Hey, Rendon. What are you doing? Soccer practice is over. Get outta here. Oh, you're waiting for your mom to drive you to Gamestop? Right. Sit down, Rendon. Lemme tell you a little something about videogames.
Back in my day, Rendon, we didn't just go out an buy games willy-nilly, alright? We had this thing we called "shareware". Shareware, Rendon. Just think about that. It was software that the game companies shared. It was glorious.
We'd buy a copy of, I dunno, Game Informer or PC Gamer or something, and it'd have a copy of, let's say Dragon Age Inquisition, on around 22,000 floppy discs. Shut up. It's an example, Rendon. Anyway, you'd spend a few days installing Dragon Age, and then you'd get to play one or two levels of it. It wasn't much, but it was great, Rendon. It built character.
Gamers these days, Rendon, they're coddled. They've got their Playstation Networks and their Xbox Lives and their Steams and their proprietary Steam imitatiors, and they can download full games in an hour or two. I wish I could've done that when I was your age. Anyway, what were we talking about? Oh, right. Get outta here.
If you've read this is H. Jon Benjamin's voice, and most of you should have, then you know what must be done. Bioware needs to hire him as a voice actor in Inquisition. I don't care if it's as a DLC-only player voice (this would be amazing), or whatever, but this game needs to have the world's greatest voice actor in it somewhere.
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