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[Marioninja1]

Note: This is meant to be a silly fanfic. Do not take everything serious reading this.

Chapter 1

Found as a baby by the Wardens, Donut has always been...different. Not 'chosen-one' different, nor 'most-powerful-warrior-ever' different; more like 'enchantment!' different. This is his insane, unbelievable, and clumsy story.

Although not always a clumsy fool, Donut was notorious for his stupid streaks. This story starts during a stupid-streak.
"You ba***rd! My finger!" Yelled the sword fighting instructor. A pale-skinned, lanky, light-blonde warden-in-training followed the stretcher apologizing as if when he hit the one-thousand benchmark everything would be okay.
"I'm  sorry. I thought you wanted me to swing at you!" Donut said.

"Why do you allow that fool to even try to become a Warden?" Geoffrey, a black-haired, dark eyed, pale Elf asked Duncan.
"We do not abandon people." Duncan said.
"Others have not been so kind, Duncan. The Wardens have been-and will be- abandoned. We can't allow fools like Donut chopping off everyone's fingers and weakening us." Geoffrey practically spat out Donut's name like his life depended on it. "Maybe when the Wardens are betrayed once again you will see the error of your ways."
"Maybe, Geoffrey, you should re-think your stance. The Wardens could have abandoned you and your sister. Do not overstep your boundaries again, child." Duncan said, walking away as he said the last sentence.

"Don't worry, ser, it's only your pinky!" Donut said, trying to calm the instructor.
"The fool doesn't even know what finger he cut off!" The instructor yelled. He was going to pass out soon.
An old mage, named Wynne, was used to healing people that had encountered Donut and ran to the stretcher holding the instructor as fast as her old legs could take her.
"You chopped off his thumb, Donut. Shoo! I need to focus." Wynne said.
"Oops. It'll be okay, instructor! We'll laugh about this later, when you have two thumbs!" Donut yelled.
"****** off and stop yelling at me, idiot. I'm not deaf." The instructor said.

Geoffrey's sister, Mina, a palem white-haired light-blue eyed Elf, sat beside Donut. "How do you feel?" She asked.
"Terrible. Worse than when my Hound died." Donut answered.
"It wasn't your fault. Who knew he'd jump into a vat of Darkspawn blood?" Mina said. She consoled Donut frequently, even though it usually was his fault. They were best friends since childhood, and she had grown quit fond of him. Of course, she was too embarassed to tell him and Donut was too daft to recognize.
"But I cut off his thumb!" Donut said. "How would I know the blade'd go through his glove?"
"Wait, what? That's not possible. How hard did you swing the sword?" Mina asked. It was a redundant question, as Donut was probably the weakest person in camp and the gloves were extremely strong.
"The instructor is going to kill me." Donut said.
"Don't worry about it. You'll just cut off his thumbs so he can't hold a sword." Mina said.
"You can be a cruel woman, Mina." Donut said.

[tallon1982]

Nice =)

[Tasmen]

Awwwwwww, there so needed to be a Grey Warden named Donut.

[MarcusDeVarro]

aaaaaaahhhhhhh donut!

you need more wardens named Church, tucker, simmons, griff, sarge, and doc

[Jules8445]

MARCUS! Good god man...you're so full of awesome. I was totally going to post the exact same thing until I saw your post. I'm mildly obsessed with RVB. Okay...maybe not mildly...but it only burns a candle flame to my Dragon Age obsession.

Kudos to OP on the idea in the first place!

[NvVanity]

MarcusDeVarro wrote...

aaaaaaahhhhhhh donut!
you need more wardens named Church, tucker, simmons, griff, sarge, and doc

I was thinking the same thing too.

Great story so far I'm looking forward to the next installments.

[The Gay Warden]

I'm assuming Donut is from RvB.



Anyways, aside from the unoriginal name, (atleast, I'm assuming) it was pretty funny. Waiting for the next chapters!

[MarcusDeVarro]

"i think ill stay here and guard this rock...from tucker...which im pretty sure is how this whole thing started" -caboose

"Whats wrong you seem nervous?"-Church

"what if tucker is contagious? I do not want to catch the pregnancy!" -caboose

"Oh my god, no one is pregnant. Caboose stay here, doc shut up, im gonna go shoot tucker." - Church

[tallon1982]

I'm totally ignorant of this RvB stuff...Enlighten me someone?

[Jules8445]

Tallon: I don't know where you find the first season...I'd tell you to go watch the current one, but you'd be lost.

It's some of the most awesome machinima out there, and it's made using a Halo platform. Really, Really, funny.

[MarcusDeVarro]

tallon1982 wrote...

I'm totally ignorant of this RvB stuff...Enlighten me someone?

Red vs Blue is a machinima series created by RoosterTeeth
it started in teh box canyon known as Blood Gulch and follows the Red army and Blue army as they attempt to kill each other but seem to fall into some crazy antics
Here is the archive of the seasons

[tallon1982]

Ah ha! Then you probably would like this

[MarcusDeVarro]

man i remember this on G4

[tallon1982]

Thoraxe the Impaler...Would you like a bolt from a god? hehe

[The Gay Warden]

Words cannot describe the awesomeness that is Red vs Blue. They became really, really famous, and even got a contract with Bungie. Now you can find they DvD box sets in a number of stores, even Wal-Mart.

[MarcusDeVarro]

really

i havent to see a box set of all the seasons (including reconstruct, relocate, and recreastion) in anystore other than GameStop?

[The Gay Warden]

Yeah, there's one in my local Wal-Mart in the electronic isle.

[MarcusDeVarro]

aaahhhh i c ic

hmm maybe ill have to look closlier (if thats a word)

cause ik GameStop sells them but only on request

[The Gay Warden]

Yeah, I got every season at GameStop. Lol. Gatta love RvB...