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[drosophila]

More Art

 

Break Your Chains (I love this)

http://widdershins-w...hains-564768957

 

The same artist also had this on their deviantart:

 

http://widdershins-w...-Kiss-529478478

 

I can hear the Calling, beckoning me back to the feels corner.

[NightSymphony]

oh yes..Widdershins has a lot of beautiful Solas art.

[drosophila]

You have to drosophila! It's our unofficial motto!

 

It was never my unofficial motto. Mine is: BioWare, give me Solavellan happy times by the end of DA4, or I'll unleash my demon army on you. 

[Sable Rhapsody]

It was never my unofficial motto. Mine is: BioWare, give me Solavellan happy times by the end of DA4, or I'll unleash my demon army on you.

Gotta find some gullible Wardens first!

I feel like my standards drop each time the story gets drawn out. I used to want more of a happy ending. Now I just want decent closure so I can be done hellspiralling

[drosophila]

Gotta find some gullible Wardens first!

 

That has been taken care of. My plan's been working well so far.

[MayriyaNoori]

Gotta find some gullible Wardens first!

I feel like my standards drop each time the story gets drawn out. I used to want more of a happy ending. Now I just want decent closure so I can be done hellspiralling

Poor Wardens......

 

.....they're never going to be able to live that one down.

 

At least Alistair and my Warden didn't get caught up in that.

 

And you know both of them were just shaking their heads like "WTF guys?!?!?!?!/ seriously?!?!? We went and handled a freaking Blight just the two of us and everyone was like "Yay Wardens!" and now you go and do this!!! WTF?!?!?!"

[Flemmy]

I hope someone haven't posted this yet, and I'm still trying to catch up on this thread.

Okay here we go. What If Solas succeds with he's plans and the inquisitor survives and of course he would be happy with his Vhenan being alive and all but also probably quite the shock. ( Well seen he is not very optimistic about her survival.) This would be pretty intresting story lead don't you think? Thoughts?

 

PS: I apologies for any misspelling or grammer ect...

[Ajna]

**** YOU TRENT REZNOR! STOP MAKING ME LISTEN TO YOU!

 

 

 

 

 

Sorry guys... you know how it is...

[Ellawynn]

 

 

Spoiler

Right so, feeling real inadequate right now. And objectively, I know my writing isn't total crap, but I just... it's not there. What I'm looking for still isn't there. And I want to be better, there are so many things I want to write, but I keep on dropping things, losing motivation halfway. Keep on thinking, what even is the point of this, would it even matter if I wrote this, who the heck cares, am I even enjoying what I'm doing, why do I get so caught up in style and rhythm and all that crap when I just want to write something simple and honest for the love of god brain stop editing please stop.

 

*sigh* Yeah I dunno. Writing's a pain sometimes.

Hey, I know this is a few pages back, but I saw this and - I mean, I've been there before. I think every creative type has. And I always used to be really down on my writing until I took up art. Because the art started as just a way to kill time when I was bored, so I could doodle in the margins of a notebook during class and not care if it was crap - it didn't matter, not like writing did. And then I started doodling outside of class, and then I started drawing whenever I got writer's block, and now I draw just for the sake of drawing. And now, now my art matters, almost as much as writing, and I want to be good, great even, but I know I'm just not there yet.

 

But that's the thing - Yet. I'm not there yet.

 

And that's important to remember, you know? You get a little better every time you try. You can go back through work from years ago and see how vastly you've improved - and it didn't happen by magic or accident, it happened because you kept going. You would have never gotten to this point if you hadn't. Even if you're not where you want to be yet - and I'm not convinced you aren't - you never will be if you give up. 

 

(And as for the incessant editor problem - I always try to tell myself "Well, if it's crap, it's crap that I can just keep on my computer forever and let no one else see. So might as well get it down anyway.")

[Rascoth]

Back to the soundtrack talk that happened a few ("a few", she said... right...) pages ago. I love DAI soundtrack. The Dread Wolf, The Lost Temple, Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts. And taver songs (Samson's Tale always makes me stop and just... listen). But I weep quietly every time I remember this piece didn't make it into DAI. 

 

I'll just leave this here.

From here (There is a download link.  )

That last part... Why... Just... Why... 

I need tissues. Or better. Beer. Yes, beer is better *goes to drown her feels*

 

With that, I'll leave the last word to Hawke (quoting from memory) :  That's what happens when you try to change things; things change. You can't always control how.

One of the smartest lines Hawke ever said. Or maybe the only one. That depends on what kind of Hawke you played.

 

So I finally started a twitter account and for my first tweet I asked a very important question!

-snip-

That is indeed an important question and I approve of the fact you asked.

