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[Illyria]

Ancient Skyhold A Short Story
by Varric Tethras

Revas Lavellan was thinking about Solas Evanuris again. Solas was an arrogant wolf with pretty eyes and elven ears.

Revas walked over to the window and reflected on her elven surroundings. She had always loved ancient Skyhold with its shrill, shiny snow. It was a place that encouraged her tendency to feel sad.

Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the an arrogant figure of Solas Evanuris.

Revas gulped. She glanced at her own reflection. She was a considerate, wise, tea drinker with bald eyes and slender ears. Her friends saw her as an early, enthusiastic elf. Once, she had even rescued an excited Cole from a burning building.

But not even a considerate person who had once rescued an excited Cole from a burning building, was prepared for what Solas had in store today.

The snow flurried like kissing nug, making Revas compassionate. Revas grabbed a broken orb that had been strewn nearby; she massaged it with her fingers.

As Revas stepped outside and Solas came closer, she could see the vigorous smile on his face.

Solas gazed with the affection of 8570 intuitive spicy spirit. He said, in hushed tones, "I love you and I want to grab your butt."

Revas looked back, even more compassionate and still fingering the broken orb. "Solas, I want my tier four gear," she replied.

They looked at each other with hellspiralling feelings, like two spicy, squidgy snoufleur casting at a very charming sitting in judgement, which had Orlesian music playing in the background and two brave uncles butt grabbing to the beat.

Suddenly, Solas lunged forward and tried to punch Revas in the face. Quickly, Revas grabbed the broken orb and brought it down on Solas's skull.

Solas's pretty eyes trembled and his elven ears wobbled. He looked happy, his emotions raw like a rare, rapid rift.

Then he let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Solas Evanuris was dead.

Revas Lavellan went back inside and made herself a nice cup of tea.

THE END

[Cee]

 

Once, she had even rescued an excited Cole from a burning building.

I can picture this.

[Illyria]

I can picture this.

 

Same.

 

I think Varric is on elfroot right now:

 

Revas The Steadfast A Fantasy Novel
by Varric Tethras

 

"I'm going to need elven texts, big, elven texts."

 

During the Breach in Skyhold in 1989, a baby is born and dies before she can take her first breath.

During the Breach in Skyhold in 1989, the same baby is born and lives to tell the tale. That baby becomes 26-year-old Revas Lavellan, a steadfast and brave Inquisitor.

What if there were second chances? Third chances? Fourth chances? Would you eventually be able to save the world from arrogant Templars who shank each other? Would you even want to?

Revas The Steadfast follows Revas Lavellan and her delightful apocalypse boyfriend, Solas Evanuris, as their exciting lives tumble through turbulent events in Haven, again and again.

However, the end of the world approaches, and time is running out for Revas. She is left with two options: stop the arrogant Templars in one hour, or allow the world to end in a ball of fire.

Varric Tethras explores cheeses and elven texts to full effect in the fantasy novel to end all fantasy novels.

 

Praise for Revas The Steadfast

"Never have there been more chilling villains than arrogant Templars that shank each other."

- The Daily Tale

"Are we seriously supposed to find a steadfast and brave Inquisitor from Skyhold heroic?"

- Enid Kibbler

[Cee]

 

"Never have there been more chilling villains than arrogant Templars that shank each other."

 

My mind suddenly went here http://media.psu.com...amid_Head_3.jpg

[Illyria]

My mind suddenly went here http://media.psu.com...amid_Head_3.jpg

 

The ultimate Red Templars.

[Cee]

What To Do About Selfish Elves A Romance Novel
by Cee

"I'm going to need cute cows, big, cute cows."

During a birthday in The Emerald Graves in 1982, a baby is born and dies before she can take her first breath.

During a birthday in The Emerald Graves in 1982, the same baby is born and lives to tell the tale. That baby becomes 33-year-old Nirwen Lavellan, a caring and optimistic medium.

 

What if there were second chances? Third chances? Fourth chances? Would you eventually be able to save the world from selfish elves who break your heart each other? Would you even want to?

 

What To Do About Selfish Elves follows Nirwen Lavellan and her generous lover, Solas , as their complicated lives tumble through turbulent events in The Free Marches, again and again.

 

However, the end of the world approaches, and time is running out for Nirwen. She is left with two options: stop the selfish elves in one hour, or allow the world to end in a ball of fire.

 

Cee explores ropes and cute cows to full effect in the romance novel to end all romance novels.

 

 

"Never have there been more chilling villains than selfish elves that break your heart each other."

- The Daily Tale

"Are we seriously supposed to find a caring and optimistic medium from The Emerald Graves heroic?"

- Enid Kibbler

[Cee]

[Ivy Lavellan]

You've certainly come to the right place. *offers blanket fort cookies, pillows, and fuzzy animals*

 

Thanks. I never thought Solas would become my favorite character, but here I am.

