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The most ABSURD statements in the game series --


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#376
Jukaga

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When speaking with Xen in ME2.....

 

Dialog tree - "So you agree with Rael'Zorah?"

 

Shepard's Dialogue - "So you think it's okay to experiment on living things?"

 

Me: Wait a minute. When did my Shepard start thinking that Geth were living things? That's not what I wanted to say!

 

Conclusion - quality writing? This one is right up there with Asari reproduction. Shepard is a moron.

I hate those judgemental quips Shepard has towards Tali and Mordin on their LMs, the preview dialog does not show them to be Shepard berating them, but that's exactly what she does. I usually skip those investigations now as they add nothing but bad auto-Shepard and are never referenced again.


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#377
ImaginaryMatter

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I came across this comic today which I thought was relevant:
 

27254.jpg


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#378
ImaginaryMatter

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I don't know if this is absurd, more like awkward but I always found the Consort stuff in ME1 a little weird -- especially since your squadmates go with you.



#379
sH0tgUn jUliA

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I don't know if this is absurd, more like awkward but I always found the Consort stuff in ME1 a little weird -- especially since your squadmates go with you.

 

I guess they like to watch.


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#380
von uber

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"You haven't forgotten how to use a gun have you?"
"**** off Anderson, I've been killing endless streams of husks with biotics for the past five minutes!"
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#381
cap and gown

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When speaking with Xen in ME2.....

 

Dialog tree - "So you agree with Rael'Zorah?"

 

Shepard's Dialogue - "So you think it's okay to experiment on living things?"

 

Me: Wait a minute. When did my Shepard start thinking that Geth were living things? That's not what I wanted to say!

 

Conclusion - quality writing? This one is right up there with Asari reproduction. Shepard is a moron.

 

I hate most of Shepard's take here, or at least the writers take on what Shepard is saying. Why is it paragon to want peace with the Geth? If you do the trial before picking up the Geth, what do you know about them except they are robots trying to kill you? Why should it be assumed they are living beings? When Tali says "We might need those ships to fight the Reapers," I am wondering, but why not take out the Geth now before the Reapers arrive? They are, after all, allied with the Reapers (or at least that's what we know if we haven't spoken to Legion yet). What is so renegade about saying Shepard will help Tali take her homeworld back? That is a bad thing? Should we also let the Reapers conquer Earth?

 

Just dump the whole paragon/renegade thing. Just have the character make choices without them being color coded as blue or red.


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#382
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"You haven't forgotten how to use a gun have you?"
"**** off Anderson, I've been killing endless streams of husks with biotics for the past five minutes!"

 

Has anybody ever figured out what prompts him to say that? I think it has something to do with how fast you jump out that window.



#383
themikefest

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Has anybody ever figured out what prompts him to say that? I think it has something to do with how fast you jump out that window.

Doesn't he say that before Shepard climb's down the ladder that leads to where we see the kid enter the building?



#384
ImaginaryMatter

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Has anybody ever figured out what prompts him to say that? I think it has something to do with how fast you jump out that window.

 

I think he says it if you don't use the gun to shoot at the first wave of husks.



#385
cap and gown

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Doesn't he say that before Shepard climb's down the ladder that leads to where we see the kid enter the building?

 

He says that after the conversation about going to the Citadel and telling Shepard to reload, and just before the Dreadnaught blows up.



#386
themikefest

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He says that after the conversation about going to the Citadel and telling Shepard to reload, and just before the Dreadnaught blows up.

http://youtu.be/Jt3kOKslP60?t=12m50s



#387
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Ah, that's right. I was thinking about his "How long has it been since you've handled a weapon" line.



#388
sH0tgUn jUliA

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I hate most of Shepard's take here, or at least the writers take on what Shepard is saying. Why is it paragon to want peace with the Geth? If you do the trial before picking up the Geth, what do you know about them except they are robots trying to kill you? Why should it be assumed they are living beings? When Tali says "We might need those ships to fight the Reapers," I am wondering, but why not take out the Geth now before the Reapers arrive? They are, after all, allied with the Reapers (or at least that's what we know if we haven't spoken to Legion yet). What is so renegade about saying Shepard will help Tali take her homeworld back? That is a bad thing? Should we also let the Reapers conquer Earth?

 

Just dump the whole paragon/renegade thing. Just have the character make choices without them being color coded as blue or red.

 

And Tali gets all self-righteous about Xen performing surgery on her toys. WTF, Tali? They're toys. So she took them apart and put them back together. Big deal. Who wrote that crap? I know it's trying to make Xen look like "the mad scientist." But you know what? It makes Tali look like the drama queen and makes Xen look like the only sane one of the bunch.

 

This is just another line I'm going to have a field day with in the "What did you do in the Mass Effect Trilogy?" thread. I've come to the conclusion that Shepard is a moron.

 

"Synthesis is the only way you won't have to listen to people talk about how you thought Asari needed other species to reproduce."


