So why does Iron Bull not count as a romance for women, exactly?
Because he is a companion, and you can romance him with a straight female Inquisitor.
No way, is this for real? A male/female romance slot is really taken up by that monster? Ugh.
I haven't read the complete thread so it has probably been mentioned already, but since the OP focuses on ME romances and DA2 I would like to mention Alistair as well. He is very clearly the main straight female romance option and you get plenty of flirt chances early on in the game with him. And once you have maxed his romance and are happily in love between all the misery that is the Blight, Gaider changes the relationship into an obstacle course and goes out of his way to try to break it up. Spare Loghain and you lose Ali. Okay, I can understand that. So, off with Loghain's head. Oh, who takes the crown? Well, the game keeps pressing me into choosing Alistair and I don't know if I can trust Anora, so going with Alistair. Too bad! Now you get dumped! Because you're not a human, or not a noble, AND because you're infertile. Suddenly. Never mind that every other potential royal couple is pretty much guaranteed to be infertile and none of the pairings have been reported to produce offspring, but the straight female is the brooding mare and we have to ditch that one with the blighted uterus. That's lovely. Male Warden can marry infertile Anora with his tainted seed and there's not even a mention of the problems with siring an heir. Well, anyway, turns out you have to harden Alistair and have high persuasion and then you can become his queen (hooray!) or his mistress (...ehh). True romantic love. Uhu. But okay, still in love, so carry on. No, wait! One of you is guaranteed to die. Unless you let your lover sleep with Morrigan, which will result in a child. What your tainted uterus is no longer capable of. Oh wow. Just wow.
Look, I can get behind plot twists and obstacles along the way and not a perfectly content and happy ending, but this level of sabotage is just ridiculous, and it is only limited to this one straight female romance. Morrigan's romance is not effortless either and does not end perfectly happy, but you still do not have as many obstacles to overcome as with Alistair.