[LadyKarrakaz]

Var lath vir suledin.

I'm heartbroken. Some fanart to feel better.

 

Source

[Sable Rhapsody]

I don't mind Solas being a villain but I don't want to be forced into having him as one.  It would be like if Morrigan just went 'lol nope.  Evil!' at the end of Witch Hunt.

 

I'm...not seeing the analogy?   Morrigan doesn't explicitly say she's planning the destruction of Thedas as we know it.  She's sketchy, sure, but the crap that Solas is getting up to is way, WAY beyond sketchy.  It's like comparing an earthworm to a rattlesnake.  It would be much, much more of a stretch for Morrigan to go "NOPE EVIL."

 

Solas is an antagonist.  He's still a fantastic character, but IMO there's nothing outlandish about assuming that he'll remain an antagonist.

[Alyka]

Okay let me try...

 

Plump Solas A Passionate Romance
by Alyka

 

Ellana Lavellan is a plump, delicious and intelligent painter from the village. Her life is going nowhere until she meets Solas , a shapely, soft man with a passion for food.

Ellana takes an instant disliking to Solas and the lazy and cruel ways he learnt during his years in the city.

However, when a dragon tries to punch Ellana, Solas springs to the rescue. Ellana begins to notice that Solas is actually rather caring at heart.

But, the pressures of Solas's job as a fletcher leave him blind to Ellana's affections and Solas takes up art to try and distract himself.

Finally, when narcissistic horse master, Morrigan , threatens to come between them, Solas has to act fast. But will they ever find the passionate love that they deserve?

Praise for Plump Solas

"I fell in love with the warm Solas . Last night I dreamed that he was in my teapot."

- The Daily Tale

(ROFL^)

 

"About as enjoyable as being slapped with a dead fish, but Plump Solas does deliver a strong social lesson."

- Enid Kibbler

"I love the bit where a dragon tries to punch Ellana - nearly fell off my seat."

- Hit the Spoof

"I could do better."

- Zob Gloop

[Illyria]

I'm...not seeing the analogy?   Morrigan doesn't explicitly say she's planning the destruction of Thedas as we know it.  She's sketchy, sure, but the crap that Solas is getting up to is way, WAY beyond sketchy.  It's like comparing an earthworm to a rattlesnake.  It would be much, much more of a stretch for Morrigan to go "NOPE EVIL."

 

Solas is an antagonist.  He's still a fantastic character, but IMO there's nothing outlandish about assuming that he'll remain an antagonist.

 

I'm tired and ill so probably don't make much sense right now.

[Sable Rhapsody]

I'm tired and ill so probably don't make much sense right now.

 

Here, have some tea porn!

 

 

Solas, you take your stupid disapproving face somewhere else, you hear me?  Tea is good for you!

[dawnstone]

Var lath vir suledin.

I'm heartbroken. Some fanart to feel better.

 

Source

This is a really beautiful picture, but I can't help thinking that Solas is looking at her like he's jealous of her lovely flowing locks.

[lynroy]

Here, have some tea porn!

 

 

Solas, you take your stupid disapproving face somewhere else, you hear me?  Tea is good for you!

[Sable Rhapsody]

Got distracted from grad AU by Overwatch, and I'll probably continue to be distracted all weekend  To tide y'all over, have a short snippet of Cole and Lavellan baking.

 

Spoiler

"Cole--" She firmly tugged the peppermint chocolate chips out of the boy's hands.  "You can't just eat them.  You have to fold them into the batter."

 

Cole looked wistfully at the half-empty bag.  "But I'm going to eat them anyway in the cake."

 

"Yes, but--" Lavellan dumped the chips she'd managed to rescue into the batter, wondering how to explain this to him. 

 

"Look, when you make coffee for people, you make it all at once,  You don't drink a mouthful of coffee, then some steamed milk, then eat a spoonful of sugar."

 

"I like that song," Cole said vaguely.  He hummed a few bars of "A Spoonful of Sugar," waving the sticky batter spoon in circles as he did so.  Lavellan took a few steps back and waited for him to finish before guiding him back to the bowl of chocolate cake batter. 

 

"Solas likes sweet things."  Cole's big blue eyes moved from her to the cake batter and back again.  "Do you think he'll like this?"

 

Lavellan suppressed a chuckle, remembering the time Solas and Dorian ate their way through a full paper bag of leftover pastries.  Including some brownies that were better off as ballistics than food.

 

"Don't worry," she said.  "We'll make a pastry chef out of you."

[Cee]

Overwatch looks like a lot of fun, despite my kind of sucking at anything that resembles competitive FPS style games. I want to try playing Mei. She's adorable and looks like so much fun.

[dawnstone]

Ellana Lavellan is a plump, delicious and intelligent painter from the village

 

"I love the bit where a dragon tries to punch Ellana - nearly fell off my seat."

