation that followed involved mentioning that I laughed until I cried, to which tears are now considered eyeball orgasms.
Thanks so much for that.
I legit got a cramp in my shoulder I laughed so hard.
I'm glad it amused.
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