@ CrimsonHead and Bluedrake89 - I don't know what to tell you then. It doesn't seem like the same power dynamic.
Soldiers in the field are your subordinates. Regardless of whether they agree or disagree, it's not their job to give you advice on how to complete a task. The sole purpose of advisors is to give suggestions on how you accomplish your goals. If you disagree with what one of your mages says, they can still be valuable as combatants. If you disagree with an advisor's general philosophy or principles, there is no alternative role that they can fill. Advisors and companions are not the same, so why would their opinions on tactics be weighed equally? If there is a clear distinction between the roles of advisors and companions, I think it's fair to use that as one reason to view potential romances with them in different ways.
That's how I see it, at least... it's not the only reason I don't care for non-companion romances, but w/e... overall, I have a hard time seeing them as being equal to an actual party member.