[Sable Rhapsody]

And you know both of them were just shaking their heads like "WTF guys?!?!?!?!/ seriously?!?!? We went and handled a freaking Blight just the two of us and everyone was like "Yay Wardens!" and now you go and do this!!! WTF?!?!?!"

Seriously. My Amell is kinda done with the Wardens though. She's gotten increasingly disillusioned with them since Amaranthine. She only stays because of Alistair, and the Wardens only put up with her because she's damn good at killing darkspawn.

[Cee]

Spoilered for personal thinking out loud...

 

Spoiler

You know flabb (sorry I love calling you that). I'm like this now. Back when I used to write (poetry), I was living and breathing it, writing if not 24/7 (sometimes even 24/7), then whenever I wasn't doing anything else, but I needed it at the time (mental illness). But when I didn't need it anymore, I seemed to be unable to write like I did anymore, when I think about it now.

I figured that once it had saved my life I couldn't write from my soul anymore, I had no need to, it seemed I could only write from my brain (does that make sense?), and it's SO frustrating. When I think about writing now, my interest is piqued and then my brain will cut in and change everything. Perhaps because I don't NEED to write for myself anymore, and I don't seem to be able to write for other people. Perhaps I was never meant to write forever.. *shrugs*.  I dunno, I just felt you here and this came out...

 

 

Spoiler

*AAAAAALL THE HUUUUUUGS*

 

And yes, others' indifference can be so paralyzing. And that little voice! God, why can't we just magic those intrusive thoughts away T_T. And when you look at what other people have written...! I don't like feeling bitter. I hate the way I can't help but compare my own stuff with theirs, when I just want to enjoy what they've written. *sigh*. But yeah, tomorrow's going to be a better day 

 

 

Spoiler

Well that's... terrifying  . Because that just might be what's happening to me right now, losing interest because I don't need it anymore. But I still WANT to write. I want to write so many things, I want to write everything, but the motivation to pull through until the end just isn't there. Maybe because I've already coped with all the things I needed to cope with. And now, haha, I'm scared. Because I've also still got my thesis to write, and that's already been delayed so many times. Oh god I think I need to drink some tea.

 

Oh and it's fine if you call me flabb, no need to say sorry 

 

 

Spoiler

 And hm. Do you think it would help with your own ratings if we built a BSN Solas Thread collection on AO3?

 

I'm just going to address you in a long post all under one set of tags.

 

Spoiler

 

Reddit r/Solasmancers has a fic collection on AO3 that many of us have added to. I don't see why we couldn't. Just that if it will be set to approval necessary, that someone who is available regularly should run it.

 

Writing is something I've done, in one way or another, since probably as soon as I was literate. In one way or another, I'd create stories and sometimes they were just in my head, like headcanons about my favorite books or shows. Writing fiction and poetry gave me the opportunities to learn about so much and yes, I also used writing to help me with some very difficult personal times. I was bullied really badly, and I'm wired to be a sensitive and empathetic person (which to bullies is like a big painted target on you) so that messed me up for years. I developed bad anxiety at 7 or 8 and soon after depressed enough to go emotionally numb. It was a long, long time ago and I'm okay now. But writing was one of the things that grounded me and made me able to get things out, along with reading and learning. The paper wasn't going to hurt me. I could take myself away from real life.

 

Anyhow, I never actually wrote any of my made up headcanons down until the Solavellan stuff.

 

Part of why I decided to use my feelings and channel them into writing was because I was afraid I couldn't, like it was somehow gone. I have done a lot of writing over the years and a lot of my work writing was just articles and things intended for the internet. I felt like maybe my work stuff had partly ruined me or something? I don't know. But it was a small bit of self-doubt that I'm glad I decided to see this personal challenge through. Because now, even though we are all our worst critics, because we see every idea that goes in, every idea that was, every half-formed phrase, the whole naked process, I feel more confident in my own ability at least.

 

As to the idea of comparisons to other people. There are always other people's work you will love and you will feel like yours pales in comparison and 'I will never be able to do anything quite as good' but you can totally be influenced by other people's styles without necessarily making comparisons. Pick things you like and maybe even emulate them a bit, but adapted in your own way. And it's also good to both recognize your strengths and use them but also acknowledge that you're not as good at certain bits and either work through ways to improve them (prompts, writing advice blogs, etc) or just say, you know what, (in my case!) other people are much better at writing funny things than I am. I'm basically Cole + Josephine rolled into one IRL. Some things I say or come up with will be unexpectedly funny (usually somehow sweet and/or personal), but I'm not witty or snappy, and I admire that in people who are.