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#389
shodiswe

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The part about the "organic energy" was probably the most absurd description of anything.

On the otherhand, I guess that makes sense for something that completely lacks a word... It sounds horribly un-scientific though. I can't say I'm a fan of that wording or explanation.
If I wanted to explain Synthesis then I'm 100% certain I could have made it sound better and more "acceptable" an explanation.

It's not a huge thing though. But it does add up.

#390
von uber

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Admiral xen was really under utilised.

#391
Ajensis

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There are indeed quite a few absurd statements, but somehow the OP found a whole bunch that aren't.

 

Edit: weird formatting going on. Don't know why the first [ /quote] isn't working :wacko:

 

 

Catalyst: “the Reapers do NOT want war with organics”.

Really?  As supremely intelligent as the Catalyst & Reapers are, they don’t understand the word “WAR”?[/quote]

 

Already pointed out by someone else, but yeah, the imperative word here is 'want'.

 

 

 

Catalysts: “the created will always rebel against their creators

Yep!  My last car rebelled against me in 2012 so I bought a new one.

 

"Created" ≠ every single thing we build.

 

 

 

Sovereign:  “we are your salvation through destruction

Oxymoron.  Let’s see now – I need someone who is more wonderful & wise to spin that around and make sense of it.  How about “I want MY salvation thru YOUR destruction”?

 

Why would a machine be interested in salvation for itself?

 

The "your" in that quote refers to organic life, all of it. The species they harvest is only a tiny part of that group. It's their belief that they're sparing the entire group of organic life by preventing the most advanced forms of life from creating machines that'll destroy it all.

 

 

 

Salerian Council member “The Reapers really don’t exist, it is all made up by Saren”.

Never mind that Shep has nose-to-nose encounters with them.  Sawdust for brains.

 

Just because we know that Shepard is telling the truth doesn't mean that everyone in the game knows that too.

Imagine someone told you (in the real world) that a race of aliens is coming to destroy us all. Would you just take his word for it? Some things, like the concept of the Reapers, is such an incredible change to how you perceive the world you live in... very few would be able to just accept someone's word for it without a shadow of doubt.

 

 

 

Asari Council member “In the defeat of Sovereign, Shepherd put human interests before the council”.

Right!  That’s why you’re still alive.  How can she be so dumb and still breathe?

 

Also brought up by another member already. It's another asari councillor.

 

 

 

The Illusive Man (TIM):  “I’m looking out for humanity’s best interest”.

Right!  Starting & ending with ultra-ego TIM.

 

Not sure which part of the trilogy you're assigning this quote to, but in ME2 he arguably was, and in ME3 he at least believes it enough/is indoctrinated enough to not make it absurd in the slightest. I don't see how his ego factors into it at all.

 

All in all, you've chosen some very odd quotes (or "quotes" in most cases) to complain about. But anyway, as I said in the beginning, it's definitely not that Mass Effect is without its fair share of blunders.



#392
KaiserShep

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"You haven't forgotten how to use a gun have you?"
"**** off Anderson, I've been killing endless streams of husks with biotics for the past five minutes!"

 

If you get good shots in and kill the husks quickly as they climb up the side of the building, he won't say it.



#393
von uber

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If you get good shots in and kill the husks quickly as they climb up the side of the building, he won't say it.


I know. It's just the absurdity of a level 30 adept blowing husks away but unable to progress until she uses the shooty bang bang thing.
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#394
KaiserShep

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It's a bit absurd, but not nearly as awkward as ME2's tutorial sequence.



#395
sH0tgUn jUliA

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It's a bit absurd, but not nearly as awkward as ME2's tutorial sequence.

 

As in Shepard adept blowing away the mechs with "the good stuff," and you can't progress until you have Jacob use "Pull." Yeah, baby, that's how its done. Jacob! You showed me the light!


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#396
SporkFu

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As in Shepard adept blowing away the mechs with "the good stuff," and you can't progress until you have Jacob use "Pull." Yeah, baby, that's how its done. Jacob! You showed me the light!

*renegade-interrupt*
Shep *Tosses a throw at the back of Jacob's head* : That's how you hit ' em with the good stuff.
Jacob *flies over the railing* : Believe it! Aaaaaiiiiieeee
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#397
themikefest

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My first thought was when I saw Jacob, I thought he was wearing long underwear and not armor. It took me a couple of minutes to figure out that I had to use his pull to move the story forward. Heck even playing as a vanguard and using shockwave to take out the mechs. Why do I need him?


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#398
ImaginaryMatter

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My first thought was when I saw Jacob, I thought he was wearing long underwear and not armor. It took me a couple of minutes to figure out that I had to use his pull to move the story forward. Heck even playing as a vanguard and using shockwave to take out the mechs. Why do I need him?

 

Because Shepard doesn't have the good stuff?


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#399
sH0tgUn jUliA

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Because Shepard doesn't have the good stuff?

 

Jacob has "the prize."


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#400
SporkFu

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Jacob has "the prize."

Not in my games ;)