I still find this first argument to be rather shallow; I find the most attractive quality in a person has nothing to do with their physical appearance, but their ability to have a good conversation. Do i have preferences when it comes to physical apperance? Of course. But those are all secondary to a deep, meaningful conversation.
Add to that the fact that I'm still going to make any given inquisitor look like they went running blindfolded through the forest where the ugly trees grow and everyone and their mother is still going to consider them the Maker's gift to anyone who might find them attractive, and the whole thing rings hollow.
As for the rest; there are degrees of it. I understand that. My grandfather once told me that the only thing he and my grandmother had in common was that they loved each other, and they were married for thirty years before she passed. But as Maria said, there's a difference between romancing Fenris as a mage who advocates mage freedom, and as a blood mage who dabbles in slavery.
Well it's easier to control if the player has picked race A or B than if he has made a really good looking character 
About physical appearance, it depends a lot on the person. Personally, I don't even know what it is that it's important for me to find some attractive. I care a lot for sense of humor and intelligence, and I usually find really attractive kindness, but I'd lie if I say physical appearance doesn't affect my judgment at all... And, in any case, I'm sometimes myself surprised about finding someone attractive, because he has little to none of those qualities 
But there's also people who can be really appreactive about any of those qualities, but still would not be attracted to someone if s/he doesn't find her/him physically attractive, because is just how they feel about it, not because mere shallowness...
What I mean, it's attraction is very complicated
and it's hard to say what it's right or realistic, IMO