Me: Well, if I start writing this, you're going to have a really good time, and then I'm going to have to hurt you. Really badly. It will be hard to write.
Paul: What? Well, maybe just write the whole "really good time" bit, then? Will my wife be there?
Me: Yes, Jennifer will be there too. You'll really enjoy yourselves...for a while. Unfortunately, she will also be in much pain after a while. I'm really sorry.
Paul: My daughter? Will she be okay?
Me: She's at home when this happens. Ellie is fine.
Paul: So, is there some way I can convince you to not write this at all? Just sort of, forget about me and my family?
Me: Well, I haven't quite been feeling very good tonight, so...maybe? But I would like to try. I'm still not sure how I will be able to write it, so you may get your wish after all.
....