 

It doesn't mean I can't improve a bit, but I'm better at getting into someone's head and discussing how something feels to a person than writing breezy, fluffy, or clever humor. Concentrating on improving the things you're good at is another strategy. I personally try to do a mix of both strengths and learning, and it's beneficial.

 

So, ultimately, even if you feel like you need to or want to put it away for a while, that's okay too. But sometimes just writing, even if you set a timer for 10 minutes and produce nothing usable but strange phrases and type up how bored you are and my goodness the time is passing so slowly, why doesn't time ever pass this slowly when I'm doing something I enjoy and is it 10 minutes yet?

 

And if you're feeling overwhelmed or indifferent, that's fine too. Writing for yourself, primarily, is a good base. I don't post things with expectations. Words have been leaking from my brain for a lifetime. But posting things up takes them out of a private file for me and means it's out there, stop fiddling with it endlessly. It can feel freeing and let you go onto the next thing.

 

 

Does this count as my writing for the day?
 

[Cee]

 Thanks. =)

 

And yeah, I've been thinking about it lately and I can see my Lavellan going through a whole process of regretting her choice and then being really angry at Solas that he told her what the marks meant.

 

Marked without being marked. It's ouch.

 

Lots and lots of feelings given the rapid turn of events. The sudden shift hurts, regardless of the decision. I took my cues from the post-breakup banter initiated by Cole when I wrote my return without vallaslin story. I think you did a very Cole thing and I like having used Cullen since he turns up more rarely in these.
 

[MayriyaNoori]

Lots and lots of feelings given the rapid turn of events. The sudden shift hurts, regardless of the decision. I took my cues from the post-breakup banter initiated by Cole when I wrote my return without vallaslin story. I think you did a very Cole thing and I like having used Cullen since he turns up more rarely in these.

I like to think of Cullen as my Lavellan's adopted brother.

AKA ultimate friendzone

[Flemmy]

I just saw the Morrigan statue on the Bioware store and I was wondering...if they ever made a statue of Solas, would you buy one? Even if it sucks your wallet dry? As someone who is geeky enough to own an anime 1/8 scale figure (Alter's renewal version of Natsume Takashi from Natsume Yuujinchou, to be exact - and I have three other figures on pre-order) I would seriously sell my soul to the Dread Wolf to own a statue of Solas. Seriously. 

Probably i would. He a great character in good and bad.

[Cee]

Oh, are we in the music hellspiral again?  For friendship and romanced quizzy who tries to redeem Solas.

 

 

This song is on the list of songs that make me totally cry every time. I prefer the original though. But Nick Pitera is great.

 

 

I see nothing wrong, you're not craving adulation, just communication. I'm the same. It's not that every comment has to be, "This is the best thing I've ever read", because, dude, if someone says this, I'm self-critical enough not to believe it. But it's nice when someone points out which particular line they liked and what stood out. I try to do that more when I comment these days. And if you've formed enough of a relationship that people also offer constructive criticism, that's even better. I've yet to see that happen to me though. But even just getting feedback on people's reactions it's so precious, I was truly surprised a couple of times, because people's reactions were very different from what I had intended, and it helped to know that.

 

Yes, this. Criticism or a comment on something that stands out. I try to tell people something that stood out even if it's not as a direct comment on the thing. But feedback is always nice, even if it's a point of criticism, because sometimes that's helpful in improvement. It really does help what people notice, what stands out to them, because it can vary as much as people do.

 

[Cee]

**** YOU TRENT REZNOR! STOP MAKING ME LISTEN TO YOU!

 

 

 

 

 

Sorry guys... you know how it is...

 

The other day, my stream kept picking the most depressing songs to play. When it played Hurt, I shut it off after that and played a custom list.

 

 

That has been taken care of. My plan's been working well so far.

 

 

[Cee]

I like to think of Cullen as my Lavellan's adopted brother.

AKA ultimate friendzone

 

You cruel woman.

 

At least when you have a f!Lavellan with a Dorian BFF relationship, there's no friendzoning happening.   
 

[Ajna]

The other day, my stream kept picking the most depressing songs to play. When it played Hurt, I shut it off after that and played a custom list.

 

 

 

 

 

All That Could Have Been for me, AllThatCouldHaveSoddingWellBeen! Plummeted to the very bottom of the hellspiral in record time...

 

 

I closed You Tube...

[MayriyaNoori]

You cruel woman.
 
At least when you have a f!Lavellan with a Dorian BFF relationship, there's no friendzoning happening. 

/sad face

I can't think about it too much, or else I'll have to write some alternate timeline of my Lavellan getting with Cullen.

[drosophila]

I'm just going to address you in a long post all under one set of tags.