- Hit the Spoof

 

This is amazing - sounds kinky, too.

 

Here, have some tea porn!

 

 

Solas, you take your stupid disapproving face somewhere else, you hear me?  Tea is good for you!

Yes! I'm drinking tea right now! IT'S GREAT!

[drosophila]

Hey, thread, check this out.

 

http://eveningalchemist.tumblr.com/

[Sable Rhapsody]

Overwatch looks like a lot of fun, despite my kind of sucking at anything that resembles competitive FPS style games. I want to try playing Mei. She's adorable and looks like so much fun.

 

FPS's aren't my thing either, but the utility/support characters really contribute a lot to a match.  They're less about damage, and more about map control and supporting teamfights.  Lucio, Symmetra, and Mei are currently my favorites to play.  

[Qun00]

I've always thought that removing the vallaslin was a simple decision. It's a mistake that needs to be corrected, right?

But there is so much involved. You have to ask, "what does it mean to be Dalish in my character's point of view?" If it means recreating the past, then wearing those markings now is just as wrong as it was before. If your belief is that the Dalish are
meant to defend an identity apart from old Arlathan, then there is value in keeping the vallaslin.

One could also wonder what place it has in the post revelation future for the elves. Both removing and keeping it can represent change in different ways.

[Illyria]

Here, have some tea porn!

 

 

Solas, you take your stupid disapproving face somewhere else, you hear me?  Tea is good for you!

 

This helps, thanks.

[Barnzi88]

Does anyone know why every time I download a complexion, it never works with the BE? As in, I can't enter the BE at all, it just freezes.

Happened in the past with Yennefer's complexion so had to discard it. Now I found a complexion that looks nice and the face is totally clean (no moles, no scars, no freckles etc) which I would like to use, but alas that one breaks the BE as well...

How am I supposed to try these on if I can never reach the mirror? :s

Am I missing something, or.. does anyone know of a complexion that works with the BE?

 

Anything to do with complexions, eye textures, eyelash changes, tattoo changes, scar changes, or ANYTHING to do with Qunari, the Black Emporium shuts down. Hair mods won't appear but they won't cause the game to crash, luckily, they'll reappear as soon as you exit the emporium. Your best bet is to memorize where everything is and just blindly make changes. What I do is make a new game so I can access the CC at the start, and then memorize where the hair, eyelash or what not is.

After that, place in the vanilla patch and enter the emporium. Once you're certain you've got everything down pat, exit and then place in your modded patch.

[Gwyvian]

Oooh, we’re doing this now! *rubs hands together*

 

The Thedas Tea Party - A Historical Fiction Novel

by Gwyvian

 

The Evanuris have only just begun colonizing a newly discovered part of the Fade where nug spirits frolic and everything is shaded slightly green for mysterious reasons, but little do they know that not only nugs dwell there.

 

Meanwhile in another time, Gwenhyfar Lavellan, a rogue with considerable nug-charming talent, succumbs to the irresistible whispers of her valleslin and takes a shortcut through the Fade via a strange wormhole propagated by a mad Tevinter mage named Dorian; but instead of ticking off her shopping list, she finds herself stuck and swept up in a stormy romance with the Frolic Master himself, a lone wolf named Solas the Gray.

 

All seems rosy, in a sickly green way, until the Evanuris declare tea as the national beverage of the Fade, with a stipulation that all nugs and those who work with the fiendishly cute creatures must pay in dream currency for a hot beverage they all despise. To make matters worse, Solas discovers that Gwenhyfar secretly loves the drink and they become estranged, until he uncovers a plot by the Evanuris to seduce Gwenhyfar with the tea, finally realizing that it isn’t her fault at all.

 

Solas will not stand for this, and he drags Gwenhyfar, his new nug-whisperer, into his scheme to dump all the Evanuris’ tea into a very small lake that he carries in a furry pocket. Unbeknownst to the nug-lovers, their actions thrust the entire world in two timelines into a fluffy rebellion. Will Gwenhyfar have to make difficult moral choices? Will she return to her own time and slap the Tevinter mage silly for sending her to the past instead of Val Royeaux? Will the tea finally win Solas over and doom the nug rebellion?

 

Praise for The Thedas Tea Party

“Time travel is truly something we’ve never seen before! Phenomenal and gripping!”

- The Daily Tale

“We found the nug characters to be disappointingly static – otherwise this might have been a great mystery novel.”

- Enid Kibbler

“Delightful and gripping! The love story in the upside-down caramel dispenser is truly brilliant!”

- Hit the Spoof

“The idea had potential.”

- Zob Gloop

[Gwyvian]

*adds several puppies*

 

 

All hail Lord Woolsley!

 

Aww, thank you! *grabs puppies and adds them to blankets*