 

Spoiler

 

Reddit r/Solasmancers has a fic collection on AO3 that many of us have added to. I don't see why we couldn't. Just that if it will be set to approval necessary, that someone who is available regularly should run it.

 

Writing is something I've done, in one way or another, since probably as soon as I was literate. In one way or another, I'd create stories and sometimes they were just in my head, like headcanons about my favorite books or shows. Writing fiction and poetry gave me the opportunities to learn about so much and yes, I also used writing to help me with some very difficult personal times. I was bullied really badly, and I'm wired to be a sensitive and empathetic person (which to bullies is like a big painted target on you) so that messed me up for years. I developed bad anxiety at 7 or 8 and soon after depressed enough to go emotionally numb. It was a long, long time ago and I'm okay now. But writing was one of the things that grounded me and made me able to get things out, along with reading and learning. The paper wasn't going to hurt me. I could take myself away from real life.

 

Anyhow, I never actually wrote any of my made up headcanons down until the Solavellan stuff.

 

Part of why I decided to use my feelings and channel them into writing was because I was afraid I couldn't, like it was somehow gone. I have done a lot of writing over the years and a lot of my work writing was just articles and things intended for the internet. I felt like maybe my work stuff had partly ruined me or something? I don't know. But it was a small bit of self-doubt that I'm glad I decided to see this personal challenge through. Because now, even though we are all our worst critics, because we see every idea that goes in, every idea that was, every half-formed phrase, the whole naked process, I feel more confident in my own ability at least.

 

As to the idea of comparisons to other people. There are always other people's work you will love and you will feel like yours pales in comparison and 'I will never be able to do anything quite as good' but you can totally be influenced by other people's styles without necessarily making comparisons. Pick things you like and maybe even emulate them a bit, but adapted in your own way. And it's also good to both recognize your strengths and use them but also acknowledge that you're not as good at certain bits and either work through ways to improve them (prompts, writing advice blogs, etc) or just say, you know what, (in my case!) other people are much better at writing funny things than I am. I'm basically Cole + Josephine rolled into one IRL. Some things I say or come up with will be unexpectedly funny (usually somehow sweet and/or personal), but I'm not witty or snappy, and I admire that in people who are.

 

It doesn't mean I can't improve a bit, but I'm better at getting into someone's head and discussing how something feels to a person than writing breezy, fluffy, or clever humor. Concentrating on improving the things you're good at is another strategy. I personally try to do a mix of both strengths and learning, and it's beneficial.

 

So, ultimately, even if you feel like you need to or want to put it away for a while, that's okay too. But sometimes just writing, even if you set a timer for 10 minutes and produce nothing usable but strange phrases and type up how bored you are and my goodness the time is passing so slowly, why doesn't time ever pass this slowly when I'm doing something I enjoy and is it 10 minutes yet?

 

And if you're feeling overwhelmed or indifferent, that's fine too. Writing for yourself, primarily, is a good base. I don't post things with expectations. Words have been leaking from my brain for a lifetime. But posting things up takes them out of a private file for me and means it's out there, stop fiddling with it endlessly. It can feel freeing and let you go onto the next thing.

 

 

Does this count as my writing for the day?
 

 

You have all the hearts and hugs from me     

 

Spoilered response, becasue this totally inspires me to write personal things

 

Spoiler

Damn, Cee, I can relate to this so well. I have dealt with the bullying (tbh, I think kids just target the more sensitive/impressionable kids, because they know they'll get a reaction from them), which was made worse by growing up in a very unstable household with an abusive parent, two close relatives committing suicide, an alcoholic family member, yeah I could probably go on with my list, but all I really want to discuss about my life is... Frilly cakes! Why don't we just talk about those! And it took its toll in recurrent depression, which comes and goes ostensibly at random every 2-3 years, but I'd like to pretend it never happened during an off-phase such as now. 

 

I don't know if I started writing to help me deal specifically with these things, or it was simply something I enjoyed and was good at, if the opinions of schools teachers are a reliable indication for this. In the midst of general hell, there was one thing that was good, and I felt confident about, and I enjoyed, so of course I kept doing it. My closest childhood friend is this girl I wrote a "book" with. (It's hilariously bad, but we were 13 at the time )

 

I wrote and read anything and everything throughout my childhood and adolescence. Then I came to the US for college and the headcanons just stopped. I didn't have any ideas and didn't feel the need to write anything for almost 10 years. Now I think it was because my brain was getting rewired and re-adjusted to the new culture and new language. I spoke and wrote well when I came here first, well enough to get me through college, but it was very stilted and not creative. It took a long time to get that "playfulness" with the English language that I took for granted with my native tongue. I still write things very slowly, and wonder if some of the expressions I use are weird, and some of them probably are, but Solas helped me get back to the point where I dream and come up with ideas and feel the need to get them out. So he basically reinforced my connection to the fade  And to me that's honestly worth all the Solavellan hell I must endure. 

 

Honestly, most of the time I don't worry too much about how well I'm doing. I feel that adrenaline rush when I'm inspired to write something. As long as that feeling is there for 90% of the chapter, I often feel like it's a good chapter. I think I'm at the point where I should probably get more analytical, take notes on what works and what doesn't and hone writing as a skill, but everything in its due time. 

 

One day when I'm 190 years old and looking back, I know I'll have created something, and something is left behind me. That's a lot in itself.

[drosophila]

 

Oh and of course, you deserve as much credit for the plan as I do, but it's kinda evil which is why I've been posting like I'm the one to blame   (I take this too seriously)

[Sable Rhapsody]

I never flirted with Cullen playing as Lavellan.  So it's not so much friendzoning as just friends  Poor noodlehead already got that once from Amell, he doesn't need it from another PC!  My Lavellan was an only child, but she was really close with her two older cousins.  And in disposition, Cullen is rather similar to her male cousin.  Grumpy, awkward stick-in-the-mud

 

The hilarious thing is that my Lavellan was scared of Cullen at first.  Cullen, who's such a useless puppy he can't even make it through Wicked Grace without the Walk of Shame  But she only knew him by reputation, as the former Knight-Captain of Kirkwall, and he's definitely not the most approachable member of the Inner Circle at the start.

[Moondreamer01]

You have all the hearts and hugs from me     

 

Spoilered response, becasue this totally inspires me to write personal things

 

Spoiler

Damn, Cee, I can relate to this so well. I have dealt with the bullying (tbh, I think kids just target the more sensitive/impressionable kids, because they know they'll get a reaction from them), which was made worse by growing up in a very unstable household with an abusive parent, two close relatives committing suicide, an alcoholic family member, yeah I could probably go on with my list, but all I really want to discuss about my life is... Frilly cakes! Why don't we just talk about those! And it took its toll in recurrent depression, which comes and goes ostensibly at random every 2-3 years, but I'd like to pretend it never happened during an off-phase such as now. 

 

I don't know if I started writing to help me deal specifically with these things, or it was simply something I enjoyed and was good at, if the opinions of schools teachers are a reliable indication for this. In the midst of general hell, there was one thing that was good, and I felt confident about, and I enjoyed, so of course I kept doing it. My closest childhood friend is this girl I wrote a "book" with. (It's hilariously bad, but we were 13 at the time )

 

I wrote and read anything and everything throughout my childhood and adolescence. Then I came to the US for college and the headcanons just stopped. I didn't have any ideas and didn't feel the need to write anything for almost 10 years. Now I think it was because my brain was getting rewired and re-adjusted to the new culture and new language. I spoke and wrote well when I came here first, well enough to get me through college, but it was very stilted and not creative. It took a long time to get that "playfulness" with the English language that I took for granted with my native tongue. I still write things very slowly, and wonder if some of the expressions I use are weird, and some of them probably are, but Solas helped me get back to the point where I dream and come up with ideas and feel the need to get them out. So he basically reinforced my connection to the fade  And to me that's honestly worth all the Solavellan hell I must endure. 

 

Honestly, most of the time I don't worry too much about how well I'm doing. I feel that adrenaline rush when I'm inspired to write something. As long as that feeling is there for 90% of the chapter, I often feel like it's a good chapter. I think I'm at the point where I should probably get more analytical, take notes on what works and what doesn't and hone writing as a skill, but everything in its due time. 

 

One day when I'm 190 years old and looking back, I know I'll have created something, and something is left behind me. That's a lot in itself.

Spoiler

First of all, I just want to give you a hug and so here it a kitty hug at the very least.

 

 

I also quite related to the difficulties to learn how to write with any kind of playfulness in what isn't your main language. It took me years to learn, and I still feel like my writing is clunky and doesn't carry emotion the way I wish it to. It's only when I stumbled to the first first thing I tried writing in English and was serious about that I realized just how much progress I've made in the last ten years. this thing was really bad!

 

On the other hand, I used as a teen to write in my main language quite a bit, but I feel that I'm unable to do so at this point. I don't know how anymore. My brain is too use to the English way of doing things, and it's different enough from French as to make all the progress I've made in writing useless. Oh well... I get more readers in English at least

[Solas]

finishes my Inquisitor playlist Hmmm yes good I have hurt my own feelings enough for one day